Posted on 12/28/2012 9:50:24 PM PST by chessplayer
The stars and writers of Mystery Science Theater 3000 have carried our bad movie passion/fixation/incurable mental condition forward at RiffTrax.com. You spend enough time with bad movies, you’re gonna wind up arguing over which ones are truly the worst. Rather than fight it out tooth-and-nail among ourselves, risking possible tooth injury or even nail damage, we put the question to our fans. A record-setting 500,000 votes later, we’ve got the list. RiffTrax's first annual Worst Movies of All Time list. This is it. No more fighting. Because nobody fights about lists on the internet, right? Right??
(Excerpt) Read more at rifftrax.com ...
Without a doubt, Beverly Hills Chihuahua.
Preachy diversty movie and a bad film in general.
My kids who back then would watch paint dry on a screen even commented about how bad it was.
Ah, that's why it failed for me. I didn't have any booze in me lol.
I didn’t find out until I went to see after you asked...it was Dorothy Stratton, the one who was murdered.
Okay. That’s creepy now.
I saw that movie again recently, and I have to say...the concept of a telepathic dog with a chronically sarcastic attitude, using his nose to sniff out scarce women who are disguised as men (for protection) in exchange for morsels of food...
It just doesn’t get any more creative or off the beaten track than that!
The current “Anna Karenina” stinks.
I think the director was tripping on acid.
.
I’m with ya’.
But the dialogue in one particular segment was very, very good, I thought. It was very powerful. Mel Gibson's character (Graham) was a priest, and lost his faith when he was called to the scene of a car accident to deliver Last Rites, only to find out that it was his wife who needed them. She was still alive, pinned between the truck and a tree, but was going to die for certain when they tried to move the truck. He left the clergy after that, and in the scene below, is talking with his younger brother Merrill (played by Joaquim Phoenix)
INT. FAMILY ROOM - MIDNIGHT
(The family room lights are off now. The TV is still on. The SOUND IS MUTED. There are a couple glasses of Bo's water on the television now. The fourteen lights are still hovering on the screen. Morgan is asleep on Graham’s lap. Bo is asleep on Merrill's shoulder. Everyone knows there are aliens out there, they have been watching this unchanging scene for hours.)
MERRILL: (whispers) Some people are probably thinking this is the end of the world.
GRAHAM: (whispers) That's true.
MERRILL: (whispers) Do you think it's a possibility?
GRAHAM: (whispers) Yes.
MERRILL: (whispers) How can you say that?
GRAHAM: (whispers) That wasn't the answer you wanted?
MERRILL: (whispers) Can you at least pretend to be like you used to be? Give me some comfort?
GRAHAM: (whispers)...There are all different ways you can tell that there's someone really there watching out for us. You see signs. Sometimes they're little ones. You think of someone. The phone rings. They're on the phone... Sometimes they're big, like fourteen lights hovering over Mexico City. Sure, there are a lot of people watching this who think this could be a bad thing. But there are a lot of people watching this, who think it's a miracle. A sign of God's existence. It's all in how you look at things Merrill. What you have to decide is what kind of person you are? Are you the type who believes in miracles and looks for signs or are you the kind who believes, things just happen by chance?
MERRILL: I was at this party once. I'm on a couch with Sara Mckinney. She was just sitting there, looking beautiful and staring at me. I go to lean in and kiss her and I realize I have gum in my mouth. I turn and take out the gum. Stuff it in my paper cup next to the sofa and turn around. Sara Mckinney throws up all over herself. I knew the second it happened. It was a miracle. I could have been kissing her when she threw up. That would have scarred me for life. I may never have recovered.
MERRILL: I'm a miracle man. Those lights are a miracle.
GRAHAM: (smiles, whispers) There you go.
MERRILL: (whispers) So which type are you?
GRAHAM: (whispers) Do you feel comforted?
MERRILL: (whispers) Yes.
GRAHAM: (whispers) What does it matter then?
(Long pause here)
GRAHAM: (whispers) Do you know what Colleen's last words were before they killed her?
GRAHAM: (whispers) She said, "See", and then her eyes glazed a bit and she said... "Tell Merrill to swing away
GRAHAM: (whispers) Do you know why she said that?
MERRILL: "No."
GRAHAM: (whispers) Because the nerve endings in her brain were firing as she died, and some random memory of us at one of your baseball games popped into her head.
GRAHAM: There is no one watching out for us, Merrill. We're all on our own.
Yes, Hudson Hawk was HORRIBLE.
Thankfully Rochelle, Rochelle wasn’t on the list.
there was a script?
I just watched it again on Netflix streaming, and I was mistaken about the light saber duels. Actually, it was Marjoe Gortner, the evangelist, who wipes out the troglodytes with the light saber. Hasselhoff actually battles the stop-motion animated "golem" robots with the light saber. It's one of the most memorable bad cinema moments of all time. Starcrash sets all sorts of new standards for bad in almost every scene. From the lite-brite galaxy, to the spaceships assembled from leftover model parts and spray paint cans. It's bad with artistic flair. And the English-as-a-third-language dialog swings between unbearable and hilarious.
The worst movie of all time is also the longest running screenplay of all time: Rocky Horror Picture Show. People go to this movie just so they can throw rice at the screen and make stupid comments.
You know what is odd, these apocalyptic movies about global warming are never on tv, ever. 2012, and Day after tomorrow.
I’ve only seen four, and I probably shouldn’t count Manos because I watched the MST3K version.
Oh Lord, yes.
Can’t understand why anyone thought Pacino was tolerable in that, much less consider it one of his best performances.
Jackson’s Kong would have been OK if it had been about 90 minutes shorter.
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