Those Annoying, Stunningly Stupid Warning Labels

spectator.org ^ | April 24, 2015 | Gerald D. Skoning

[PROCON]

Legal clutter from our litigious society.

It’s everywhere. The legalese. The lawyers’ gobbledygook. The hocus‑pocus and mumbo‑jumbo from a generation dominated by the legal profession. It’s the fallout from our litigious society.

The warning labels and messages are everywhere: on ladders, cigarettes, and lawnmowers, on prescription drugs and alcoholic beverages. Most of these warnings are expected. We hardly recognize them any more. We’ve become jaded and mesmerized by them.

Manufacturers go to laughable lengths to protect their customers from harm, bombarding them with ridiculous warning labels or stunningly obvious explanations of how their products work. Why else would a carton of eggs actually say that the product may contain eggs?

Of course the plaintiff’s bar has had plenty to do with this silly — and costly — trend. Sham product-liability cases can and do rack up Lotto size jury verdicts. According to Jury Verdict Research, which tracks results of personal-injury claims, in 2011 the median jury award in product liability cases was almost $2 million. Today, most likely that median damage award is much higher.

[libertarian27]

My favorite

[BraveMan]

[Vaduz]

It’s about the only way to buy cheap house in Los Angeles.

[SkyDancer]

Warning about how food will be hot after microwaving or baking. Dumb dumb dumb. Of course it will be hot, that’s why you cooked it in the first place.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Once upon a time, I worked for a place that had a product called a “brownie nut bar”. We were reported to the FDA because some guy with a nut allergy ate one and had an allergic reaction. We were told we would have to do a recall and relabel all the bars to include the "Warning: May Contain Nuts".

The head of QA, a dear English gentleman who was always soft spoken and polite to a fault , pointed out to them that the word "Nut" was in the name clearly printed on the label.

Didn't matter.

You could hear him three offices down as he bellowed, "The wrapper is transparent. You can SEE the < censored > nuts on the < censored > top of the < censored > brownie!"

[PROCON]

Nanny State material?

[Jack Hammer]

Thanks to our professional exploiters, the lawyers.

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

Why not! For centuries police in various parts of the world have used bull pizzles (hey that is what they call them!) as whips on riotus crowds.

http://worldwidewhips.com/whips/bulls_pizzles.html

[W.]

Ah, yes, rather like the African sjambok. I've only seen those bull dongers dried out and made into walking sticks. Waste not, want not, at least they didn't eat them--I guess, har!

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

Q: What do you call 2,000 trial lawyers chained to the bottom of the ocean?

A: A good start. :-)

Plaintiff's Bar Nanny State PING!

[Zeneta]

I bought a “Beach Ball” once.

Warning: “This product should NOT be used as an Alternative for ADULT supervision.”

[Hoffer Rand]

I always figure for every one of these seemingly obvious safety warnings, there was a lawsuit somewhere in the past.

Isn't that the truth? A couple years ago, there was a story about a guy who accidentally almost killed his wife because they were using a Saws-all (blade still attached) as a sex toy. Seriously, who looks at a bladed power tool and thinks sex toy?

[Still Thinking]

Reminds me of the joke about the less-than-intellectual high school quarterback tryout, the punchline of which is “Pass it? I don’t even think I can swallow it!”

[-YYZ-]

[-YYZ-]