Posted on 12/25/2013 12:31:51 PM PST by Rebelbase
12/25/13 3:15pm
(Westfield, NC) A Stokes County family's Christmas dinner erupted into a food fight that started over a disagreement about Duck Dynasty, the A&E channel's reality television show about the Robertson family.
The Watson family was at their home-place enjoying a large gathering of grand children, nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts and uncles. "Mamma does it right every year, the food is delicious" said family member Billy Watson; "It's the only time of the year when the entire family is able to gather for an afternoon".
The Duck Dynasty controversy came up in conversation at the table while the family was enjoying a meal of ham, turkey, roast, pork roast, country steak, sausage balls, BBQ, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, macaroni and cheese, fried jowls, fried corn, fried chicken livers, green beans, lima beans, beets, collards, cabbage, chow-chow, cranberries, biscuits, cornbread, Pepsi and iced tea.
"One of the nephews, Bobby Fulp, married a woman from Massachusetts and they live in Boston; She thinks mighty of herself and has one of those hyphenated last names", according to Betty-Sue Watson who is Billy's wife. She continued, "The duck show came up and we all thought Mr. Robertson didn't say anything hateful and thought it funny how worked up people were getting over truthful comments. Bobby's wife took offense and called us homophones. I said I guess the truth hurts, don't it? and she wouldn't look at me. I said it again and she still wouldn't look at me. That's when I flicked a piece of biscuit at her to get her attention and all hell broke loose".
"Food was flyin' everywhere. It was almost funny until Mamma got hit in the face with mashed potatoes and gravy. Everyone stopped and Mamma just sat there for a moment with gravy dripping off her glasses. She took off the glasses and her face squished up and we all knew it was coming, she busted out crying and all of us felt horrible for ruining the meal she worked so hard to prepare".
"For a large family, we all get along just fine, except for Bobby's wife. She thinks she's better than everyone else and has Bobby wrapped around so tight we all say he's cross-eyed".
The food fight almost sparked blows between Billy Watson and his cousin Bobby Fulp as Betty-Sue Watson relates, "Billy called Bobby's wife a Yankee bitch and Bobby got riled".
The two were separated by family members and things settled down enough for the family to enjoy deserts of banana pudding, apple pie, pecan pie, peach cobbler, blackberry cobbler, Jello, chocolate meringue pie, lemon meringue pie, brownies, coconut macaroons, cheesecake, red velvet cake, fruitcake, cookies, ice-cream, cinnamon rolls, Pepsi, coffee and iced tea.
exactly
The entire components of the story setting are drawn from my experience with one close family in NC and every item on the menu is present within consecutive Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s meals.
Betty-Sue cuts my hair.
Why are you so incredulous of redneck country life in the South?
since I am one of those rednecks that you like to poke fun at, you should check yourself before making claims you can’t back
You should try my Jamie.
Noting worse than a sensitive redneck.
You betcha,
You go flingin carrot or spargas spears, you could POKE SOMEONES EYE OUT!
(Its all fun n games till some one loses an eye!)
I KNOW I’m a redneck, I cook my sausage n eggs breakfast on the grill outback.
yeah well I guess Appalachia ain’t rural enough for you
well said
Very funny story. Thanks! I grew up further south than most of the “south” through the ‘60s and into the ‘70s (but nowhere near NC). And yes, back there and then, in 100 degree temperatures with around 100% humidity, we simply said “tea” (nearly always large, glass glasses of instant tea with sugar and much ice). The home cooking for some holidays was huge, but we would never consider throwing food or uttering any vulgarity. And the word, yankee, was mentioned in books about the Civil War—very rarely by any person (except teachers, reading aloud to classes, and television sets). “Snow bird” was heard from real people upon rare occasion.
Rednecks make a joke out of every trouble.
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