Posted on 06/30/2012 8:05:22 PM PDT by Marie
Ten years ago my family adopted a stray, adult male cat from our local shelter. He took to me immediately, but would barely tolerate my kids. He flat-out hated my husband on sight and that never changed. He did form an uneasy truce with our dog. They basically agree to ignore each other.
He's at least 12 now and the years have not been good for him.
He's always been terribly nervous. He over-grooms to the point of self mutilation and there are months where his belly is completely bald. He spends his time under the bed. He moves through the house with his tail low, darting from safe-haven to safe-haven. He's the only animal I've ever had that refuses treats. He only eats dry kibble. And, in the summer he'll refuse to eat even that and go down to skin and bones.
He's flea free and well taken care of. The vet has never found anything physically wrong with him. Nothing has worked to make him happy except one thing.
Being alone with me. When the house is quiet and empty, he's a different animal. He's affectionate and playful. Relaxed. He's been a true comfort to me when my husband has been deployed. He and I have our daily rituals. We are true friends. I think that, had the two of us been tucked into a cabin the woods for all these years, he'd have been fine.
But now we're moving and we can't take him with us. My daughter had planned to take him for me, but now things have changed.
The disruption in the house has driven him mad. He's defecating all over the house for the first time. He's scratched his own throat terribly and I've just discovered that the wound is infected.
In the evening, for just an hour or so, he crawls into my lap for comfort. He relaxes and purrs and behaves like a happy, normal cat.
And then he's off again. Running and hiding from imaginary bad guys. Ripping out his hair and scratching himself bloody.
I've never had a problem putting down a sick animal. I know that there comes a point to let them go.
But he's not dying! He's just miserable and crazy. I know that, if he goes with my daughter's new family, he's going to be insane and drive her insane with the random pooping.
I don't think that it's fair to ask her to put up with this. She is buying her first house. And I don't think that it's fair to keep him in this miserable state.
But then we have that hour or so where he's a normal, happy cat and I don't think I can go through with Monday's euthanasia.
When is it time to let a crazy cat go?
The licking and baldness should be easily (and economically) treatable, ask your Vet! Our cat is happy again and with nice fur regrown too.
(You will lose your cat someday but maybe... just maybe.. it is too early, see your Vet)
Best wishes
Did you let the cat back in?
pleonasm
Had to look that one up
word of the day
Yes, but it got kicked out again, so many times that it finally stopped coming home. I mean my sister used to literally kick the thing out the door.
Oh Marie! That is such a hard one. I ended up with our neighbors cat after she had put out $1000 dollars on him because he had got hit by a car. He lived and finally got over being quite so strange as his brain had swollen. The thing is that family brought in more cats and he just couldn’t stand it so he adopted us. After 10 yrs we sold our house and was having one built. We would be living with our youngest daughter and she has a big dog who would have gone after the cats. So we decided our oldest daughter could take him and the other cat we had as she loves cats. The thing is she let them out to go potty and “Rico” that was his name took off and was never to be found. A couple of weeks later I saw a dead cat on the Freeway and I am almost sure it was him. I think he was trying to get back to our other house. I wish I had just left him there as I think his original owner would have seen to it that he was fed.
All I can say is I have had 3 of our dogs put down and one died at my feet and one died in my arms. I can say with the ones I had put down even though they were very old I always had that feeling I should have let them live until they went on there own.
I will pray that the Lord gives you comfort in whatever decision you make.
P.S. Why would you not be able to take the cat with you?
How sad. Poor cat. I hope he/she finally found a loving home.
Sounds like someone else in your house is secretly tormenting him.
We had a cat that occupied our garage for several years. He was a neighborhood stray that sneaked in one day when one of us left the door open, and while I tried to chase him out with a water pistol, that just made him cantankerous. He never let any of us get close enough to touch him, so we just put up with the snarls and hissing, provided dry food and water and a litter box and let him be.
He never wanted in the house and seldom ventured outside, and NEVER let any of us get close enough to touch him. I thought about trapping him for a trip to the vet for shots, but decided that it would be traumatic for both of us.
He lived about 5 years, and then one day the food and water were untouched and the litter box clean for several days. My search finally located him - deceased - in a cardboard box behind a workbench.
What kind of a life was that? It was what he chose and maintained, so I suppose it was the best we could do for him.
We have had cats for many years, and really enjoy observing the way they interact with each other and with us. the aphorism, “Dogs have families - Cats have staff.” is certainly more than just words.
Today we have two cats - Snowball, a white long-haired male, is 18 and far from the oldest we have had. And several years later Precious, a neighborhood female adopted and named by a family down the street and then abandoned when they moved away. Both would share the garage with the invader, but Snowball will not allow Precious to enter the hallway or bedroom areas of our house. He hangs out in the hallway, clearly to keep her out.
