[Lucky9teen]

What My Mother Taught Me

My mother taught me LOGIC... "If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."

My mother taught me MEDICINE... "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."

My mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD... "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"

My mother taught me ESP... "Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"

My mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE... "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"

My mother taught me HUMOR... "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT... "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.

My mother taught me ABOUT SEX... "How do you think you got here?"

My mother taught me about GENETICS... "You are just like your father!"

My mother taught me about my ROOTS... "Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE... "When you get to be my age, you will understand."

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION... "Just wait until your father gets home."

My mother taught me about RECEIVING... "You are going to get it when we get home."

And my all time favorite thing--JUSTICE... "One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU... then you'll see what it's like."

[JRios1968]

FIRST!!!

[rktman]

Junior Hoarders of America has some openings.

[Lucky9teen]

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CLEAN UP

FOR


CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST

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Sorry it's late...I'm a mother, what can you expect?

[Walmartian]

NB410

[Olog-hai]

Just don't get ’em so much stuff. If anything, get them books.

[RandallFlagg]

Running a little late today?
I was starting to worry...

[llevrok]

You gotta love such a thoughtful mom

[Rummyfan]

TOP TEN!!!!

[Baynative]

[martin_fierro]

[llevrok]

You’re “late” ?
Rabbit test time.....

[Twotone]

My darling, being the romantic sort she is, just sent me a text..

If you are sleeping, send me your dreams
If you are laughing, send me your smile
If you are eating, send me a bite
If you are drinking, send me a sip
If you are crying, send me your tears
I love you

I replied...
I’m taking a dump. What should I do?

[sunny48]

“Gnat” shooting -RC Planes and Shotguns!
http://youtu.be/CLLAKnVej9o

[RetSignman]

[RedMDer]

The Coasters - Yakety Yak

[Old Sarge]

THAT'S NOT RIGHT!

[N. Theknow]

[Monkey Face]

IN! (Finally. It’s a melt-down day.)

[diamond6]

First I have to say that I love these threads, and,
I LOVE the pole dancing picture. It had me in tears!

[Linda Frances]

The Fence Test

You can’t get any more accurate than this!

This is straight forward country thinking.

by Jeff Foxworthy

Which side of the political fence are you on?

If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!

If a Republican doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.

If a Democrat doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.

If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.

If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.

If a Democrat is down-and-out he wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a Republican doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.

A Democrat demands that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.

A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.

If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.

If a Democrat decides he needs health care, he demands that the rest of us pay for his.

(E-mail)

If a Republican reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.

A Democrat will delete it because they’re “offended”.