Pink Coconut Marshmallow Cakes

Date: Now | Author: Me

[Lazamataz]

You know those pink coconut marshmallow cakes you find on convenience store shelves...? If you get too many of them together in close proximity, critical mass is reached and an explosion ensues.

The explosion creates tens of new pink coconut marshmallow cakes per cake found on the shelf. This, in turn, causes another explosion, which occurs a few hours, when the cakes heat up again. This is known by Military EOD specialists and government teams dedicated to controlling these outbreaks, as a Pink Coconut Marshmallow Cake Event (PCMCE).

In the effort to make these dangerous snacks more acceptable, Hostess renamed the product, from the "Dangerous Spontaneously Exploding Coconut Marshmallow Cakes" to the less-threatening "Sno-Balls".

If you have never heard of the nanobot "Grey Fog" scenario, let me explain it: If you release a nanobot that has, as its only purpose, the collection of raw materials to fashion more nanobots, who in turn create more nanobots, the entire planet will become a 'grey fog' of nanobots. Like the Nanobot 'Grey Fog' scenario, the pink coconut marshmallow cake self-perpetuating explosion is a very real, very serious problem. There are three cases of it, right now, that authorities are trying to control:

1. One, Area 51, was once a small sleepy town called Carlstown, until a convenience store clerk mistakenly placed four of the cakes in close proximity. In response the government quickly erected Area 51 to contain the crisis. They spread rumors about UFOs, and called the Area a secret testing facility. So far -- until this expose' -- the secret has held.

2. Another occurred in the 1980's in Chernobyl, Ukraine. Several boxes of pink coconut marshmallow cakes were smuggled from the West, but without proper instructions translated from English, the clerks allowed the cakes to sit in a warehouse without the proper lead shielding. Once the cakes erupted, the Ukrainian government tried, unsuccessfully, to wipe out the cakes by overloading a nuclear reactor. All that happened is that they have millions of radioactive pink coconut marshmallow cakes.

3. Finally, a PCMCE occurred in the south of France in 2011. This occurred with the white-colored version of the cake. The French authorities were able to airlift the entire convenience store to the Antarctic, where the increase in mass is mistakenly attributed to ice growth. Closer satellite observation reveals millions of tiny little white coconut marshmallow cakes, and somehow the outcome meshed well with their colloquial name: Sno-Balls.

This is a serious problem. We will need funding to contain it. Please lobby your Senator and Congressman to fund the PCMCE Containment fund today!

Note the specialist carefully handling this dangerous product. Please note he is aligning the dangerous cake with the polar magnetic lines. This tends to minimize the risk of a PCMCE.

DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS ON YOUR OWN WITHOUT PROPER TRAINING!

[Responsibility2nd]

 

"I'm Chris Christie, and I approve of this thread."

[b4its2late]

LOL!

[Lazamataz]

LOL

But it is clear this is photoshopped: This is well-past the number of PCMC’s required to create an Event.

[Responsibility2nd]

Yes, but...

This is Chris Christie we’re talking about here. His massive girth was due in part to Sno Balls. He became immune to the toxicity.

[Lazamataz]

The toxicity is one issue, but the Spontaneous Explosion event is another altogether.

Unless you are saying Christie has a previously-unseen dampening effect?

[Responsibility2nd]

Its the SnoBalls, I tell ya.

 

A PCMCE would indeed kill a normal person. A Spontaneous Explosion is fatal. Except in Christie's case - it just reduced him by a quarter ton or so. as is evidenced by before and after pics.

[NEMDF]

I have perused all of the replies on this thread, hoping someone put up a recipe for home-made Pink Coconut Marshmallow Cakes. I am so disappointed. I love the coconut marshmallow cakes. I love the stretchiness of the marshmallow-coconut layer. YUM. I am so excited that Hostess went back into production, so I can get me some coconut marshmallow cakes - I don’t even care whether they are pink, white, green, purple, or orange - whatever! I am not racist.

Actually my favorite Hostess offering, which seems to not have been part of the revival - or - they don’t have them in our area - are the Suzy Q cakes. Now we are talking deliciousness!

(In reality, I have coconut marshmallow cakes no more than about twice a year, but I DO LOVE THEM!)

[exit82]

And I thought we had enough trouble just with Tribbles.

[Veto!]

He does get around. Last time I heard, he was still driving around on access roads, looking for the exit. Any exit. With his new gf in the passenger seat feeding him those pink fluffy thangs covered in coconut.

[Slings and Arrows]

Well done!

[spodefly]

On the up-side, Sno-Balls are now manufactured in a non-union plant ...

[spintreebob]

How many realize that the Bimbo ate them all? How many realize the the original intent of sno-balls was the bimbo symbol? And now they have returned to mamamita.

Now is Bimbo grabbing Hostess in anyway related to that explosion that so many freepers are obsessed with?

[Delta 21]

Hafa Adai!

They aint pink.

They aint marshmallow.

You get the idea.

[Lazamataz]

Wait whut?