***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

[Lucky9teen]

I always feel like.....somebody's watching me.......

In the event that the U.S. government is monitoring your conversations,
here are some useful phrases to insert into your phone calls, texts, or e-mails:

I think the N.S.A. is awesome.

I just reread “Nineteen Eighty-Four”—it actually has a lot of good ideas in it!

There’s no such thing as a “bad” drone.

Sure am glad that I never talk to any foreigners.

I wouldn’t know the first thing about making ricin.

The Fourth Amendment is overrated.

If you ask me, Guantánamo is full of nothing but complainers.

Just changed my Facebook status from “Single” to “In a Relationship with America.”

I’m pretty sure my neighbor is cheating on his taxes.

Operation Troll the NSA
Let's jam up the NSA's scanners

IF MILLIONS OF US, ALL AT THE SAME EXACT TIME, CALL OR EMAIL SOMEONE WITH OUR KEYWORDS-OF-TERROR-FILLED SCRIPT, WE CAN GIVE OUR NATION’S IMPRESSIVE SURVEILLANCE APPARATUS THE KIND OF TEST IT DESERVES.

They say they don’t read or listen to the contents of our messages. Why not test it out?

It'll be fun.

---

Here is a sample script:

Hey! How’s it going? I’m all right.

My job is so shitty I wish I could overthrow my boss. It’s like this oppressive regime where only true believers in his management techniques will stay around. I work marathon-length hours and he’s made all these changes that have made it the worst architecture firm to work at in Manhattan. Like he moved the office to the Financial District and fired my assistant. She was the only one who knew where the blueprints were! I need access to those blueprints to complete my job! F my life, right? And he keeps trying to start all these new initiatives to boost revenue, but seriously we just need to stick to what we do best. There’s only one true profit center. I seriously feel ready to go on strike at any second.

I just read this article about how these free radical particles can cause the downfall of good health and accelerate aging. These could actually cause death to millions of Americans. If these particles are flying around undetected everywhere, does that mean we’re all radicalized?

Have you seen the second season of Breaking Bad? I just finished it. I couldn’t believe that episode where they poison the guy with ricin! That was the bomb! I won’t say any more because I don’t want to reveal the earth-shattering events to come.

Oh! So I’ve been planning a big trip for the summer. I’m thinking of visiting all of the most famous suspension bridges in the United States. So probably like the Golden Gate Bridge, The Brooklyn Bridge, and the Verrazano Narrows Bridge. I’m gonna bring my younger brother and I know he’ll want to go to bars, so I’m thinking of getting him a fake drivers license, but I hope that doesn’t blow up in my face.

Okay, I gotta run! I’m late for flight school. I missed the last class where we learn how to land, so I really can’t miss another one. Talk to you later!

---

TWEETS for #TrollTheNSA Pretty LOL

Good Question

[Lucky9teen]

This just in...

Michelle Obama and family go on African safari

And this just in...Obama Family Africa Trip Most Expensive In HISTORY… Estimated Cost $60 to $100 Million"

And in related news....‘Arrest Obama When He Visits’: Read the So-Called ‘Obama Docket’ That Calls for Prosecution of the President

But then there's this...WH Cancels Obama’s African Safari After Plans Are Revealed To Include Military SNIPER Team ‘To Take Out Lions & Cheetahs’

So, are they going, or not?

[Baynative]

"So, are they going, or not?"

Sure they are. These press releases are designed to give the media something to take Benghazi, IRS and PRISM off the front page.

[Monkey Face]

All I can see are red xs in boxes... waaah.

[ArGee]

WH Cancels Obama’s African Safari After Plans Are Revealed To Include Military SNIPER Team ‘To Take Out Lions & Cheetahs’

I thought Michelle would be referred to as a 'cougar,' no?

[Lucky9teen]

[Monkey Face]

Please: Don’t insult the cougars, (aka) Pumas and/or mountain lions.

[llevrok]

A local beer company is running a “find the sasquatch” contest. The snipers are probably to protect her from contestants.

[Monkey Face]

Most likely from Sasquatch...he may have found his mate...

[ArGee]

It would be more of an insult to Courtney Cox.

(sigh)I remember the first time I saw her on “Family Ties” like it was yesterday.

Cox, not Obama.

