Posted on 06/30/2012 8:05:22 PM PDT by Marie
Ten years ago my family adopted a stray, adult male cat from our local shelter. He took to me immediately, but would barely tolerate my kids. He flat-out hated my husband on sight and that never changed. He did form an uneasy truce with our dog. They basically agree to ignore each other.
He's at least 12 now and the years have not been good for him.
He's always been terribly nervous. He over-grooms to the point of self mutilation and there are months where his belly is completely bald. He spends his time under the bed. He moves through the house with his tail low, darting from safe-haven to safe-haven. He's the only animal I've ever had that refuses treats. He only eats dry kibble. And, in the summer he'll refuse to eat even that and go down to skin and bones.
He's flea free and well taken care of. The vet has never found anything physically wrong with him. Nothing has worked to make him happy except one thing.
Being alone with me. When the house is quiet and empty, he's a different animal. He's affectionate and playful. Relaxed. He's been a true comfort to me when my husband has been deployed. He and I have our daily rituals. We are true friends. I think that, had the two of us been tucked into a cabin the woods for all these years, he'd have been fine.
But now we're moving and we can't take him with us. My daughter had planned to take him for me, but now things have changed.
The disruption in the house has driven him mad. He's defecating all over the house for the first time. He's scratched his own throat terribly and I've just discovered that the wound is infected.
In the evening, for just an hour or so, he crawls into my lap for comfort. He relaxes and purrs and behaves like a happy, normal cat.
And then he's off again. Running and hiding from imaginary bad guys. Ripping out his hair and scratching himself bloody.
I've never had a problem putting down a sick animal. I know that there comes a point to let them go.
But he's not dying! He's just miserable and crazy. I know that, if he goes with my daughter's new family, he's going to be insane and drive her insane with the random pooping.
I don't think that it's fair to ask her to put up with this. She is buying her first house. And I don't think that it's fair to keep him in this miserable state.
But then we have that hour or so where he's a normal, happy cat and I don't think I can go through with Monday's euthanasia.
When is it time to let a crazy cat go?
But I can't allow him to destroy my daughter's property and disrupt her life. (she's only taking him to be nice to me) And I can't take a crapping cat into a rental.
But I'm having a very hard time coming to terms with this.
Pray for your cat. God takes care of animals just like he does people. We prayed for peace over our friend’s neurotic cat and he is now very calm.
Pray for your cat. God takes care of animals just like he does people. We prayed for peace over our friend’s neurotic cat and he is now very calm.
One thing to think about is that if your daughter takes the cat, and the cat is unmanageable, then perhaps your daughter will be the one who is forced to put the cat down. That may result is a strained relationship with a good deal of resentment. It might be a kindness for all if you took on the inevitable task. But only your heart can guide you.
Put him in a foster home or ask your vet to take him for awhile. He just wants to be loved. You also shouldn’t make your daughter’s decisions for her. She should make her own, and if she wants to take him on, she should.
If she’s old enough to take on a house, she can take on a housecat.
Isn’t “Neurotic Cat” a pleonasm?
Well put.
I’m so sorry for you and your cat.
It sounds like it may be time to let go.
12 years is a good run for an adopted stray.
Marie, I sent you a PM via Freepmail.
At the end of the day does your daughter believe you care more about that cat than you value her? Can you live with that belief in your daughters heart?
Seriously.
It works for my obsessive compulsive gato.
There should be medication that improves this condition. I would call the vet’s office and inquire about that.
I like “Slings” idea of possibly getting some sort of meds from the vet. Cats can get mental issues, they are fairly intelligent little guys, no surprise. A very small dose of what humans use for anxiety and such problems may work wonders for him.
I replied to you privately via email. There are numerous links which you might find helpful. There could be a medical reason underlying these problems, could be a diet deficiency or something else in the house (radical change in environment, etc....) Please don’t give up on him!
If you really can’t take him with you, and being placed anywhere else is going to make him miserable, then I think euthanizing him would be a kind act.
just my opinion
That seems a little harsh.
The poster already said she was going to have the kitty put down rather than leave it with her daughter.
Why rub salt in an open wound, FRiend?
I send sympathy and understanding that you are in a very tough decision spot.
Has the vet suggested any medication for your cat’s anxiety?
If not you should bring up the subject with him. If medication does not help I think humane euthanasia may be a reasonable option for the cat.
If I had a cat using the house as a bathroom it would be gone. I simply don’t see how people can live like that. Disgusting.
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