Posted on 09/05/2014 6:32:12 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Dear Comrades,
Comrade Vice President Joseph Biden has announced that the USSA will chase The Islamic Caliphate (PBUI) ‘to the gates of hell’ with a barrage of fearsome Twitter messages and fatally ironic Instagram photos.
Already successful used by the USSA State Department’s Information Directorate against the bourgeois imperialist Vladimir Putin and the Boko Haram in Nigeria, The Islamic State can soon expect to receive thousand of potentially embarrassing texts and pictures from high-capacity online accounts being prepared at the White Fortress.
Throughout the USSA, countless college students have already volunteered to repost and retweet State messages, adding even heavier firepower to the State’s already considerable resources. So many messages are expected to put Caliphate accounts that many officials expect a total retreat within weeks, if not the closing of thousands of account by disloyal terrorist operatives.
Debilitated by shame and unable to handle ironic humor, Comrade President B. B. Obama has told Party officials he expects total destruction of the enemy back to manageable proportions before his mid-Autumn golf season begins in early October.
Q: In an apartment building in London, Ahmed lives on the first floor, Mustafa on the second floor and Harry on the third floor. The building explodes – who lives?
A: Harry of course – he was at work.
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Q: What do you call a building full of Taliban?
A: Jail
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Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there is a target on every corner.
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Q: What is the most popular kids show in the Middle East?
A: Dora the Exploder!
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Q: What do you call a Muslim stripper?
A: Youseen Memuff
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Q: How do Muslims practice safe sex?
A: They mark the camels that kick.
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Q. What can the Palestinians do to raise the average IQ in the West Bank?
A. Allow Jews to come in.
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Q: What do you call a building full of Taliban?
A: Jail
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In Mumbai, a man is going to jump off the building. Up rushes good Hindu cop to talk him down. The cop yells up to the man "Don't jump! Think of your father"
The man replies "Haven't got a father; I'm going to jump."
The cop goes through a list of relatives, mother, brothers, sister, etc. Each time man says "haven't got one; going to jump."
Desperate the cop yells up "Don't jump! Think of Lord Krishna"
The man replies "Who is that?"
The cop yells "Jump, Muslim! You're blocking traffic!"
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Q How many Muslims does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they prefer to sit in the dark and blame it on the Jews.
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Q: Why did the radical Muslim go to the airport and blow himself up?
A: He wanted to go everywhere.
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Q: Did you hear the one about the Muslim who won a Nobel Prize in Mathematics?
A: Neither did I.
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Q: Why do Muslims smell like piss?
A: So blind people can hate them too.
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Three men want make phone call from Hell to remind their relatives about its harsh conditions. Their Nationalities are American, Italian and Palestinian.
So they decide to go to the Devil, who is the boss.
The American made a call, and the Devil made him to pay $100 USD.
Then the Italian made a call, and the Devil made him to pay $10 Euros, on the fact that Italy is less developed than that of USA.
LASTLY the Palestinian made a call and the Devil made him to pay one cent.
Both the American and Italian complain, as it is not fair.
And the devil responded to them, "The Palestinian call was a local call, whereas yours were International calls."
W00T!
FIRST!! IBTP!@!
TOP10!!!!
Good Morning!
IBFT!
Top 10...maybe
top 11!
TOP TEN!!!! WOO HOO!
I am nearly wetting my pants reading today’s jokes! OMG!
LOL!
Top 20.....happy friday
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