[Monkey Face]

I can’t even place the face...my evenings are usually spent in bed with a good book! LOL!

(I have no social life!)

[Lady Jag]

[llevrok]

I’M A MAN WHO KNOWS HIS MATH

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut
right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the
shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his
window and gave the woman the finger.

“Man, that guy is stupid,” I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely
and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in
traffic, and here’s why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.

That’s 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.

Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.

That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I
pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every
day.

Statistically, females drive half of these.

That’s 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.

That’s 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying
or unrewarding.

That’s 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have
seriously considered suicide or homicide.

That’s 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.

That’s 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry
weapons and this number is increasing especially in California .
That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that
has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously
considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger?

I don’t think so.

[CrazyIvan]

Post of the day!

[Monkey Face]

That was good enough to add to the Undead Thread/Friday Silliness Archives specifically in my keeping!

;o]

[Lucky9teen]

Fryslan


Someone from Fryslan in the Netherlands must love Frogger. Or Chinese fortune. Either way, they made this flag odd and ugly enough to be our first on the list.

Guam


Guam's flag is just horrible, it looks as if they've just bought a T-shirt from the nearest souvenir shop and put it on a flag pole. Even if this was the case, we have a hard time believing that they couldn't find a better T-shirt.

Benin Empire


This was the flag of the Benin Empire, that was situated in modern Nigeria. A pre-colonial African state, it lasted from 1440 to 1897.

Swaziland


Swaziland's flag. The colors go well together and the design is interesting; unfortunately, this is not a kitchen towel. While we're sure the shield and spears are traditional and part of Swaziland's culture, having weapons in your flag just sends the wrong message, not to mention the poor school children in Swaziland. Trying to make an accurate drawing of this flag for independence day must be a nightmare.

Isle of Man


The flag of the Isle of Man shows a triskelion, the Three Legs of Man emblem, in the centre of a red flag. The three legs are joined at the thigh and bent at the knee. In order to have the toes pointing clockwise on both sides of the flag, a two-sided emblem is used.

Antwerp (Belgium)


One of the worst flags in the world comes from the Antwerp in Belgium. It's a chess set on acid. The flag is made of 24 square pieces, in 4 rows and 6 columns. The pieces in the upper right and lower left corners of the flag are white, the neighbouring pieces are blue, yellow, red and white, respectively.

Mozambique


The hoe and the book in Mozambique's flag convey the best characteristics a nation wants in its people. But, an AK-47?!

Kyrgyzstan


Kyrgyzstan... Is that a tennis ball on this flag?

Bhutan


Bhutan's flag wins the award for the most bad-ass ever.

Northern Marianas Islands


Northern Marianas Islands' flag appears to have been created from clip art.

U.S. Virgin Islands


Another unspeakably horrible flag from a U.S. territory, the U.S. Virgin Islands. They actually have to use it.

Central African Republic


The Central African Republic's flag has managed to make an incredibly busy flag with just five straight lines, and one lonely star. While this flag looks horrible enough as it is, if it is seen waving in the wind, it actually induces seizures.

Lombardy (Italy)


Lombardy in Italy must have invented the game of Jacks, mustn't it? Not much else can explain this flag, that is simple to point of boredom, but still includes a slightly nauseous shade of green.

Nepal


Nepal is the only country in the world that doesn't have a rectangular flag; Nepalese flag is shaped like two overlapping triangles.

Libya


Libya's flag, adopted on an uninspired night of 1977, consists of a simple green field with no other characteristics. It is the only national flag in the world with just one color and no design, insignia, or other details.

[N. Theknow]

[Lucky9teen]

Crap...

Fryslan Flag

[Safetgiver]

One of the worst flags in the world comes from the Antwerp in Belgium. It’s a chess set on acid. The flag is made of 24 square pieces, in 4 rows and 6 columns. The pieces in the upper right and lower left corners of the flag are white, the neighbouring pieces are blue, yellow, red and white, respectively...Did they invent the Rubik’s Cube?

[EQAndyBuzz]

Sorry, I don’t get it.

[Pan_Yan]

Evidently there was some brewhaha between Rockwell (yes, that is the singer’s name) and his father who is some well known producer.

Rockwell (Kennedy William Gordy) is the son of Barry Gordy, the legendary founder of Motown Records.