Posted on 10/31/2013 8:09:10 AM PDT by MrChips
In a move certain to delight most of official Washington, D.C., it has been decided to change the name of the Washington Redskins football franchise to the Washington Reds. President Obama, himself, voiced his approval of the decision, as did Harry Reid, who was practically giddy upon hearing the news. The stadium will be painted red, in keeping with the new name, and its own name will be changed to Red Stadium. All players who play for the Reds, as well as all Red staff, Red cheerleaders, and Red coaches, will be asked to pay a 60% surtax on their exorbitant salaries and to divest of their pension plans entirely in order to share their wealth more equitably with all of the people of the District of Columbia. Any profit-sharing from games played by the Reds will be placed into the general coffers at Treasury Department and administered by Jack Lew.
Ticket prices are expected to rise, to cover the cost of painting the stadium red, but also because all seating in the stadium is expected to go for the same price in an effort to ensure equality and fairness, although one section of free seats on the 50-yard line is being reserved for members of Congress and select people who work for the Obama administration. There will, of course, be a presidential box with red seats. An account of the new pricing policy, some have expressed concern that the stadium might not fill up as easily on Sundays. However, the former owners of the Reds (now called “Ministers”) have announced that they are establishing an online marketplace where tickets can more easily be sold through “exchanges.” A Canadian company has been hired to take charge of the effort.
This was funny...
Although, and quite ironic, the Washington Redskins play in a stadium that is fully privately owned...not taxpayer owned like most NFL stadiums. Redskins owner Dan Snyder also owns FedEx Field...and why the Redskins are the most expensive NFL franchise
Lots of Reds already there. Perfect name. Maybe Stalin will be on some merchandise?
Both are sad.
Nice work there!
No, they CANNOT rename it to "Reds." Red-heads everywhere are being maligned in the process! It's bad enough we're called "Gingers" and have to suffer through "beat up a Ginger day" isn't it?
I'm filing a federallawsuit -- all Red's are welcome to join in!
(/humor)
PS - your post was exceptionally well done!)
LEAN FORWARD= BEND OVER
Everyone wants to be Quarterback, no one the Center
Maybe they can call the stadium “Red Circle”.
OK, somebody’s got to say it: wouldn’t the Washington Blacks be more appropriate, however politically incorrect?
It's a small world, after all
It's a small world, after all...
"The Gulag" would be a great nickname for the stadium
The American Redskins!
The stadium will be surrounded by a huge wall that will prevent fans from leaving after the game.
Now there’s a thought. I doubt they would go for it though. They’ll hold out for “Native Americans.”
HAIL TO THE COMRADES
HAIL VICTORY
COMRADES ON THE WARPATH
FIGHT AGAINST LIBERTY!
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ping
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