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1 posted on 11/26/2013 6:24:36 AM PST by Gamecock
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To: Larry Lucido; F15Eagle
Not only that, but Santa is a Commie!


2 posted on 11/26/2013 6:25:12 AM PST by Gamecock (If you like your constitution, you can keep your constitution. Period. (M.S.))
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To: Gamecock

I, for one, must see evidence of the niblets groped by the Santa Letch.


3 posted on 11/26/2013 6:25:33 AM PST by Gaffer
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To: Gamecock

When I was a kid, all the elfs were young kids, 8 or 9 yrs old. Now they are 18 year old girls?


5 posted on 11/26/2013 6:30:14 AM PST by Zuben Elgenubi (NOPe to GOPe)
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To: Gamecock

Picture of elf? Just to see if Santa gets hell from the Mrs’s when he gets back to the NP.


6 posted on 11/26/2013 6:30:19 AM PST by duckman (I'm part of the group pulling the wagon!)
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To: Gamecock

7 posted on 11/26/2013 6:31:58 AM PST by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
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To: Gamecock

Unless she can show a bruise, there is not enough evidence. The other lady’s comments are really not enough to corroborate what the elf is saying. It’s really still just one witness, as in, “he said, she said”.


8 posted on 11/26/2013 6:32:49 AM PST by cuban leaf
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To: Gamecock
Bad Santa!


9 posted on 11/26/2013 6:33:16 AM PST by Vaquero (Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.)
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To: Gamecock

When I played a too tall Santa at Nashville’s Church Street Center I resisted the temptation to pinch the girl elf but I did scold one for refusing to wear her antler headband.


11 posted on 11/26/2013 6:34:25 AM PST by Monterrosa-24 (q)
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To: Gamecock

Ho, ho, ho indeed.


12 posted on 11/26/2013 6:37:41 AM PST by NohSpinZone (First thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers)
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To: Gamecock
Free on $1000 bail, Jones is next due in court on Christmas Eve on the felony count.

Was this done on purpose? Ordering Santa to appear in court on Christmas Eve?

14 posted on 11/26/2013 6:41:09 AM PST by SamAdams76
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To: Gamecock

Maybe Santa was just looking for a little hoe,hoe,hoe!


16 posted on 11/26/2013 6:47:22 AM PST by Mastador1 (I'll take a bad dog over a good politician any day!)
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To: Gamecock

Maybe Santa was just looking for a little hoe,hoe,hoe!


17 posted on 11/26/2013 6:49:17 AM PST by Mastador1 (I'll take a bad dog over a good politician any day!)
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To: Gamecock

In the old days Santa used to be satisfied with cookies and a glass of milk.


19 posted on 11/26/2013 6:50:49 AM PST by Uncle Chip
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To: Gamecock

22 posted on 11/26/2013 6:53:59 AM PST by UCANSEE2 (The monsters are due on Maple Street)
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To: Gamecock

23 posted on 11/26/2013 7:02:47 AM PST by Kip Russell (Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors -- and miss. ---Robert A. Heinlein)
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To: Gamecock

You smell like beef and cheese!!!


24 posted on 11/26/2013 7:11:12 AM PST by joethedrummer
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To: Gamecock
*snicker*
MERRY! MERRY! ...CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

27 posted on 11/26/2013 7:49:02 AM PST by skinkinthegrass (The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun..0'Caligula / 0'Reid / 0'Pelosi 8-)
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To: Gamecock

I always figured Santa had his own way with the elves. After all, up in the North Pole, where can you file a sexual harassment complaint!


28 posted on 11/26/2013 8:23:02 AM PST by steelhead_trout (MYOB)
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To: Gamecock

a felony out of pinching? seems a little over the top.


29 posted on 11/26/2013 8:47:43 AM PST by TexasFreeper2009 (Obama lied .. the economy died.)
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To: Gamecock

Laraine Newman: I’m next!

Dan Aykroyd: [ laughing ] Are you sure you want to do this?

Laraine Newman: Sure! You know, I mean it’s crazy, this time of year does something to me, I feel like a little kid!

Dan Aykroyd: Make it quick, though - we’ve got a lot of shopping to do.

Laraine Newman: Oh, don’t be such a Scrooge. Where’s your spirit?

[ little girl steps off Santa’s lap and heads off ]

Mall Santa: Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas, everybody!

Laraine Newman: I’ll only be a minute.

Dan Aykroyd: Sure.

[ as Laraine steps up to Santa Claus, she unrolls some toilet paper which she proceeds to place around his lap ]

Dan Aykroyd: Hey, wait a minute! What are you doing?

Laraine Newman: Relax! I said I’ll only be a minute..

Dan Aykroyd: What is this?

Laraine Newman: It’s for protection.

Dan Aykroyd: Toilet tissue?! You mean, you haven’t heard of Santi-Wrap? [ holds up red and green colored toilet seat protection sheet ] Sure.. Santi-Wrap - the colorful, decorative and hygienic way to protect yourself from germs carried by the likes of a part-time Santa Claus.

Mall Santa: [ drinking from a bottle of alcohol ] Ho ho ho..

Dan Aykroyd: Look, he’s so jolly, he’s smart, he knows if you’ve been sleeping - but do you know where he’s been sleeping?

Laraine Newman: [ sits up with a stir ] Oh, my goodness!

Dan Aykroyd: That’s just it, Look, Laraine - I love Santa just as much as anybody else, but, December 26th, Noel over here goes back to the Y.

Mall Santa: [ drinking from a bottle of alcohol ] Ho ho ho..

Laraine Newman: But won’t toilet paper protect me?

Dan Aykroyd: Two-ply? Never. Not these germs. Let me show you.

[ show image of Santa’s bare leg ]

Dan Aykroyd: This is a picture of Santa’s leg. Seems normal. But look at the same picture magnified under a microscope.

[ show circular close-up of tiny little men sitting on a street corner, with little hairs surrounding the lens ]

Laraine Newman: Are those Santa’s helpers?

Dan Aykroyd: Yes, those are Santa’s helpers. And they’re communicable. Now, will you stop using the two-ply?

Laraine Newman: What a fool I’ve been! [ replaces her toilet paper with one Santi-Wrap sheet and sits ] Okay.. I want a car, and a refigerator, and -

Dan Aykroyd: Use Santi-Wrap, and I promise you won’t get one tick.. from jolly St. Nick.

Mall Santa: [ drinking from a bottle of alcohol ] Ho ho ho.. ho.. ho ho..


30 posted on 11/26/2013 8:51:51 AM PST by dfwgator (Fire Muschamp.)
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