***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

[Lucky9teen]

Random Silliness anyone?

 

Fed Up With "Frozen," 2 Dads Perform Parody Song 

 

A good Samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk "do you live here?"

"Yep".

"Would you like me to help you upstairs?"

"Yep".

When they got up on the second floor, the good person asked "Is this your floor?"

"Yep".

Then the good Samaritan got to thinking that maybe he didn't want to face the man's irate and tired wife because she may think he was the one who got the man drunk. So, he opened the first door he came to and shoved him through it then went back downstairs. However, when he went back outside, there was another drunk. So he asked that drunk "Do you live here?"

"Yep".

"Would you like me to help you upstairs?"

"Yep".

So he did and put him in the same door with the first drunk. Then went back downstairs. Where, to his surprise, there was another drunk. So he started over to him. But before he got to him, the drunk staggered over to a policeman and cried "Please officer, protect me from this man. He's been doing nothing all night long but taking me upstairs and throwing me down the elevator shaft!"

 

 

Danny's doorbell was ringing and when he answered it, he found his pretty neighbour Sally, pacing restlessly at his door. Sally, who had recently got a divorce, said to him, "Dan, I am feeling so lonely, I can't take it anymore.
I want to let my hair down, get drunk & want to have a good time. What are you doing tonight?"

Danny replied quickly, "I am free!"

"Wonderful." Sally said. "Can you take care of my kids?"

 

A couple had been married for 50 years.

They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.

''I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago..'

'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.'

Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.

''I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal'

 

[zeugma]

That was pretty imaginative. A sho-trooper!

[fredhead]

Some words of wisdom from a great American philosopher:

Marry a woman who can cook. The sex will wear off but you’ll always be hungry.

Exercise? If you see me running that means the laxative is working.

- Rodney Dangerfield

[Lucky9teen]

CAPTION THIS

[morphing libertarian]

Marines coming to remove after senate impeachment vote.

[AppyPappy]

"Yes, those are definitely the droids they are looking for"

[fredhead]

They’re coming to take me away ha ha
To the happy home
With trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile
And twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they’re coming to take me away ha ha

[clearcarbon]

[Liberty Valance]

[BenLurkin]

I love somersault Sylvester!

[JRios1968]

Yeah, everyone knows Gandalf said those words to Harry Potter when they arrived to Alderaan in the Enterprise...