Posted on 08/30/2013 10:57:35 AM PDT by Rebelbase
BULLS GAP A theft charge is pending against a Hawkins County woman who allegedly stole $5,000 from her boyfriend and was then hospitalized for injuries suffered attempting to remove the cash from her hiding place.
Around 1 a.m. Tuesday, the Hawkins County Sheriff's Office was dispatched to the home of Bobby Gulley, 249 North Ridge Road, Bulls Gap, on a complaint that his girlfriend was stealing from him.
Gulley told HCSO Sgt. Michael Allen hed set a trap for Christie Black, 43, also of that address, by placing two envelopes containing $4,000 and $1,000 in $100 bills in an old medicine bag.
The medicine bag was then placed on a foosball table and Gully went to bed.
Gulley said that when he woke up, he noticed Black was still awake, but the medicine bag and cash were missing.
When Gulley confronted Black with the theft, Black reportedly vomited up a baggy containing partially dissolved pills.
He then asked her where the money was, and she admitted to him shed wrapped it up and stuck it in her rectum, Allen stated in his report. Black admitted (to Allen) to taking the money and medication because Mr. Gulley was going to kick her out and she needed money for a place to live.
Allen said Black attempted to remove the cash with a toilet brush and tongs but was unsuccessful.
She was bleeding severely and was transported to the Hawkins County (Memorial Hospital) emergency room, Allen said. The wad of money was removed and collected as evidence.
An arrest warrant has been issued for Black charging her with theft over $1,000, but as of Thursday afternoon the warrant hadnt been served because she is still hospitalized.
As of Thursday afternoon, she remained listed in fair condition at Holston Valley Medical Center.
I hope she was going to launder the money.
Rectum? Darn near killed ‘um!
And this took place in Bulls Gap???
The line about a toilet brush and tongs is too much.
I guess the ENDS justify the means or all is well that ENDS well.
What an ***hole!
just when you thought you read everything before
I was hoping we could keep this one contained.
Dirty filthy money.
“I’ll take moronic stupidity for $5,000, Alex”
Going to play “Dueling Banjos” in honor of this story...
That for Georgia - not Tennessee
Not a chance. The Kingsport Times News is better entertainment than the Onion.
Everyone remind me when the movie version of this story comes out to avoid it.
LOL! You know that a headline like this could NEVER, EVER be contained!
Looking forward to some good Freeper puns, though!
Hope it was in Benjamins and not pennies. Oweeeee!
I know it. I actually saw it early this morning. I was a little tempted to post, but as I said, I had hopes it might slide by unnoticed. Alas.
I don't know what to say about that...
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