Posted on 09/05/2014 6:32:12 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Dear Comrades,
Comrade Vice President Joseph Biden has announced that the USSA will chase The Islamic Caliphate (PBUI) ‘to the gates of hell’ with a barrage of fearsome Twitter messages and fatally ironic Instagram photos.
Already successful used by the USSA State Department’s Information Directorate against the bourgeois imperialist Vladimir Putin and the Boko Haram in Nigeria, The Islamic State can soon expect to receive thousand of potentially embarrassing texts and pictures from high-capacity online accounts being prepared at the White Fortress.
Throughout the USSA, countless college students have already volunteered to repost and retweet State messages, adding even heavier firepower to the State’s already considerable resources. So many messages are expected to put Caliphate accounts that many officials expect a total retreat within weeks, if not the closing of thousands of account by disloyal terrorist operatives.
Debilitated by shame and unable to handle ironic humor, Comrade President B. B. Obama has told Party officials he expects total destruction of the enemy back to manageable proportions before his mid-Autumn golf season begins in early October.
Q: In an apartment building in London, Ahmed lives on the first floor, Mustafa on the second floor and Harry on the third floor. The building explodes – who lives?
A: Harry of course – he was at work.
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Q: What do you call a building full of Taliban?
A: Jail
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Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there is a target on every corner.
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Q: What is the most popular kids show in the Middle East?
A: Dora the Exploder!
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Q: What do you call a Muslim stripper?
A: Youseen Memuff
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Q: How do Muslims practice safe sex?
A: They mark the camels that kick.
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Q. What can the Palestinians do to raise the average IQ in the West Bank?
A. Allow Jews to come in.
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Q: What do you call a building full of Taliban?
A: Jail
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In Mumbai, a man is going to jump off the building. Up rushes good Hindu cop to talk him down. The cop yells up to the man "Don't jump! Think of your father"
The man replies "Haven't got a father; I'm going to jump."
The cop goes through a list of relatives, mother, brothers, sister, etc. Each time man says "haven't got one; going to jump."
Desperate the cop yells up "Don't jump! Think of Lord Krishna"
The man replies "Who is that?"
The cop yells "Jump, Muslim! You're blocking traffic!"
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Q How many Muslims does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they prefer to sit in the dark and blame it on the Jews.
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Q: Why did the radical Muslim go to the airport and blow himself up?
A: He wanted to go everywhere.
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Q: Did you hear the one about the Muslim who won a Nobel Prize in Mathematics?
A: Neither did I.
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Q: Why do Muslims smell like piss?
A: So blind people can hate them too.
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Three men want make phone call from Hell to remind their relatives about its harsh conditions. Their Nationalities are American, Italian and Palestinian.
So they decide to go to the Devil, who is the boss.
The American made a call, and the Devil made him to pay $100 USD.
Then the Italian made a call, and the Devil made him to pay $10 Euros, on the fact that Italy is less developed than that of USA.
LASTLY the Palestinian made a call and the Devil made him to pay one cent.
Both the American and Italian complain, as it is not fair.
And the devil responded to them, "The Palestinian call was a local call, whereas yours were International calls."
Have a good weekend All! NCAA and NFK football on the schedule!!!!
Psaki, the Ginger Banana.
LOL! That look could freak someone out!
Joan Rivers on The Ed Sullivan Show 1967 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpPCFoXXhF0
In before: ‘this post has been deleted’
I know that’s fake, he’s a menthol smoker, not marlboro’s.
Phew. I didn’t even know North F@#$ing Korea had a football league.
Youre right
“ah Salem...alikeum”...BHO 2009
If Biden and Obama want to send the “not really muslims” to Hell, why the HELL did Baraq Hussein Ubama insist on giving the corpse of Osama Bin Laden an Islamic funeral ceremony before dumping the carcass at sea?!!!
WOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO top 50!
TGIF
The Value of Engineering or common sense!
A toothpaste factory had a problem. They sometimes shipped empty boxes without the tube inside. This challenged their perceived quality with the buyers and distributors.
Understanding how important the relationship with them was, the CEO of the company assembled his top people. They decided to hire an external engineering company to solve their empty boxes problem. The project followed the usual process: budget and project sponsor allocated, RFP, and third-parties selected. Six months (and $8 million) later they had a fantastic solution - on time, on budget, and high quality. Everyone in the project was pleased.
They solved the problem by using a high-tech precision scale that would sound a bell and flash lights whenever a toothpaste box weighed less than it should. The line would stop, someone would walk over, remove the defective box, and then press another button to re-start the line. As a result of the new package monitoring process, no empty boxes were being shipped out of the factory.
With no more customer complaints, the CEO felt the $8 million was well spent. He then reviewed the line statistics report and discovered the number of empty boxes picked up by the scale in the first week was consistent with projections, however, the next three weeks were zero! The estimated rate should have been at least a dozen boxes a day. He had the engineers check the equipment, they verified the report as accurate.
Puzzled, the CEO traveled down to the factory, viewed the part of the line where the precision scale was installed, and observed just ahead of the new $8 million dollar solution sat a $20 desk fan blowing the empty boxes off the belt and into a bin. He asked the line supervisor what that was about.
“Oh, that,” the supervisor replied, “Bert, the kid from maintenance, put it there because he was tired of walking over, removing the box and re-starting the line every time the bell rang.
Granny’s prayer
In church last Sunday, I heard a sweet elderly lady in the pew next to me saying a prayer. It was so innocent and sincere that I just had to share it with you:
“Dear Lord: The last four or five years have been very tough. You have taken my favorite actor - Paul Newman; my favorite actress - Elizabeth Taylor; my favorite singer - Andy Williams, my favorite author -Tom Clancy, and now my favorite comedian – Robin Williams.
I just wanted you to know that my favorite politicians are Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid.
Amen”
Chuckle for the day:
London cab driver’s answer to a request from a Muslim to turn off the radio.
(You just got to love the Brits.)
A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel.
The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door.
The Arab Muslim asked him, “What are you doing?”
The cabbie answered, “In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so get out and wait for a camel.”
LOL! I needed the laugh. Thanks for sharing.
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