Turkish Religious Body Issues Fatwa Allowing Muslims to Use Toilet Paper

breitbart ^ | 7 Apr 2015 | Mary Chastain

[JoeProBono]

[Ditter]

Great picture! There is a huge mosque that my husband drives past every few days. Whenever he passes it he flips it the bird.

[Louis Foxwell]

You guys are soooo bad. LMAO.

[Capt. Tom]

I don't think this toilet paper thing will catch on in Saudi Arabia if the Wahhabis have a say.

Wahabbis believe any Muslim innovations after about the year 950 are not acceptable.- Tom

[OldSmaj]

Muslim defecation/cleansing ritual is as follows:

1- defecate.

2- use left index finger to clean anus.

3- use mouth and tongue to clean finger.

4- spit three times in the direction of mecca.

Voila! - clean anus, clean finger, clean mouth...mecca honored!

Win, win..., uh, WIN!

[Zeppo]

I’d guess that the “three seashells” would be a non-starter, then...

[Louis Foxwell]

You guys are soooo bad. LMAO.

[BenLurkin]

You say the “Wiz Khalifa”

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

Reminds me of what I read on a bathroom wall.

Here I sit among the vapor,
Some da*n fool stole all the paper.
My girl is waiting, I cannot linger,
Look out a**hole here comes my finger!

I have read that moslems urinate, then use a small pebble to remove the last few drops.
In Constantinople, doctors noticed this and at night began to smear the pebbles at a local place used by the moslems with a pepper sauce.
When the moslem used the rock it irritated the penis, so they went to the doctor who prescribed medicine for it.
The doctors got rich off of this.

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

When the moslem bows toward Mecca, their butt is facing Mecca in the opposite direction.

At night, I go out the back porch face Mecca and let fly! Works best after a pint of tea or beer.
Wife made me stop as it was killing the grass. So I go to a different spot, face Mecca every night, and let fly.

[OldSmaj]

Good one!

[Vinnie]

I thought they used their left hand. And the punishment of cutting off the left hand forced the criminal to use his right hand for defecating and eating.

[T-Bone Texan]

Great: A homicidal death cult that ALSO dictates your bathroom behavior.

Reminiscent of the childs’ game where you rub your head and pat your tummy at the same time, but with beheadings.

What if a muslim enters the bathroom with the wrong foot? Does he burn in hell?

A guy can dream.

[T-Bone Texan]

"...Reminds me of what I read on a bathroom wall...."

Here I sit,
my buns a'flexin',
just gave birth
to a Texan!

[JoeProBono]