That’s a keeper.
I am sorry for you, and your cat.
You are correct that it wouldn’t be right to drop this particular problem on your daughter, since you already know the cat hates her.
If you can afford to get a vets opinion and medical help, I think you should try that first.
If you don’t have the funds for that, I think you should contact animal rescue shelters and ask for their advise.
One of my cats (the stable one) suddenly dropped dead the night before we moved the final furniture, and ourselves, to a better place. No signs of distress beforehand.
I hope you can find another place for him that offers a real chance at survival.
It sounds like he deserves a bit of extra effort on your part, after all those years...
It sounds like you already know the answer, you are just taking time to adjust to it.
Wow, please accept my sympathy.
My wife and I just put down our ancient girl (over 20). She had mild dementia for several years, but remained good natured. Her health went down hill very quickly and it was time.
Just pray and do what would be in the cat’s best interest.
Sorry Marie for the upset. It’s hard when you care for an animal but their behavior is less than desirable. It would be hard for me to put down a cat especially one that wasn’t physically ill.
These would be my suggestions:
If at all possible try to take him with you to your new place and get him on meds quickly.
If your daughter and her husband, etc. are okay with taking him, let her do it, but make sure she and her family are truly okay with it. It would be a shame to have him go to a new situation and be absolutely miserable, but then for your daughter to be absolutely miserable in her new home too. Of course, get him on meds if he goes with your daughter.
If there’s no way you can take him and your daughter decides she can’t do it, get him to some place: shelter, foster home that can take him until a suitable home is found. A place that won’t kill him. He’d be perfect for a woman with no husband, kids, or animals. Not sure what part of the country you are in, but I know we have several options in the Denver area for animals. Some animals are really hard to place, but like disabled children, there are people that will take them in. Start googling your area now: “hard to place cats in Whatevertown USA”, etc. or some such, “no kill shelters in Whatevertown USA”. If you can get him to a no-kill option, give them a good donation that you can afford.
If none of those options work out you may have to put him to sleep as a last resort. I UNDERSTAND that is hard and it comes with guilt, at least for me, even when the animal is physically ill, but you’ll know that you did your best on trying to find an alternative. Animals are such a great addition to our lives, but I’m not one of these animal lovers that thinks you should absolutely go to the most extreme lengths when a situation is causing such havoc. I always initially side with life with an animal, but there are times when the less than desirable has to be done because in the end people do have to come first.
I wish you the best. Please ping us, if you care to, to give us any updates.
Perhaps you can offer to pay a neighbor for cat food....
Free Republic — the new death panel.
I had to put my first golden down when she lost her hearing and most of her sight and began resisting going out because she was afraid, even though I went out with her on a leash in a fenced yard. I think she could smell other animals but not know where they were. It scared her terribly. She would just lay down and shake.
Anyway, I decided it was cruel to make her suffer that fear and cruel us to have to deal with a dog that was too afraid to go outside and instead messed up our house. She felt bad about doing her business in the house because she knew it was wrong. So, we put her down and it is very sad. She was a great dog. I will never forget her.
Damn fine post Lx, my compliments.....
Has the cat ever had a FULL tick panel or full thyroid test run?
I’d check that, first.
Cats tend to be hyperthyroidal whereas dogs tend to be hypothyroidal.
Hyperthyroidism manifests as nervousness, anxiety, aggressiveness, weight loss and a ton of other seemingly ‘gone crazy’ symptoms.
The older a cat is, the more prone they are to it.
*Any* “extra” stress exacerbates it.
Seriously, you have my sympathy. We’ve lost three cats over the last couple of years to old age — two died in their sleep, one had to be put down. We have a 19-year-old cat who’s heading in that direction. We thought he was a goner, but the vet recommended subcutaneous fluids, A hundred milliliters of saline every couple of days have kept him quite healthy the last six months.
He has a problem with food, however. He seems to be able to eat only a tablespoon or two of food at a time, so he needs to be fed every hour or two. This wouldn’t be so bad, except that we have six other cats who descend on him when they see the canned food, so I have to stand guard while he nibbles at it. I wonder every day if I should just give up, but I work at home so his job is to make sure I take a regular break from my computer.
Thank you, I didn’t realize she had already scheduled the euthanasia.
Marie, please, you do not want to do this; it will haunt you forever and that is no way to treat a friend. There are many no kill shelters that will take your kitteh, look one up and see if they’ll take her.
Or better yet:
The kitteh will also get used to living with your daughter and eventually, she will replace you in the kitteh’s heart.
This isn’t an inanimate object, this is a life and must be respected.
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