World Press Freedom Day
When: Always on May 3rd
Posted on 05/03/2013 5:53:41 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Edited on 05/03/2013 8:43:38 AM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]
When: Always on May 3rd
World Press Freedom Day recognizes the value of freedom of expression, and the sacrifices journalist have made to attain this freedom. It was created, and is sponsored, by the United Nations. While we enjoy this freedom in the United States, freedom of the press, and freedom of expression, is not a given right in many countries.
Each year, UNESCO awards the UNESCO/Guillermo Cano World Press Freedom Prize to someone who has made a major contribution towards journalistic freedom.
World Press Freedom Day activities include UN sponsored conferences and seminars on this issue. Teachers are encouraged to create lesson plans. As individuals, we can learn more about the issues. And, we can support efforts to further freedom of the press.
A Harley Biker is riding by the zoo in Washington, DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.
The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event.
The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, ‘Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I’ve seen a man do in my whole life.’
The Harley rider replies, ‘Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.’
The reporter says, ‘Well, I’ll make sure this won’t go unnoticed. I’m a journalist, you know, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page… So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?’
The biker replies, I’m a U.S. Marine and a Republican
The journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:
A journalist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the journalist. "How about the good job Obama is doing, even though the Republicans are blocking everything he wants to do and Conservatives keep saying the government is out to get them?" as he smiled smugly.
"Okay," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"
The journalist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss Obama, Republicans, Conservatives or what the government is up to, when you don't know shit?"
And then she went back to reading her book.
When a visitor to a small town in Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands.
A reporter saw the incident, congratulated the man and told him the headline the following day would read, "Valiant Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal."
The hero told the journalist that he wasn't from that town.
"Well, then," the reporter said, "the headline will probably say, 'Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing Dog'."
"Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut."
"In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline should read, 'Yankee Kills Family Pet'.
George W. Bush is seen crossing the Potomac river on foot.
The Washington Post : "President Bush crosses the Potomac River".
The Washington Time : "Bush's conservative approach saves taxpayers a boat".
Mother Jones : "Bush can't swim".
How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb?
Three
One to report that the Electric Company hired a light bulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place
One to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness
And one to win a Pulitzer prize for reporting it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people.
A Soviet journalist walks into the hospital and tells the desk nurse, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."
"There is no such doctor" she tells him. "Perhaps you would like to see someone else?"
"No, I need to see an eye-ear doctor," he says.
"But there is no such doctor," she replies. "We have doctors for the eyes and doctors for the ear, nose and throat, but no eye-ear doctor."
No help. He repeats, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."
They go around like this for a few minutes and then the nurse says: "Comrade, there is no eye-ear doctor, but if there were one, why would you want to see him?"
"Because," he replies, "I keep hearing one thing and seeing another."
MARRIAGE/MARIJUANA
For those who haven’t heard, Washington State just passed both laws - gay marriage and legalized marijuana.
The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalized on the same day makes perfect biblical sense because Leviticus 20:13 says, “If a man lies with another man they should be stoned.”
We just hadn’t interpreted it correctly before
"That was a long time ago ..."
The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore
and saw a “Honk If You Love Jesus “ bumper sticker.
I was feeling particularly sassy that day
because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance,
followed by a thunderous prayer meeting;
so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, I’m glad I did!
What an uplifting experience that followed!
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection
just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is...
and I didn’t notice that the light had changed.
It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus
because if he hadn’t honked, I’d never have noticed!
I found that LOTS of people love Jesus!
Why, while I was sitting there,
the guy behind me started honking like crazy,
and then he leaned out of his window and screamed,
“For the love of GOD! GO! GO! JESUS CHRIST, GO!”
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
Everyone started honking!
I just leaned out of my window
and started waving and smiling at all these loving people.
I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
There must have been a man from Florida back there
because I heard him yelling something about a
“sunny beach”...
I saw another guy waving in a funny way
with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.
When I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat
what that meant, he said that it was probably
a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I’ve never met anyone from Hawaii;
so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.
My grandson burst out laughing...
why even he was enjoying this religious experience!
A couple of the people were so caught up
in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars
and started walking towards me.
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended,
but this is when I noticed the light had changed.
So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers, grinning,
and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection
before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad
that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared;
so I slowed the car down, leaned out the window
and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign
one last time as I drove away.
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!
I like the part where she says: http://www.moviesoundclips.net/download.php?id=697&ft=mp3
I’ve seen this man! With my own two eyes! In Seattle, at the last Emerald City ComiCon.
That’s funny right there.
Jewish sex
No matter what this husband did in bed; his wife never achieved an orgasm...
Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to consult their Rabbi.
The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion:
‘Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. ‘That will help your wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm.
So they go home and follow the Rabbi’s advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. It does not help and the wife is still unsatisfied.
Perplexed, they go back to the Rabbi.
‘Okay,’ he says to the husband, ‘Try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them.’
Once again, they follow the Rabbi’s advice. They go home and hire the same strapping young man.
The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel .
The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and soon she has an enormous, room shaking, ear-splitting screaming orgasm.
The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly, ‘See that, you schmuck? THAT’S how you wave a towel!
What are the differences between a young whore, an old whore, and a wife?
You can tell each one by their statements.
The young whore says, “Faster, Faster...”
The old whore says, “Slower, slower...”
The wife says, “Beige... I think I’ll paint the ceiling beige...”
Martians land on Earth. After a period of caution, scientists and the Martians find each other friendly and start to communicate. Scientific information about each other is exchanged and this leads to a discussion about reproduction.
“So how do you procreate?”, ask the earth scientists?
“Simple, two of us stand within arm’s length, we touch fingers and out comes a new Martian. We’ll show you!” And so two of them do touch fingers and a cute little Martin is born seconds later. “So how do you earthlings procreate?”, asks the Martians.
“Well, it is a little hard to describe. But we have two scientists who have agreed to show you”, says the scientist. So a human male and female, start to disrobe each other and “offer” a demonstration in reproduction. When they are done, they dress and smile, a little nervously. The lead scientist says somewhat proudly, “And 9 months later, out comes a baby human!”
The Martians look puzzled. One comments, “OK. I understood the kissing, gentle sounds and closeness of the male and female. But if it takes 9 months, why were they going so fast at the end??”
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