Cops: Uncle stabs nephew for eating too many pork chops

CBS12 News ^ | October 22 2014 | Victoria Price

[Slings and Arrows]

FELLSMERE, Fla. (CBS12) -- A 61-year-old man was arrested after he stabbed his nephew during a fight over pork chops, Fellsmere police say.

Billy Wall and his nephew Charles Williams were arguing over the number of pork chops each one got to eat for dinner.

-snip

Both men began to fight again after Williams said his nephew grabbed a machete and threatened him.

[jonrick46]

Is this it?

Pork chops + marijuana-induced ‘munchies’ = reefer madness

[dragnet2]

Wall said he only got to eat one porkchop but his nephew ate three and thought his girlfriend didn't get to have any.

Florida math test?

[mykroar]

+1

[Slings and Arrows]

Not necessarily. Pork chops are Serious Business in the South.

[Slings and Arrows]

MORAL: When you eat chicken, use a fork.

[Texicanus]

Southern etiquette. Some things you just don’t do is take a man’s poke chops without his approval. And that ain’t racist either.

[BlueDragon]

NOT GUILTY!

Free Uncle Billy!

(it sounds like he was protecting more than pork chops)

[House Atreides]

Man, they need to free Uncle Billy. I grew up fighting with family members over who got the last pork chop-—it’s a way of life that shouldn’t go by the wayside.

[Slings and Arrows]

Southern etiquette. Some things you just don’t do is take a man’s poke chops without his approval. And that ain’t racist either.

Damn straight. If I'm on the jury, he walks.

[Slings and Arrows]

It’s important to preserve cultural folkways.

[tumblindice]

We fried them in an electric skillet, then made gravy in the skillet and poured that over torn-up bread.
And just tossed the pork chops out ...
No, of course they were the best part. Covered with a crust, tender. If I wasn’t in a restaurant that frowned on such things, I’d gnaw on the chop bone like a cave troll.
Judgment for Uncle Stabby.

[Slings and Arrows]

Free Uncle Billy! (it sounds like he was protecting more than pork chops)

The machete attack was a bit of a giveaway.

[Slings and Arrows]

Judgment for Uncle Stabby.

ROTFL!

[Windflier]

I don’t see how any righteous Southern jury could convict this man. Poke chops is serious bidness down here.

[Slings and Arrows]

Very true. Cops must’ve been Yankee transplants.

[Windflier]

I’d gnaw on the chop bone like a cave troll.

We have GOT to be related.

[jocon307]

“...all he wanted was a Pepsi.”

But they wouldn’t give it to him!

[tumblindice]

Do your bulldogs growl at you too when it’s become apparent that you’ve removed just about every shred of meat from the chop bone, as well as actually chewing-up the little bone that comes off the big bone?

[TigersEye]

Gotta know how many chops the boy ate before I decide guilt or innocence and how many were left.

[Windflier]

Do your bulldogs growl at you too when it’s become apparent that you’ve removed just about every shred of meat from the chop bone, as well as actually chewing-up the little bone that comes off the big bone?

Naw, I don't have dogs anymore. They tend to get stupid about poke chops. I gnaw in peace these days.