[Leaning Right]

Funny Amazon reviews

[Leaning Right]

After you click on a product on the list, scroll down to see the reviews.

[cripplecreek]

The guardian angel sounds like fun.

Woke up this morning to find that my Guardian Angel had shattered. The inside was slimy and green. Moments later, heard a skittering sound behind some furniture. Found that during the night, phone lines had been cut, and all the doors and windows are shut with some kind of Super Glue like substance. My cell phone has been smashed. I can't get out. It didn't cut the cable internet, so I've got online to warn you, don't buy the guarslkdj;al b bbbbbbbbbbbbbb,,,,,,,,,,,wke;lj

feeling better now. Everything is fine. I will be sending a Guardian Angel to all of it's friends, family, neighbors, and associates. All humans must get one. Five stars. The most relaxing experience ever. I will never have another worry ever again after buying this product, and you will feel total fulfillment in service of a force infinitely greater than yourself. Buy it. You will never know pain after you feel the slight pinching at the back of your skull.

[PapaBear3625]

I can't believe the list left off the banana slicer:

No more winning for you, Mr. Banana!

For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. "Use a knife!" they say. Well...my parole officer won't allow me to be around knives. "Shoot it with a gun!" Background check...HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed. No longer consumed by seething anger and animosity towards thick-skinned yellow fruit, I was able to concentrate on my love of theatre and am writing a musical play about two lovers from rival gangs that just try to make it in the world. I think I'll call it South Side Story.

Banana slicer...thanks to you, I see greatness on the horizon.

[Dogbert41]

Naw, it’s the Habirno sugar free gummy bears.
http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummy-Candy-Sugarless-5-Pound/product-reviews/B000EVQWKC/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?showViewpoints=1

[a fool in paradise]

Is there a review of HUAC (Hussein’s Un-Affordable Care)?

[a fool in paradise]

Any reviews of the Michelle Obama “Let’s Move” songs album?

[Stonewall1]

By far, the sugar free gummy bears by Haribo

http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummy-Candy-Sugarless-5-Pound/dp/B000EVQWKC

[Darksheare]

None of this is my fault.

[DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis]

OMG some of those are sooooo funny. Thanks for sharing.

[Vince Ferrer]

Here is my favorite. The product review for the insanely expensive ($39,000) Samsung UN85S9 85-Inch 4K Ultra HD television.

Samsung UN85S9 85-Inch 4K Ultra HD 120Hz 3D Smart LED UHDTV (Black)

[Damifino]

I wrote a TripAdvisor review a few years ago that I still snicker about. It's for a restaurant in Tarpon Springs that is run by a few hippies that struggle with the difference between eclectic and filthy. Here's the link: My TripAdvisor Review

[MayflowerMadam]

I got a kick out of this one for NOW Psyllium Husk capsules:

“Recently I embarked on a journey for the holiest of holies. The holy grail of bowel movements, if you will: one which results in a “ghost wipe”. A wise woman once said “Nothing is as overrated as sex, and as underrated as a good bowel movement.” While I can’t completely agree with that, I will say this: These pills are saving me tens of dollars every year on toilet paper.”

[lowbridge]

What amazes me in addition to the reviews, are the products being sold on amazon in the first place.

I mean, a gallon of whole milk? Is this product listing for real? How the heck do they get that to you without it spoiling? And who buys milk this way? And at the price theyre charging? The cheapest seller us listing it at 45 bucks plus 13 for shipping. The next ones are charging 100 bucks. 100 bucks for a gallon of milk????

[La Lydia]

The Badonakadonk looks like a pregnant Dalek.

[Army Air Corps]

Humour ping.

[lulu16]

Has anyone seen the ads for Poop Pouri? It’s what you use to keep bathroom smells down. I saw the ad during one of my Korean dramas and my jaw dropped.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKLnhuzh9uY

I could not believe it was a serious product until I read the reviews on Amazon.

My husband said we could have used it when we were sharing a windowless hotel room bathroom this weekend. (I was warned not to go in.)

[ctdonath2]

I started on the link by looking at the first review of a gallon of milk.
http://www.amazon.com/review/RXXPVOUH9NLL3/ref=carldonath?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B00032G1S0&channel=detail-glance&nodeID=16310101&store=grocery

...written as a full-length spoof of Edgar Alan Poe’s “The Raven”.
The review garnered 421 comments.

Ok, I’m done. That was stark raving awesome. Time for bed.