Posted on 01/17/2014 10:15:39 AM PST by rightwingintelligentsia
First Lady Michelle Obama turns 50 today, and although the big White House celebration planned by President Obama isn’t until Saturday, that doesn’t mean you have to wait to celebrate.
If your invite to Saturday’s dance party in Washington went missing, here are 50 other ways to honor the first lady on her big day — by doing some of her favorite things, from wearing stylish dresses to eating your veggies to doing the Dougie, preferably with Jimmy Fallon.
1. Dance to Beyonce
2. Eat your vegetables
3. Move into a massive new house with your family and invite your mother to move in too
4. Work out yours arms
5. Make the cover of Vogue
6. Call the president, “Barack”
7. Plant a garden
8. Buy a Jason Wu dress
9. Drink lots of water
10. Get bangs
(Excerpt) Read more at abcnews.go.com ...
take a dump and name it Michelle
Actually it’s not. In a few places it pokes gentle fun. But it’s still an attempt at myth building. And I’m sure that plenty of other First Ladies celebrated milestone birthdays in the White House and nobody cared. I think it’s an attempt to appeal to narcissistic gen x and baby boom women who themselves go all out on their milestone birthdays. It’s also a subtle calculated attempt to underscore the wholesome Everyman middle-class ness of the first family. But if you have to keep underscoring something it’s probably a lie. And anyway, who cares?
Take a four-week vacation to Australia and charge it to 0bama voters.
3. Schedule a colonoscopy.
++++++++
She would love it as much as Bammie, he has it done daily.
The problem is all inside my hips
She said to me
The answer is making children
Work out forceably
It’s my daily purpose to see
You’re no longer free
There must be
Fifty ways to fete a Wookie
Fifty ways to fete a Wookie
She said it’s basic Liberal habit
To intrude
And since low-info voters rule now
You producers will get scrooood
And I will treat myself
Though I know you think it’s rude
There must be
Fifty ways to fete a Wookie
Fifty ways to fete a Wookie
You just launch your attack, Jack
Blame George Bush for Afghan, Stan
Let ‘em each marry their Boy Toy
You just listen to me
Make y’all ride the bus, Gus
Ain’t allowed to discuss much
Just hand over the keys, jeez!
Live your life as I please
She said it pleases me to
See you in such pain
And there is nothing you can do
Cause he don’t have to run again
And I said
Don’t appreciate that
But could you please explain
About the fifty ways?
She said just let me sleep
On top of him tonight
And then he’ll wincefully awake
And wish he’d married someone light
But then he’ll rule you
By fiat with no form of oversight
There must be
Fifty ways to fete a Wookie
Fifty ways to fete a Wookie
You just launch your attack, Jack
Blame George Bush for Afghan, Stan
Let ‘em each marry their Boy Toy
You just listen to me
Make y’all ride the bus, Gus
Ain’t allowed to discuss much
Just hand over the keys, jeez!
Live your life as I please
Clever.
You mean Barry hasn’t declared her birthday a national day of service? He’s slipping. :-)
Yep, that’s about it.
Well done.
51. “Lose” all of your guns in a “tragic boating accident.”
Take an Obama....er a dump.
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