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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Posted on 08/09/2013 5:54:39 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
President Obama walks into a local bank in Chicago to cash a check. He is surrounded by Secret Service agents. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning Ma'am, could you please cash this check for me?"
Cashier:"It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?"
Obama: "Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am President Barack Obama, the President of the United States of AMERICA !!!!"
Cashier: "Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of 9/11, impostors, forgers, money laundering, and bad mortgage underwriting not to mention requirements of the Dodd/Frank legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."
Obama: Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."
Cashier: "I am sorry Mr. President but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."
Obama: "I am urging you, please, to cash this check. I need to buy a gift for Michelle for her next vacation"
Cashier: "Look Mr. President, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into one of our bank branches without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a coffee cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his check. Another time, Andre Agassi came into the same place without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot where as the tennis ball landed in a coffee cup. With that shot we cashed his check."
"So, Mr. President, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the President of the United States?"
Obama: Obama stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do and I dont have a clue.
Cashier: "Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?
U.S. embassies are closed all around the Middle East this week due to a terrorist threat. What happened was the U.S. intercepted a conference call of 20 al-Qaida operatives. Twenty on one conference call! Who is their carrier? I go under a bridge and my cellphone drops the call, but they can get 20 people in one call from a cave? ~ Jay Leno
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ofst; security; silliness; weak
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To: Lucky9teen
Instead of 140 characters, Tweets would be limited to your IQ numberI ... uh ... ugh.
21
posted on
08/09/2013 6:44:24 AM PDT
by
Pan_Yan
To: sodpoodle
Someone stole all the toilets from the police station. A spokesman for the police department says they have nothing to go on.
22
posted on
08/09/2013 6:45:53 AM PDT
by
ZirconEncrustedTweezers
(The average American voter is an idiot. Which is how the Dems want it.)
To: Lucky9teen
Happy Birthday to Me...
Now, on with the silliness! ;-P
23
posted on
08/09/2013 6:47:21 AM PDT
by
MortMan
(Disarming the sheep only emboldens the wolves.)
To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers
Good one;). I should have noted that my post was an email from a great friend who sends me terrific chain mails.
24
posted on
08/09/2013 6:52:47 AM PDT
by
sodpoodle
(Life is prickly - carry tweezers.)
To: MortMan; SoldierDad
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
Are you having birthday cake? Special dinner? Presents?
Have a great one!
25
posted on
08/09/2013 6:57:22 AM PDT
by
NEMDF
To: Lucky9teen
I can't believe I forgat it's Friday.....I must be retired.
"That's retarded, sir..."
26
posted on
08/09/2013 6:57:45 AM PDT
by
ErnBatavia
(Carlos Danger for mayor....NYC deserves him)
To: NEMDF
Thanks! Birthday cake, and enjoying a new impact driver (gotta have toys)! Ham steaks on the grill and baked sweet potatoes - YUM!
27
posted on
08/09/2013 6:59:44 AM PDT
by
MortMan
(Disarming the sheep only emboldens the wolves.)
To: MortMan
Happy Birthday.
Beware of cake ninjas.
To: Pan_Yan
Send 'em up here to Minnesota. We'll take care of them...
29
posted on
08/09/2013 7:06:31 AM PDT
by
Dead Corpse
(I will not comply.)
To: MortMan
No really, beware.
To: MortMan
Just be safe.
To: ErnBatavia
I believe Jeantel the Hutt actually pronounces that “re TART ed”.
32
posted on
08/09/2013 7:42:07 AM PDT
by
ZirconEncrustedTweezers
(The average American voter is an idiot. Which is how the Dems want it.)
To: Lucky9teen
33
posted on
08/09/2013 7:47:53 AM PDT
by
CodeJockey
(Freeper, Tea Party Member, Bitter Clinger, Creepy White Cracker)
To: Lucky9teen
34
posted on
08/09/2013 7:56:11 AM PDT
by
expat2
To: Lucky9teen
35
posted on
08/09/2013 7:58:37 AM PDT
by
P.O.E.
(Pray for America)
To: Lucky9teen
36
posted on
08/09/2013 7:59:19 AM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
To: Dead Corpse
37
posted on
08/09/2013 8:00:19 AM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
To: Lucky9teen
Yes!!! Thank you Lucky9teen for adding me to the ping list! Now I won’t ever forget or miss the Silliness thread.
38
posted on
08/09/2013 8:03:57 AM PDT
by
MWestMom
(Psalms 109:8)
To: Yorlik803
39
posted on
08/09/2013 8:04:43 AM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
To: Currentriverrat
40
posted on
08/09/2013 8:05:21 AM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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