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Why Women Are Rejecting “Perfect” Men
ironshrink.com ^ | September 18, 2014 | Shawn T Smith, Psy D

Posted on 02/07/2015 8:01:13 PM PST by ransomnote

A few weeks ago, psychologist Randi Gunther discussed the fact that women still initiate the majority of divorces, even after men dutifully followed women into the new millennium.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. We men learned how to change diapers and cook risotto. We learned to watch for barely perceptible nods of approval before opening doors for women. We even learned to manscape, for goodness sake.

Women were supposed to be happy with the new variety of men. Yet they are divorcing us just like they divorced our insensitive forefathers. Professor Gad Saad reported that American woman initiate 69% of divorces; the most recent British statistic is 72%.

Dr. Gunther, who specializes in repairing relationships, described some of the unhappily divorced men she meets in her office:

“I am currently dealing with several of these great husbands. They are, across the board, respectful, quality, caring, devoted, cherishing, authentic, and supportive guys whose wives have left them for a different kind of man.”

Who is this “different kind of man,” and why do women quit their marriages to pursue him? Dr. Gunther continues:

“The women I have treated who have left their husbands for more ‘masculine’ men believed that their new relationships would be able to both excite and nurture them.”

Clearly, this new stud is virile. He’s exciting. He possesses something that the “perfect” husband does not.

Dr. Gunther didn’t say it, but I will: it sounds as if many of today’s perfect, sensitive, cherishing men are… how shall I put this… boring.

Who can blame women for being bored with men these days? Far too many of us have lost our masculine fortitude. That fortitude has nothing to do with being dominant or avoiding vacuum cleaners. It’s a product of solid values and strong backbones.

(Excerpt) Read more at ironshrink.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: divorce; marriage; masculinity; values
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To: Tired of Taxes

And, believe me, as a woman who stopped working to raise her children, I now understand the value of a woman working, or at least holding onto a part-time job. Suppose the husband becomes ill... or suppose he leaves. Those of us who’ve been out of the workforce for a long time have more difficulty finding work.
i agree with you but the socialist economy that we have now dictates that. high taxes and regulation require you to work.


61 posted on 02/07/2015 10:06:52 PM PST by kvanbrunt2 (civil law: commanding what is right and prohibiting what is wrong Blackstone Commentaries I p44)
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To: Nepeta

Well, you are a very unusual case but maybe that’s because he had contacts with lawyers.

The usual outcome (and I’m sure that you would have to agree) is that the woman get more than half along with alimony and child support. Rarely is the male given child support even if granted primary custody (I know).

So while you may have suffered, the majority of women make out very well during a divorce which I imagine you know but are a bit angry that you did not.

The one thing that I would agree with is that if you gave up a promising career to get married and become a housewife, then you should be re-reimbursed enough to provide time to get a decent job. Actually, most men that I know would do that out of decency and love of their wife during a divorce unless it was because of her cheating.

Now if he actually liked men, shame on you for not knowing that before getting married. I would thing that if he is not wanting sex every night or more for the first year or so, he might be questionable, heh.


62 posted on 02/07/2015 10:09:15 PM PST by Deagle (gardless of)
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To: matt1234

Heh, great response!


63 posted on 02/07/2015 10:11:25 PM PST by Deagle (gardless of)
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To: Deagle

To be clear, I agree with you that those traditional roles in a marriage work well. But most of the men in my generation disagree. Again, though, there are exceptions to the rule.


64 posted on 02/07/2015 10:14:40 PM PST by Tired of Taxes
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To: kvanbrunt2
i agree with you but the socialist economy that we have now dictates that. high taxes and regulation require you to work.

Yes, indeed, we all must work to pay our overlords.

65 posted on 02/07/2015 10:19:43 PM PST by Tired of Taxes
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To: Tired of Taxes

Well, we agree but you do seem to have been born in the wrong generation (ha). Hope that you can find that man that belongs to your generation though, especially if you want to raise a family. If it is today’s, good luck and wish you well :o(.. Sorry, that just seems appropriate...heh.


66 posted on 02/07/2015 10:23:06 PM PST by Deagle (gardless of)
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To: arthurus

IOW You’re saying these women want a f*g.


67 posted on 02/07/2015 10:24:27 PM PST by uglybiker (nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-BATMAN!)
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To: Deagle

Oh, no, no, no... Nope. I already had my family - I’m still raising teens. I’m not looking. Told one guy who was interested to take a hike. They’re all alike, Deagle. LOL.

