Pink Coconut Marshmallow Cakes

Date: Now | Author: Me

[Lazamataz]

You know those pink coconut marshmallow cakes you find on convenience store shelves...? If you get too many of them together in close proximity, critical mass is reached and an explosion ensues.

The explosion creates tens of new pink coconut marshmallow cakes per cake found on the shelf. This, in turn, causes another explosion, which occurs a few hours, when the cakes heat up again. This is known by Military EOD specialists and government teams dedicated to controlling these outbreaks, as a Pink Coconut Marshmallow Cake Event (PCMCE).

In the effort to make these dangerous snacks more acceptable, Hostess renamed the product, from the "Dangerous Spontaneously Exploding Coconut Marshmallow Cakes" to the less-threatening "Sno-Balls".

If you have never heard of the nanobot "Grey Fog" scenario, let me explain it: If you release a nanobot that has, as its only purpose, the collection of raw materials to fashion more nanobots, who in turn create more nanobots, the entire planet will become a 'grey fog' of nanobots. Like the Nanobot 'Grey Fog' scenario, the pink coconut marshmallow cake self-perpetuating explosion is a very real, very serious problem. There are three cases of it, right now, that authorities are trying to control:

1. One, Area 51, was once a small sleepy town called Carlstown, until a convenience store clerk mistakenly placed four of the cakes in close proximity. In response the government quickly erected Area 51 to contain the crisis. They spread rumors about UFOs, and called the Area a secret testing facility. So far -- until this expose' -- the secret has held.

2. Another occurred in the 1980's in Chernobyl, Ukraine. Several boxes of pink coconut marshmallow cakes were smuggled from the West, but without proper instructions translated from English, the clerks allowed the cakes to sit in a warehouse without the proper lead shielding. Once the cakes erupted, the Ukrainian government tried, unsuccessfully, to wipe out the cakes by overloading a nuclear reactor. All that happened is that they have millions of radioactive pink coconut marshmallow cakes.

3. Finally, a PCMCE occurred in the south of France in 2011. This occurred with the white-colored version of the cake. The French authorities were able to airlift the entire convenience store to the Antarctic, where the increase in mass is mistakenly attributed to ice growth. Closer satellite observation reveals millions of tiny little white coconut marshmallow cakes, and somehow the outcome meshed well with their colloquial name: Sno-Balls.

This is a serious problem. We will need funding to contain it. Please lobby your Senator and Congressman to fund the PCMCE Containment fund today!

Note the specialist carefully handling this dangerous product. Please note he is aligning the dangerous cake with the polar magnetic lines. This tends to minimize the risk of a PCMCE.

DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS ON YOUR OWN WITHOUT PROPER TRAINING!

[Lazamataz]

T’is amazing. You never know what will tickle Google’s fancy. I know they are automated, but I also know they are moderated.... so it is far more likely that some Google moderator thought it was cute, and included it. :)

[knarf]

I chuckled (as I always do) when I first read that and reminisced on all I could remember of the Lazaristic Lazarisms and .... THIS doesn't surprize me.

You were ... ARE ... destined for greatness
in a tree or for free
down the stair and anywhere
over hill and over dale
At a garage or rummage sale
pleasantly provoking
in a friendly way, poking
In rap and rock and roll and jazz
our loveable, uniquely, unstoppable LAZ !

[skinkinthegrass]

it moved! 😲

[Red Badger]

They have their EYE on YOU!............

[SZonian]

Not even appealing...

THIS on the other hand...

is manna.

[Lazamataz]

The funny thing is this is a nice generic scientific-concept phrase. The Google results bring up an entry that is so odd, many scientific types and college students will click through, and go check it out. They will laugh, then stay around the site, then get a nice Conservative education. WHOO HOO!

[knarf]

Oh yeah ... NOW you talk sane .....

GIMMEE BACK MY LAZ !!!!!

[knarf]

PS ...

/8^)

[Lazamataz]

P;^)

[knarf]

Yeah ... except you didn't < b >

(gott'a teach you EVERYthing .... sigghhhh )

[CatherineofAragon]

Bad news. They've been experimenting and have come up with another (even deadlier?) version.

[CatherineofAragon]

LOL

[verga]

I now have a craving, are you proud of your self.

[Lazamataz]

They’ve gone FULL DARK-SIDE.

[CatherineofAragon]

"Google apparently digs my work. :)"

I love it

[CatherineofAragon]

But they slipped...they thoughtlessly included the word “glo” on the label. Very sloppy.

[Lazamataz]

I think GLO was supposed to stand for Gay-Lesbian-Other, but they didn’t stop to consider how it would relate itself, adversely, to the PCMCE problem.

[CatherineofAragon]

Well, knowing that, I wouldn’t eat one even if it wasn’t irradiated all to hell.

[luvie]

You are the Goo-Guru!! :)

[Charles Martel]

White Calgary mom hopes community BBQ will stop her family from being ‘racially slurred’

Hmm, I might have to check out White Calgary as a possible vacation spot.