Posted on 05/23/2014 5:38:26 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.
As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, 'What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And on and on and on.
Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.
While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.
Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.
As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.
'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said.
He whirled around and screamed, 'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?!'
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A. Ruthless.
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?...
A. German Shepherds.
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Q.. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden ?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once..
Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan, The banks were always overflowing.
Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.
Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark ?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. (Groan .....)
PS. Did you know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee?
Yup, it's in the Bible. It says . .. . "He-brews"
Don't argue with idiots...they will pull you down to their level and beat you with experience!
What tip? It’s driving me crazy, where’s the darned cat?
It took me longer than it should have to see the cat because I was hesitant to put all of my concentration into scouring the photo, fearing that all of a sudden some nasty monster face was going to pop up and startle the crap out of me. :)
I’m not telling!!!!
Oh,now I see the little bugger. Once you find him, it’s so obvious!
:) I have an advantage, I have cats.
I now see it, but I do not understand it. Of course, one can’t understand cats.
Hey! I know those people!
Ah...Franklin, TN - home of the Casey Jones Museum and Salem Cemetery Civil War battlefield (which we couldn’t find).
They look like nice people.
Good grief! Like everything else, when you see it, you wonder how you missed it for so long!
Great fun. Thx
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident.
The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder, could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, “I don’t know, this is the first time anyone has asked; Let me go find out,” and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. As they waited, they discussed that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all.
‘What if it doesn’t work they wondered, are we stuck together forever?
After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.
“Yes,” he informs the couple, “You can get married in Heaven.”
“Great said the couple, but we were just wondering, what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?”
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.
‘What’s wrong?’ asked the frightened couple.
“OH, COME ON!” St. Peter shouted, ‘It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it’ll take me to find a lawyer up here ?
They are. And it’s a friendly town too, even acknowledged by Southern Living in the top 5.
Excellent!
Because those places aren’t in Franklin? Try Jackson,TN for the Casey Jones Museum. Carnton is the Civil War battlefield in Franklin.
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