Posted on 12/14/2012 5:04:40 AM PST by Lucky9teen
A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.
Then he decided to write Santa a letter requesting the $100.00.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to Santa , USA , they decided to send it to President Obama.
Obama was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. He thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank you note to Santa, which read:
Dear Santa: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington , D.C. and that &^%** Obama took $95.00 in taxes!
Mark was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. Mark took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
Hi Arrowhead!
Yay, me! Top 400!
I miss you.
That is great.
I see it 3 times. Regardless, Top something baby!!!!
Everyone have a great weekend.
A WISH TO LIVE FOREVER
I met a fairy who said she would grant me one wish.
Immediately I said, “I want to live forever.”
“Sorry,” said the fairy, “I’m not allowed to grant eternal life.”
“OK,” I said, “Then, I want to die after Congress gets its head out of its ass!”
“You crafty bastard,” said the fairy.
WooHoo! Happy Friday!!
10 Sure Fire Ways To get on Santa’s bad side!
1. Leave him a note, explaining that you’ve gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants
2. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
3. Build an army of snowmen on the roof, holding signs – ‘Bah Humbug’ and ‘Bite me Santa.’
4. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.
5. While he’s in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn’t have missed that last payment, and take off.
6. Take everything out of your house as if it’s just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, ‘Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime.’
7. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.
8. While he’s in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.
9. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa’s sure to see them. Go outside, yell, ‘Ooh! Look! A deer! And he’s got a red nose!’ and fire a gun.
10. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, ‘This neighborhood ain’t big enough for the both of us.
Top 40!!
That reminds me. I have to NOT light a fire on the 24th this year.
Very funny!
Yeah, BABY!!!!
Where do I sign up?
It’s CHRISTMAS magic! LOL
If it makes anyone feel better, townhall.com was triple-posting this morning. They appear to have fixed it now, though.
TOP 40!!
My favorite animal...
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.”
She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, because everyone else laughed.
My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.
I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much.
I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal’s office.
I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.
She sent me back to the principal’s office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.
I don’t understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn’t like it when I am.
Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most.
I told her, “Colonel Sanders.”
Guess where I am now...
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