ping for later.
I have also noticed that the wives of high earning men NEVER belittle their husbands in front of them. I think that also is a circle. The more the wife respects the husband, the more the husband feels compelled to earn.
Oh yeah, I hear you. Mind you there was a lot more stuff. But this a key piece for me.
I have never married... and when presented with “my choice” of which antidepressant-doped, fat, ignorant, tattooed single mom with 4 kids by 3 ex-husbands I can provide for... it’s a bit of a turnoff to the whole concept of marriage.
Years ago, I took to heart what Dr. James Dobson said about husbands....
‘More than anything else, a husband wants respect’
Very simple concept, but like the author of this thread, I have seen women absolutely neuter their husbands publicly or privately
to other women.....
Sad
I would have terminated the transaction at that point and walked out of the shop. Might have spoken to the manager first and asked whether stereotyping of customers was common in that establishment.
This cr@p will continue for as long as it is allowed.
This “marriage” is obviously not a partnership, not a real marriage. The wife either hates her husband for some un-stated reason or, like my first mother-in-law, is on an extended power trip. If I were him, I would claim verbal abuse (with accompanying cell phone voice clips) and divorce her, taking the kids with me. The wife’s actions are also harming their children, who have become accidental victims of her comments.
Interesting perspective. There’s thing I’d point out about using TV ads to gauge cultural trends, though: Most TV ads are targeted at women, not men. For whatever reason, this even applies to TV ads for broadcasts aimed at a male-oriented audience. A perfect case in point was the Tide car in NASCAR. Tide sponsored a NASCAR team for years, and I’m certain there isn’t a single man anywhere whose family uses Tide just because his favorite driver was driving around the track in a bridge orange and yellow car with “TIDE” splashed across the hood.
It's like reading a coroner's inquest of my first marriage. I'll bet I'm not the only one here who sees it, either.
Ditto.
bookmark
what pray tell is “respect”
You are not alone, my friend. I read this and thought “He’s talking about my marriage!”
I’ve found the secret to a happy marriage, as a husband, is to be (self) respect-ABLE, have a good sense of humor, stay sociable with others, and frequently ask myself “who am I being as a husband?” (and then adjust).
Then, her side career as a Professional Contrarian goes on hiatus.
We forget that the only reason society gets away with disrespecting us is that we LET it. If companies that air such insulting ads lost all their male customers, how long do you think they’d keep airing those ads? If TV programs that insult men were loudly and consistently boycotted, how long do you think they’d remain on the air? Women alone aren’t a big enough demographic to support our entire economy. Why are we acquiescing to the destruction of our own power?
Over the years, I have always had a chuckle, when this statement is thrown out by women....and so, let a man, admit his inner feelings to his women, he will only find that during the next conflict, that the info will be used against him....any sort of male weakness, as perceived by a women, is a negative.....
Bfl
Women will correct, rant and harangue men as much as men will let them. It is part of being a Man to know when she is right and when she is just being...well...a woman. In the one case he performs adjustments to himself and in the other has says “My Immortal and Beloved Darling please STFU.
I agree wholeheartedly up until the point where he starts quoting the Bible and how women should submit to men, which is utter bullshit. Both men and women need to be completely open to each other with their feelings, which is in a way, I think a form of mutual submission.
At the end, the article continues to push a stereotype - that men are reluctant to share their feelings. Consider that the first half of the article described the common case (I lived it for many years), of wives publicly displaying passive aggressive behavior towards their husbands - interrupting, eye rolling, recounting unflattering stories, etc. Is this what counts as being communicative? Both parties need to regularly start sentences with “this is how I feel...” and “how do you feel...?”. It doesn’t matter if there’s a solution, or whether of not anything comes from it. Communication is priceless. I lived on a diet of “No”, “I don’t know”, “hmmmm”, and silence (at least in private) for almost twenty years until I said “enough”, and filed for divorce.
Now, when I’m with a group of married men, and their commiserating about the lack of sex, the steady stream of “yes dears”, and the continual tap dancing in order to avoid incurring the wrath of their wives, it pains me quite a bit. I do hold my tongue though. Everyone has to walk their own path.
You’re a brave man for posting this :-)
I’m not marriage so my struggle with this area usually manifests itself in the workplace with my attitude toward supervisors . I struggled with the passages in the New Testament about the wife respecting/submitting to their husband until the pastors showed that the word refers to “lining up under authority” (not direct quote), like an enlisted person under the NCO, under the commanding officer, who is uner the authority ultimately of God. When I have trouble with individuals in the chain of command, I have to remember that the L-rd of Hosts is completely trustworthy.
Thanks for the article.