But at least now I think you understand the other side of the story. Goodnight.


68 posted on 02/07/2015 10:29:17 PM PST by Tired of Taxes
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To: ransomnote

what the hell is risotto?? im not an ‘enlightened man’ LOL


69 posted on 02/07/2015 10:30:37 PM PST by wafflehouse (RE-ELECT NO ONE !)
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To: Tired of Taxes

Heh, too bad that you think that they are all alike, that says it all... I see this as a side effect of today’s feminist theology. I do thank you for you side though. Have a good one.


70 posted on 02/07/2015 10:33:33 PM PST by Deagle (gardless of)
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To: wafflehouse

A creamy dish made from short fat Italian rice.

Never had it.


71 posted on 02/07/2015 10:35:27 PM PST by piasa (Attitude adjustments offered here free of charge)
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To: wafflehouse

An Italian rice dish.


72 posted on 02/07/2015 10:46:27 PM PST by kalee
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To: Deagle; Nepeta
One more thing...

The usual outcome . . . is that the woman get more than half along with alimony and child support.

Here's what really happens: The man walks away with two-thirds of his income, and the woman receives one-third as alimony. So, she must raise the children on one-third of the father's income plus some extra cash for child support. AND she must pay taxes on the alimony, whereas he gets to deduct the alimony from his taxes.

So, the guy comes out ahead.

73 posted on 02/07/2015 10:52:12 PM PST by Tired of Taxes
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To: Tired of Taxes

Not true by law but you can believe what you want. It really depends upon the State and most take much more than that from the man.

I had my divorce in Texas (21 years ago) and and current properties were divided 50/50 and only child support was an issue. I got primary care of our son and she did not have to pay child support. I on the other hand had to pay child support for the 3 months that she had custody during the summer. So, not all things happen as you would suspect. I do understand though that everyone has different experiences but it is really dependent upon State laws. Texsas is reasonable, but many States require huge alimony payments until marriage (Now why would they do that?).


74 posted on 02/07/2015 11:02:05 PM PST by Deagle (gardless of)
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To: Nepeta

Well, I would have to ask who caused the problems for divorce? Many times today (unlike the old days), it seems that women are entering the mid-life crisis phase and going bonkers (trying to make up for missed sex lives I guess). Seems to be a pattern these days...just look at all the female teachers doing their thing with their underage students.

Something has changed in society and it is not good.


75 posted on 02/07/2015 11:22:57 PM PST by Deagle (gardless of)
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To: ransomnote
This is part of the 1960’s Women's Liberation Movement and Feminism. Women were told they could “have it all”, career, kids, hubby, home with no stress. Now, 45 years later, it's breaking up more families than you can count. Much progress has been made but much has been lost too.
76 posted on 02/07/2015 11:25:19 PM PST by Netz
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To: Netz

You’re right and it did start in the early 80’s. Been going downhill ever since...and they wonder why men don’t want to get married anymore...


77 posted on 02/07/2015 11:36:58 PM PST by Deagle (gardless of)
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To: Tired of Taxes

“And, believe me, as a woman who stopped working to raise her children, I now understand the value of a woman working, or at least holding onto a part-time job. Suppose the husband becomes ill... or suppose he leaves. “

I cannot emphasize this enough.

Women have a lot more to lose if the man walks away. With the kids and being primary caregiver, women are often considered devalued for being unwed with kids, even if the kids are born in wedlock. So frankly, women SHOULD consider a career/job a priority and keep it no matter what.


78 posted on 02/08/2015 12:12:11 AM PST by CorporateStepsister (I am NOT going to force a man to make my dreams come true)
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To: SamAdams76

Exactly.

Too many men are marrying these immature (emotionally) women who have the mentality of girls who think that it’s the man’s job to cosset and protect them at all costs, no matter what, or HOW they BEHAVE. That is so wrong.


79 posted on 02/08/2015 12:13:00 AM PST by CorporateStepsister (I am NOT going to force a man to make my dreams come true)
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To: CorporateStepsister

Yes, I agree, Women should never get married as they would only face hardship when the husband leaves!

Conversely, Men should never get married as they would face financial hardship when the wife leaves!


80 posted on 02/08/2015 12:41:15 AM PST by Deagle (gardless of)
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