Siri says...
Posted on 06/06/2014 5:49:35 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
RECENTLY PRESIDENT OBAMA DECIDED TO TAKE AN AERIAL TOUR OF AN INDIAN RESERVATION IN OKLAHOMA. BECAUSE HE WANTED A CLOSE UP PERSONAL LOOK AT THE LANDSCAPE THE SECRET SERVICE COMMANDEERED A SMALL PRIVATE PLANE FOR THE OUTING.
It's time for a workout:
Raiders of the Lost Ark, but then I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered.
Trey Gowdy responds:
Vowels.
fOr tEn = 2 * .25 = .50
A thOUsAnd = 4 * .25 = 1.00
x 3 + 3 x3 1st digit + last digit ====== ======= ======= ====================== 1x3=3 3+3=6 6x3=18 1+8=9 2x3=6 6+3=9 9x3=27 2+7=9 3x3=9 9+3=12 12x3=36 3+6=9 4x3=12 12+3=15 15x3=45 4+5=9 5x3=15 15+3=18 18x3=54 5+4=9 6x3=18 18+3=21 21x3=63 6+3=9 7x3=21 21+3=24 24x3=72 7+3=9 8x3=24 24+3=27 27x3=81 8+1=9 9x3=27 27+3=30 30x3=90 9+0=9
Top ten ?
Entering a classroom at MCAS (Marine Corps Air Station,) Yuma, a female Marine Captain encountered a clearly apathetic audience. She was selected to provide a full hour’s instruction on Iraqi electronic warfare capabilities to 150 Marine aviators who showed by their body language deep skepticism about her ability to teach war fighting skills to an all-male class.
She began by noting that her voice had just been tested to see if it was suitable for some new cockpit recorder messages for Marine aircraft. She said that unfortunately she had not been selected to be the new “Bitching Betty.” However, she said it was only fair to warn the audience the reason given for her non-selection was that an analysis of her voice pattern revealed that her particular voice had a tendency to lull to sleep any male homosexual within earshot.
The assembled officers shot upright in their chairs. 150 pairs of eyes were wide open and locked on her and stayed that way for the rest of the period.
Don’t you just love female Marines?
_____
When he was a boot hubby’s unit received a lecture on sexual hygiene that he still loves to talk about. I have personally heard this story from him at least three times, so I’m fairly sure of the main points.
The female Marine sergeant was demonstrating the proper use of condoms. She noted that the number one reason given for non-use was “it doesn’t fit.” She then proceeded to take the condom and unroll it, stretching as she went, over her fist and her forearm up to the elbow. Holding her now fully protected arm up for the audience, she said, “I want to meet that man.”
Hoorah.
stop that! stop that! it's entirely too silly!
End of the road for those silly walks: John Cleese can’t perform Monty Python stunt anymore because he has a dodgy knee
By Laura Cox
Published: 17:58 EST, 3 June 2014 | Updated: 01:59 EST, 4 June 2014
*John Cleese will not perform silly walks in Monty Python reunion shows
*Ministry of Silly Walks was first broadcast on the Flying Circus in 1970
*It saw Cleese striding between meetings in government-approved walks
*But now aged 74 and with dodgy knee, actor can no longer perform stunt
* Michael Palin confirmed sketch will be absent in talk at National Theatre
Exponents?
Which aisles?
"Taste the rainbow"
"Smell the loudness"
Mr. X: Sure, just cut them up like regular chickens.
You are a very baaad person.
My work is done here...
;-)
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