What are the differences between a young whore, an old whore, and a wife?
You can tell each one by their statements.
The young whore says, “Faster, Faster...”
The old whore says, “Slower, slower...”
The wife says, “Beige... I think I’ll paint the ceiling beige...”
Martians land on Earth. After a period of caution, scientists and the Martians find each other friendly and start to communicate. Scientific information about each other is exchanged and this leads to a discussion about reproduction.
“So how do you procreate?”, ask the earth scientists?
“Simple, two of us stand within arm’s length, we touch fingers and out comes a new Martian. We’ll show you!” And so two of them do touch fingers and a cute little Martin is born seconds later. “So how do you earthlings procreate?”, asks the Martians.
“Well, it is a little hard to describe. But we have two scientists who have agreed to show you”, says the scientist. So a human male and female, start to disrobe each other and “offer” a demonstration in reproduction. When they are done, they dress and smile, a little nervously. The lead scientist says somewhat proudly, “And 9 months later, out comes a baby human!”
The Martians look puzzled. One comments, “OK. I understood the kissing, gentle sounds and closeness of the male and female. But if it takes 9 months, why were they going so fast at the end??”