Posted on 08/30/2012 1:53:01 PM PDT by nickcarraway
It wasn't Baconalia that broke us. It wasn't even Burger King's bacon sundae. But yesterday we finally reached the end of our patience with this country's bacon obsession, when we learned that a disgusting-sounding bacon-flavored coffee took home top honors and $10,000 at a Seattle's Best Coffee-sponsored recipe contest at the Iowa State Fair over the weekend. Enough is enough, America. Instead of writing a long, cranky tirade about how fucking tired we are of bacon-flavored everything (other writers have covered the subject pretty exhaustively), we decided to bring you a comprehensive list of all the bacon-flavored products out there and let you judge for yourselves whether the trend is a delight or an abomination.
Note: We limited this list to products you're actually meant to put in your mouth, which means we left off bacon cologne, bacon soap, bacon candles, bacon shoes, and other such silliness. We also left out one-off restaurant dishes like bacon ice cream, bacon cupcakes, bacon cocktails, etc., because there's not enough time in the world to catalog them all, and their reach is generally hyper-local anyway.
Without further ado, we bring you 35 examples of bacon-flavored ridiculousness you could mail-order today:
Bacon-Flavored Beer
Bacon-Flavored Breath Mints
Bacon-Flavored Caramel Corn
Bacon-Flavored Candy Canes
Bacon Chocolate
Bacon-Flavored Dental Floss
Bacon-Flavored Effervescent Drink Tablets
Bacon-Flavored Envelopes
Bacon-Flavored Frosting
Bacon-Flavored Gumballs
Bacon-Flavored Hot Sauce
Bacon Jam
Bacon-Flavored Jelly Beans
Bacon Jerky
Bacon-Flavored Ketchup
Bacon-Flavored Lip Balm
Bacon-Flavored Lollipops
Bacon-Flavored Lube
Bacon Mayonnaise
Bacon-Flavored Mustard
Bacon-Flavored Olive Oil
Bacon Peanut Brittle
Bacon-Flavored Popcorn
Bacon-Flavored Potato Chips
Bacon-Flavored Salad Dressing
Bacon Salt
Bacon-Flavored Soda
Bacon-Flavored SPAM
Bacon-Flavored Spray Cheese
Bacon-Flavored Sunflower Seeds
Bacon-Flavored Syrup
Bacon-Flavored Taffy
Bacon-Flavored Toothpaste
Bacon-Flavored Toothpicks
Bacon-Flavored Vodka
If all this makes you more hungry than angry, you should probably know that tomorrow night (Thurs. Aug. 30), the Nightlife at the Academy event at the California Academy of Sciences is bacon-themed. There will be bacon snacks from Bacon Bacon and Nosh This!, along with chef demos from Chris Cosentino of Incanto, Stephen Pocock of Boccalone, and Ryan Farr of 4505 Meats. Go forth and worship with your fellow bacon-lovers in peace.
I don’t know about all of those, but my son sent me chocolate covered bacon one Christmas and it was SO AWESOMELY GOOD. I intend to make some sometime.
I also tried a recipe I found online in which you roll bacon in those pop in the oven cinnamon rolls that come in a can (Pillsbury but you can also use the store brand) and cook them according to normal direcsions. I found they were better if you cooked the bacon a little first in the microwave because I HATE limp bacon (but it still has to be pliable enough to roll up). BUT That was also quite tasty.
There just not much that isn’t made better with bacon.
ping
Sorry that should be “cook them according to normal directions.” I got a little light headed thinking about all that bacon!
Apparently Kevin thinks so as well. Isn't he thinking of changing his name so that he will be welcomed into Muslim households.
A lady goes into a butcher shop and asks for a pound of bacon and the butcher informs her, "we ain't got no bacon ... how about a pound o' ham?"
The lady says no, I'd like a pound of bacon" and the butcher again says, "We ain't got no bacon, how about a pound of veal?"
The lady says "No, I'd like a pound of bacon"
The butcher asks ..
"Lady, can you spell 'can' like in 'candle' ?
The lady says, "Sure, c.a.n"
"Lady .. can you spell 'will' like in 'willing'?"
The lady says, "Of course, "w.i.l.l."
The butcher asks, "Lady, can you spell f*** as in bacon?"
The lady says, "There ain't no f*** in bacon"
"THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YA, lady !!! "
You left out bacon on top of maple donuts. Is that because it is the new normal?
This is why I live and love the USA!
What was the ridiculous part?
Well, now that thought and the @#(*@( Oompa Loompa song are stuck in my head so I have to make up some lyrics.
Oompa Loompa, doompadee doo
We have a perfect meat dish for you
Oompa Loompa, doompadee dee
If you are wise you will listen me
What do you get when you salt up some pork?
Something quite tasty to put on your fork.
What about curing it perfectly right?
Bacon you can dream of all night.
I sure like the taste of it.
Oompa Loompa, doompadee dah
If you eat bacon you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doompadee do
Doompadee do
Last week W00t! offered a bacon coffin.
Muslims must love this thread! ;-)
I like wrapping brats up in bacon and throwing the whole shebang on the grill.
I see no ridiculous products.
Dang right, Nully. "Ridiculous" and "bacon" do not belong in the same phrase.
Honey mustard was a big deal ten years ago. Then chipotle was the rage. Now its bacon.
The only nice thing about the bacon craze is that it cured my daughter of her budding vegetarianism.
Bacon Cinnamon Rolls.... Yummmmmmmmmm
The Burger King bacon sundae rocks! :-d)
rut-roh
just wait until CAIR hears about this
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