Posted on 06/14/2014 5:32:03 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows
Here's what the husband wrote for the ad:
Due to be married soon? Not planning on staying faithful? Want to sleep with one of your soon-to-be husband's closest friends? Then THIS is the wedding dress for you!
This stunning, tuille swathed, ivory bridal gown has a proven track record of producing an adulterous, deceitful, double-crossing and traitorous "soulmate".
A one of a kind garment designed by Benedict Arnold, believed to be derived from the very cloth Judas Iscariot himself wore to the Garden of Gethsemane to betray the only son of God Jesus Christ.
This harlot-sized ensemble will make you the envy of your trampish posse on your fraudulent wedding day.
As an added bonus, this dress gives you the "entitlement" to legally obtain over half of your husband-to-be's worldly possessions.
This dress is guaranteed to provide you with approximately two years of reasonable wedded mediocrity before the complete and utter disintegration of your relationship due to your extramarital promiscuity.
Cosmetically, the garment is in better condition than the marriage not looking for much. Make an offer.
My wife left a year ago for another guy who is a drugged out worthless bum. After 23 years of marriage she left. The scum she is with has threatened to kill her if she tries to leave. What can I do? In the old west I would have blown him away long ago. But I just gotta take it. She tried to come home but he threatened to kill both of us if she came back. The divorce is pending but it’s not what I want. But there’s nothing I can do.
I’d like to give him three things....a tall tree, a short rope and a skittish horse.
Or, it could be a sign that she's a member of Al Quaeda or the Taliban.
I’ll go with that!
I have read that “cuckold” is derived from “cuckoo.” Many species of cuckoos do not raise their own young, but lay their eggs in the nests of other species.
it was so long ago... I was actually surprised I remembered it as Chaucer... and even recalled The Miller’s Tale...at least by name. Other thing I recall was that Millers were notoriously crooked. Then again maybe I am off on there too.
Oh and Ethan Frome was about some stupid ride on a sled.
Kind of like what’s happening on the border, then?
Wad up and throw down trash chute, as our son did the custom uniform of the officer who jilted his sister.
Wring it, wad it, throw on floor and stomp thoroughly, as I did ALL my husbands starched khakis and fatigues when he refused to come to the phone from a bachelor party to prove he wasn't henpecked. It was late and I only wanted to remind him we due to dinner at a superior officer's house.He was late and had to wear his flight suit to work next day.
Anyone else have a good suggestion?
vaudine
Can the police escort her home and a restraining order be put on the guy?
That’s very well done, but he’s never going to sell the dress!
UM, your wife wants to come back to you, but you are so frightened by the “boyfriend” that you won’t let her?
You need to take your wife back, go and get a restraining order against this guy and do what needs to be done to protect yourself and your wife.
Move to another location if necessary.
Your wife messed up big time, but are you going to be ok with it when this guy harms her or kills her? Are you going to be able to live with yourself?
I think he’s gotten what he wanted to out of the ad.
Been there... Done that. Figured out later I was having my emotions played with for sympathy and other stuff. It took time but I eventually figured out that she was a very manipulative loon; who got in the clutches of a bigger and even more manipulative loon.
Now I am VERY happily remarried to a sane and wonderful lady.
Damn. I hope things work out for ya.
Fred’s wife sounds like a total loser, a drugged out loser. Why would he want her back? There are good women out there Fred, go out and find one of them.
Best of luck to you Fred!
Now that's HILARIOUS!
...and don’t forget to give her half your stuff and the kids when you bail on an adulterous wife.
It’s not half your stuff. It’s her half from being in the marriage. That’s what marriage means.
There’s no part of the marriage deal that says when the marriage ends, what was once ‘ours’ suddenly becomes wholly ‘mine.’
As far as the kids go, I agree, family law should be much more fair to men in matters regarding children.
She was unfaithful to the marriage and should get nothing from it.
In my view, property division ends up following the order below:
(according to what I’ve seen and experienced, that is...)
Him: What we individually brought in belongs to the individual.
Everything we got together is ours, we split it evenly.
Her: What’s mine is mine, what’s ours is mine, and what’s yours is ours.
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