***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

You all know, I have been a retired for a long time. I've become very bored so decided to open a medical clinic. I put a sign up outside that said: "Old Dr. Geezer's Clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not cured get back $1,000."

My neighbor, a 'young' doctor, was positive that this 'old geezer' didn't know beans about medicine, and thought it would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he visited my clinic ... 'Old Dr. Geezer's Clinic'. This is what transpired:
He told me, "Old Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth." can you please help me ??

I called to my nurse, "will you please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth."

Apparently he didn't, like it because he said, "Aaagh !! -- "This is Gasoline!"

I told the young doctor, "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."

I guess he was annoyed because he came back after a couple of days, probably figuring he could recover his money.

He told me, "Dr. Geezer, I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

Again, I called to my nurse, "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the doctor's mouth."

He reacted by saying , "Oh no you don't -- that is Gasoline!

I responded, "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."

After now having lost $1000 he left angrily, but I was surprised because he returned for treatment after several more days.

This time he said, "My eyesight has become weak .... I can hardly see !!!!"

I felt a little guilty that I had taken too much money from this young doctor, so I said, "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, " Here's your $1000 back."

He glanced at it and said, "But this is only $500..."

"Congratulations! You got your vision back !!! That will be $500."

I've taken my sign down and closed the clinic, but remember the Moral of my story:

Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart this Wise Old Geezer" !!!!

Why do I feel so weird and lightheaded. Oh, top 10. What an experience!!

Things that I trust more than Hillary Clinton:

* Mexican tap water

* A rattlesnake with a "pet me" sign

* OJ Simpson showing me his knife collection

* A fart when I have diarrhea

* An elevator ride with Ray Rice

* Taking pills offered by Bill Cosby

* Michael Jackson's Doctor

* An Obama Nuclear deal with Iran

* A Palestinian on a motorcycle

* Gas station Sushi

* A Jimmy Carter economic plan

* Brian Williams news reports Obama's so-called Birth Certificate

* Loch Ness monster sightings

* Prayers for peace from Al Sharpton

h/t Bill

A man washed up on a beach after a shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed-up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island.

After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. The sheepdog, ever-protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.

After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling. A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Nancy Pelosi.

That evening, the man brought Nancy to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the man started to get those feelings again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Nancy and told her he hadn't had sex for months. Nancy batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.

He said, "Yeah, please take the dog for a long walk."

h/t Leo

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