Posted on 08/30/2012 6:16:12 PM PDT by MrPiper
If you think a marriage counseler can help your marriage, you believe in Santa Claus ! They are as full of stuffing as a christmas turkey!
Guys, you are a fool to ever marry!!!!
The marraige counselor doesn’t do the work. You both have to. They are not going to fix anything. They can give you some direction, but unless you BOTH want it to work..and let the BS childish crap go...100 counselors won’t help.
It took two trips around that track to actually believe what he was telling me. And it was hard, hard work.
If it was easy.....well, it’s not.
Age is just a state of mind, and nobody said you had to start again...at least not with anyone new. Our lives are what we make of them. Take what time you've got left and try to make yourself happy. I've got health problems, and nobody in my family has lived past 72...so far. I've got one sibling left. She just turned 72. She's an alcoholic, never married, never had kids, and lives in an adult assisted living home. She's the oldest of us four kids, and has outlived my other sister and only brother. She'll probably outlive me too. Wherever I go when I die, all I ask is that they have flavored coffee and books to read, and I'll be happy.
No offense...but maybe you ain’t doing’ it right. 26 years and I say no more often than her. (I hate shaving at night, and the beard it tough.)
J, I know that your experience is the experience of many. Just allow me to reassure you that some females received no monetary support from former spouses—I divorced in a no-fault state, and he didn’t pay me a penny. As a matter of fact, he actually attempted to damage my credit rating. If something’s over, it’s over and I’ll leave without looking back. However, vindictiveness toward a spouse is not limited to females vs. males. Just know that some of us aren’t gamesters who need to attach some guy’s paycheck.
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Miami. ‘The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is terrible. Sodas corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs and chemicals in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?’
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, ‘Wedding Cake.’
To have a wonderful marriage takes respect and love by both parties—you always bring out the BEST in your spouse—but that is the maxim for ALL successful mature relationships.
You have to love yourself (God) so that you can love others. Otherwise, that “need” will destroy any relationship. You BOTH need to grow in knowledge and wisdom-—by learning and doing constructive things together.
Because you live intimately with another person-—makes this love and respect all the more important-—because the spouse has the knowledge to destroy their mate because of their intimacy and lack of secrecy. This vulnerability CAN NEVER be exploited. (That is hate and not love-—or it is stupidity—I could NOT stand to be married either to a “stupid” person).
I just went to the funeral of a Doctor-—married for over 60 years and they were the happiest people-—and the most intellectual-—that I have ever known. They had a fabulous life-—raised daughters-—have grandchildren—traveled around the world. Read the Bible daily.
Why were they the happiest? They grew together-—lost a child-—and were stronger for it because of their belief in God. They treated each other with the upmost respect-—never taking each other for granted. Most important thing to BOTH-—God, first. Then, they were able to love everyone-—see such joy in everything-—even death.
Attitude is everything. People who are pessimists do not truly believe in God. People who are haters and rude-—do not truly believe in God. People who are narcissists-—do not truly believe in God. People who are mean and selfish—do not believe in God.
(They will not be perfect-—so if they do on occasion slip—it should be forgiven-—but if it is a pattern-—there is no belief in God.)
It does not take a rocket scientist to understand that without God a person is never “selfless”—which is necessary for an intimate relationship. There is no happiness and no love without God—because there will be no selflessness. There will always be ulterior, evil motives to use people-—without God.
With God-—an extremely happy marriage is possible==but only with God.
Simply not true.
Have you asked yourself why your marraige really ended. Get the real, deep, honest truth to that....and accept your part of it and you will be on the way to a better life—with or without a woman.
Read the book: Growp up.
You wont like what it says...but he is cheaper than a shrink.
Good luck.
Ive often asked, “what am I doing wrong”results is yelling an screaming,, looking for the rock to climb under....
Mt. P, you need to plant your own garden. Please do things that give you joy and satisfaction. Life can be so beautiful. Going through a difficult period can seem insurmountable (sp?), but with introspection, education (self- or otherwise), and careful thought, you can have a lovely, satisfying life. Also, you have us; just run your next prospective mate past us and we’ll give you the down and dirty bottom line :).
I couldn’t have gotten through difficult periods without my friends. They are a tremendous source of strength. Just reach out—you’ll be surprised at the support you’ll receive.
Mine suits me just fine. My babies grew up well, and tomorrow I'll join my grandson and my daughter for lunch at his school.
Keep moving forward and remember that despair is a sin.
/johnny
Give your man a reasonably clean house, a decent meal, serious loving, and a little down time to enjoy his favorite activity (besides sex), and he'll crawl over broken glass for you.
Give your wife security, praise, help with chores every once in a while so she can have down time, too, don't bitch about her shoes, and she'll crawl over broken glass for you.
Marry someone who is your mirror: same values, sees problems and obstacles the same way, reacts to surprises the same way, treat each other with respect...life will be peaceful.
Been married to my husand for 19 amazing years. We've come through catastrophic medical issues, borderline backruptcy, natural disasters, 3 energetic kids. Life HAS NOT been easy. But I wouldn't trade a day of it for any other man on the planet. I'd kill for him, die for him, and life without him in it is too horrible to contemplate.
Not every woman is a psycho bitch. Some of us were raised right.
Funny. I liked your post.
I’m very happy for you! Have a grand time tomorrow—you deserve it!
My guess is he’s speaking Jack Daniels.
"You think YOU married a b*tch..."
women, you need to write a book! -
as a guy, that is all it would take for me to crawl over broken glass and beat the crap out of any thug threatening that....
Perhaps people don't recognize that your best mate is your mirror image. Same values, etc. I bet that's the key to the whole issue. Maybe opposites attract--that brings a bunch of conflicts into a relationship. I married my best friend--all the other stuff is gravy.
“Thank you for the link, but my advise stands firm, guys, pay for your sex up front, find a good prostitute and stick with her. do not fall in love, stick to prostitutes!!!!”
What a sad statement.
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