The concession speech the world has been waiting for:

Subterfuge Daily ^ | 10/15/12 | subterfuge

[subterfuge]

Ladies and gentlemen, as you know I’ve been very proud to be your president these last 4 years. Aaand, you know, while I’ve worked as hard between rounds of golf as I possibly could have during these tumultuous times, there simply wasn’t enough time for me to fix all the horrendous things George Bush did to make me inherit the worst economy the U.S. has EVER faced. Some say, ah, that no one man could have repaired all the damage my predecessor had done in 8 years, let alone 4.

The important thing to remember is that none of our economic woes, ah, as a country, were put in place by me. I didn’t do that. I didn’t build that. As a matter of fact, if I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing. Why is that do you ask? I’ll tell you why, and ah, let me be clear.

Energy costs, and particularly gas prices, needed to ‘necessarily skyrocket.’ That goal was easily achieved by me. America’s enemies hate us more now than ever before and that was no easy feat that I accomplished. I have bowed, apologized, whined and sucked up to every dictator and despot in the free world as few could have. I’m just, ah, really, really great.

Also, to get my signature accomplishment to become reality, even though more than half the country didn’t want it, I twisted arms, cajoled, brow-beat, threatened and lied to anyone who had a different view than mine in order to get the job done. Medical care or, Obama-“care” if you will, named after me, is an important part of the economy that ah, as any decent economist will tell you, needs to be under the control of government—just like in Cuba.

My other main accomplishments are probably too numerous to mention, such as my strengthening unions at the expense of bond-holders and other Americans. Or my yearly NCAA basketball bracket picks that everyone was keenly interested in. And don’t forget my dismantling of the coal industry in favor of green energy at the expense of the middle class and suburbia.

In closing, I have to say I have no regrets. Black unemployment is still close to 20%, the U.S debt has risen to more than $16 trillion, racial disharmony has increased exponentially and the middle class has been buried during my term, according to my esteemed Vice President, Slow Joe Biden. As anyone can see by now, it was never my intention to fix any of those things. In the end ladies and gentlemen, the entire experiment of a hard-core leftist community organizer (me) was a huge success because America Just Got Served, biotches!! OUT! (git cher sh!t Shellie!)

[treetopsandroofs]

“And, as long as MO doesn’t cram her pockets and luggage with stuff from the WH that WE paid for (Like Evita).”

I’m guessing the Wookie doesn’t like much about the White House to steal.

[subterfuge]

I know. Would be too hard to read in owebama’s typical cadence.