"I got a book...!"
Posted on 12/05/2013 9:50:46 AM PST by Attention Surplus Disorder
NEW YORK – Reverend Al Sharpton’s new book, “The Rejected Stone: Al Sharpton and the Path to American Leadership” appears to be on an unshakable trajectory to success, according to its author. Since its release less than 30 days ago the revered civil rights leader’s long awaited memoir has already sold 18 copies. A spokesperson at Sharpton’s publisher, Simon and Schuster, said the company wasn’t the least bit surprised at the book’s sales numbers.
Political activist and singer, Barbra Streisand, held a book release party for Sharpton at her Malibu estate over the weekend. Streisand gushed that Sharpton is “a selfless African American clergyman who’s transformed himself into a normal person by indiscriminately destroying the lives of privileged white people.” Streisand went onto say she and Sharpton will be recording a duet of the Amy Winehouse hit ‘Back to Black’ in an effort to raise money to help pay for Sharpton’s back taxes.
Comedian Bill Maher arrived at the party with a bag of medical marihuana and an attractive African American prostitute on his arm. “Reverend Al really knows how to stick it to Whitey and Hispanics who are white,” Maher remarked after the party. “I’m just hoping he takes me out for a nice dinner before he sticks it to me.”
Cher attended the party with her new son, Chaz. Unable to move her mouth because of massive Botox injections earlier in the day, Cher’s sentiments were conveyed by Chaz.
“Mom feels that Reverend Sharpton is a national treasure. She still gets emotional when she hears his ‘I Have a Dream’ speech.”
And Reverend Jesse Jackson appeared on Sharpton’s radio show yesterday sounding enthusiastic about Sharpton’s new book. No one was able to interpret what he actually said, but it sounded enthusiastic.
Last night Al Sharpton was interviewed by Piers Morgan on CNN. Following is a transcript of their conversation.
piers morgan 1024x682 Al Sharptons New Book Sells Over a Dozen Copies in Less Than a MonthPIERS MORGAN: I welcome Al Sharpton to my show.
AL SHARPTON: You may call me Reverend.
PIERS MORGAN: Of course, Reverend. My mistake.
AL SHARPTON: No mistake taken.
PIERS MORGAN: Congratulations on the success of your new book. Over a dozen copies in just a few weeks!
AL SHARPTON: My publisher told me the sales of the book have far preceded his exterminations.
PIERS MORGAN: You have your own show on MSNBC, a daily radio show and now a best selling book. At what point is enough enough?
AL SHARPTON: When you fight for justice and equilibrium there never comes a time when enough is enough. Enough is enough when there is no more nuff.
PIERS MORGAN: I’ve been told you were hoping a civil rights issue might coincide with the release of your book?
AL SHARPTON: We were keeping our fingers crossed for a murder or rape somewhere.
PIERS MORGAN: You’re referring to an African American being raped or murdered by a white man?
AL SHARPTON: Unfortunately there have not been any.
PIERS MORGAN: Does it disappoint you that more whites aren’t killing and raping African Americans?
AL SHARPTON: Well, let’s just say it would help with book sales.
PIERS MORGAN: Yet even without a white on black crime for you to sensationalize your book has sold over a dozen copies in just a few weeks.
AL SHARPTON: It’s like this, Percy, when I de-lice people to rise up and demand justice it creates opportunities for me to make a few bucks.
298 october 25 2013 1024 Al Sharptons New Book Sells Over a Dozen Copies in Less Than a MonthPIERS MORGAN: Barbra Streisand held a book release party for you at her Malibu estate. That’s pretty exciting.
AL SHARPTON: Yes, it was. Mrs. Streisand said I was the first African American in her house. Hell, I didn’t find out until after the party was over that she’s a Jew.
PIERS MORGAN: So what are your plans now, Reverend?
AL SHARPTON: I’ll probably just go back home unless you know of something to do.
PIERS MORGAN: I mean, what’s your next big career move? Will you be running for president in 2016?
AL SHARPTON: It’s too soon to be delubricating a run for president. As you said, I’m a busy man and I’m making lots of money. Plus I have a new young girlfriend who keeps me busy, if you know what I’m sayin’.
PIERS MORGAN: (coughs) Uh, in your book you say it took time, maturity and growth for you to transform into the kind of leader who had the discipline to control yourself and your emotions.
AL SHARPTON: That was in my book?
PIERS MORGAN: You don’t recall that statement?
Al Sharptons New Book Sells Over a Dozen Copies in Less Than a MonthAL SHARPTON: I’m waiting for the big print edition to come out before I read what I wrote.
PIERS MORGAN: Reverend, how significant is your relationship with God in your day to day life?
AL SHARPTON: You make it sound like we’re dating.
PIERS MORGAN: What I mean is, does your faith play a role in your activities?
AL SHARPTON: (snickers) My girlfriend likes us to role-play that she’s Mrs. Obama and I’m an escaped convict, but we haven’t played any Bible characters yet.
(Al Sharpton looks into the camera)
AL SHARPTON: And remember kids, always use a progalactic.
PIERS MORGAN: That’s all the time we have tonight. Thanks for joining us, Reverend.
AL SHARPTON: My pleasure, Percy.
How many of those did Sharpton himself buy? It is hard to imagine even 18 people being that stupid.
The reviews are in on Sharpton’s new book!
“I predict that it will be a best seller!” - Bob The Wino
“A must read!” - Hugo Chavez
“Sure to join the ranks of such classics as IN MY COLON and 50 WAYS TO BOIL SPAGHETTI!” - Pee Wee Herman
“I couldn’t put it down!” - Whoever’s Running North Korea
“With his new book, whatever it’s called, Al Sharpton proves once again that those writing skills he honed spray painting ‘EAT S**T HONKY’ on railroad cars prepared him for literary greatness!” - Jesse Jackson
I checked to see if this was written by John Semmens.
I am guessing Sharpton has 12 bathrooms and that is where those copies are housed.
A dozen copies...? LMAO!
Just sayin...
How in hell could anyone withstand the wit and wisdom of Al Sharpton in a book?
Bishop Sharpton is a sterling example of why America is in deep shit!
lol
WOW, 18 copies!!! That’s like a dollar in royalties for each one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There must have been a lot of birdcages that needed repapering.
"I got a book...!"
From my English Literature class days ... a great instructor ... “There is no defense against satire”
.....
I realize that this is satire because he works hard to keep his base illiterate, so he wouldn’t write a book - he’d record a rap album.
Woohoo! It’ll be on the New York Times Best Seller List by Christmas.
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