[Mrs. Don-o]

A recent letter to Miss Manners helps document the point about how abortion makes men startlingly unaware of their own parental responsibilities. Miss Manners, pen name of Judith Martin, takes a simple and pitch-perfect approach.

[Mrs. Don-o]

Since you are one to appreciate simplicity, even elegance of expression...

[PGR88]

The sexual revolution is over - and men won.

[MrB]

The father needs to explain it to him.

[ltc8k6]

A modern teen wrote “impregnated”?

[wastedyears]

And that’s why I keep it firmly in my pants.

Not having any STDs or children is entirely worth being celibate.

[struggle]

The order is date, marry, THEN have kids.

Dumba$$

[DoughtyOne]

Frankly, even though she is right, this boy deserves an attorney also. That is the person who should set him straight.

Saying that the girl’s attorney should fill him in suggests that’s where he needs to get his information.

That is a severely flawed response.

The boy is very wrong to think he should be able to demand the girl get an abortion. He should be responsible. HIS attorney should fill him in.

Would this columnist also suggest a man get his advice from his wife’s divorce attorney? Good grief.

[Lizavetta]

I think men have always been aware of parental responsibilities if they get someone pregnant ... that's why so many of them are pro-abort, so they can make their little problem go away.

That said, if he's under 18 can he be held responsible?

[Vendome]

Welcome to life, Dad.

[nathanbedford]

Actually, the boy has an argument according to the state of our modern jurisprudence. If a woman is entitled to an (early term) abortion regardless of the rights of the unborn baby, that tells me that the unborn baby has no rights. Therefore, the modern test of requiring the parents of children to pay for their upkeep should not apply against the father on behalf of the unborn. If a woman declines abortion she can only receive child support on the basis that the father is being made to attend to the needs of the after born rather than some claim of the mother (presuming the mother has custody).

Since we probably cannot force a woman to have an abortion by the same logic that prohibits us from restricting her choice to have an abortion, no expense prior to delivery should be attributed to the man. After delivery, the father should have equal claim on custody of the child as the mother, if that custody be in the best interest of the child, regardless of any demands the father might have made for abortion except insofar as those demands indicate that custody or visitation with the father would not benefit the child.

But what of a well-to-do mother who declines a demand by the father to submit to an abortion? If she has means alone adequate for the welfare of the baby should she not alone be charged with its upkeep? And if she is alone charged with upkeep of the child, can the father nevertheless get custody of the child or at least joint custody of the child on the child benefit theory that the child will gain from exposure to a loving father?

What would the feminists to say about this turn of events?

[kaehurowing]

Sounds like those same naughty college boys who used to write Ann Landers and Dear Abby.

[JoeFromSidney]

Only one quibble with Miss Manners. I don't think I would have referred to the female in question as a "lady." Nor, apparently, is the young man a "gentleman." He's trying to duck his responsibilities.

I know a couple who started out this way. They eventually married and now have a large family of really great children. It can happen.

[kjam22]

I have a little different view. The woman is the sole decider? The man’s only choice is to pay monthly for 18 or so years? This demonstrates that abortion is not about a woman’s body. I’m opposed to abortion, but I’m also opposed to a system where both parents aren’t involved in the decision. Would she want to keep the baby without his financial support? The system is not fair to the man, and often REALLY not fair to the baby.

[SamAdams76]

Are those newspaper "advice" columns still out there?

I always got a kick out of those "Dear Abby" columns when I was growing up. Even to my 13-year-old brain, I could see that they were entirely made up and scripted.

Now that's a nice gig if you can get it. Address moronic questions to yourself from fictional people and then answer them in a way that makes you seem a lot smarter and wiser than those poor, clueless, miserable souls out there.

[GraceG]

I would have added to get a Genetic Paternity test.

You never know, she could have been two timing him with some “bad boy loser” and she is claiming it is his kid since his parents are loaded.

Always get a paternity test, and the DNA kind not the blood type test either.

[moovova]

It’s not the boy’s fault.

He’s been taught by friends, teachers, TV, the internet, maybe even his parents...that it’s alright to boff anything and everything with no thought of responsibility or consequences.

/sarc (sadly, only partly sarcastic)

[Darren McCarty]

I am a teenage boy who apparently has impregnated a teenage girl. She says she's in love with me still, but also she will not get an abortion and insists that I pay support. I think this is all mood swings. How do I support her morally but not monetarily?

Man up, son.

[truth_seeker]

I was once a teenage boy of 19, and I impregnated a teenage girl of 17.

We married over 47 years ago, and remain so. Our daughter will be 47 this year.

The odds were against us, according to the loudest voices of the time.

Won’t we be something, with a 50th anniversary before the age of 70?

[sitetest]

Dear Mrs. Don-o,

I find the approach here to be in serious error.

The young man should not have any responsibility toward the child. In fact, it should be forbidden by law to seek support from him or any others.

If the mother cannot support the child, she should abandon the child in favor of those who can support the child. She should receive no assistance from the father, or from the government.

If the child is to be supported by the government, let that occur with an adoptive couple or within the context of an orphanage.

For those with a vengeful streak who cannot abide that the young man might totally escape responsibility for his actions, there is stoning.

sitetest