My buddies wife is divorcing him. They are both 40. She has spent a fortune on plastic surgery and he spent some money on an offroad car. When everything is to be sold off he has to sell the car and split the money. She gets to keep the surgeries he paid half of.
I believe she is going thru the mid life crisis. They also have t 2 girls about 8 and 10. What a waste.
I know 2 couples that my wife and I have been friends with for years where the women suffered in bad marriages while raising the kids.
Now that the kids are gone, the women are opting out of what my wife and I consider to be abusive and dysfunctional marriages.
I hate to see it because it puts us in a awkward position and I hate to see this happen, but I cannot blame them for bailing.
What a shame. No one that they meet in the future will ever be able to share with them all of the memories that they have, or be able to share their love for their children with them. Very sad.
Some of my wife’s friends married men ten or twenty years older than themselves. When they were in their 20s and he was in his 30s or 40s, their husbands were attractive to them and also provided a good income. Once their husbands got older, stinkier, uglier, and especially after they retire... the women get tired of putting up with them fairly quickly. That is the drawback to marrying a younger woman. If you are in this situation you probably need to be extra nice and accommodating and you still might have a problem.
Most women these days really don't care that much whether they have a man around or not, especially if they are employed or have some form of regular income. Men can easily be replaced with a dog, cat, horse, or just the companionship of other women. Women don't care as much as men whether or not they are getting sex either... it just isn't as important to them.
This is a discussion that could go on for hundreds of pages, but it is most valuable as a reminder that if you are approaching this age group that your marriage could be more vulnerable than you think that it is. I know a lot of guys who feel like they were blindsided by divorce. If you want to stay married you have to offer more than a steady income. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much you do... your wife still may decide she doesn't want you when she reaches this age.
The year comes up, and she really wants to talk, she says for closure. I figure, okay. I tell her fine. She responds, "I have to cut all contact for my sanity and because I have a boyfriend I love now."
LOL! Don't throw me in that br'er patch, Br'er Fox!
We have seen a large number of these former wives and soon to be former wives.
Certain behavorial patterns often seem to be common:
Expensive hair stylists several times each month and weekly spa treatments, and the husband is never asked if he likes the new hair style. Who pays for these hair and spa sessions?
While keeping the above, the wife hires a personal fitness trainer who makes visits while the husband is working. Often, if the personal trainer is a young hunk, she and he become friends with benefits. The husband gets no benefirs. Again, who gets to pay for all of this improvement and her benefits?
Expensive dental work re braces and other cosmetic dental work. Dentists who provide these expensive services often have close to a dozen assistants working for them. So who is paying for their salaries? Again, who pays for this?
Expensive clothing is now necessary for her new figure and hair. Talbots may not be expensive enough. Again who pays for this?
The, “I need to find my self which includes, expensive education courses that really don’t insure a good job.” Weekly nights out with their women friends and a couple of trips each year to Vegas or somewhere else, where what happens stays there. Often they go shopping for the new and very expensive clothes, they need. Again, who pays for this?
Yelling and screaming until the kiddy commute van is traded in for a luxury car. Again, who pays for this?
Then, often, the improved one gets a low paying job inspite of all of her improvement. The low paying job seems to be very demanding. She leaves early and comes home late, too tired to have much to do with the husband. Again/still, he has no benefits. Her salary doesn’t really cover her new work expenses and in particuliar her expensive work clothes, lunches/dinners without the husband and of course commuting costs.
Then, the wife trades up for a co worker, boss or a supposedly richer friend in their group. Gets a divorce and doesn’t remarry. Again, who pays for all of this.
Later, the former wife becomes a cougar and dumps the new lover. Or new lover drops her for a new improved model, then, then, she becomes a cougar, often living in the orginal husband’s home and still driving the luxury car he bought for her. Of course, he still is paying monthly support payments, so she can maintain her new improved life style, Again, who pays for all of this.
Of course, Oprah, the View and other anti husband tv shows have been great spiritual guides for these new improved, former wives.
My understanding was what drove women to divorce a man in his fifties was a grey ponytail, goatee, a pair of Birkenstocks and a tie-dyed tee shirt.
LOL. You said it, brother.
The next logical question is "How will they vent their frustration?"
Women in their 50s and 60s are deep into menopause. Unlikely they will attract young studs or whatever their fantasy is.
We used to call it the Thanksgiving massacre when freshman at the college went home and their parents tell them about the divorce. Makes for a tough year.
The other Thanksgiving massacre is when the freshman goes home and tells the parents that he/she is attracted to the same sex.
Sometimes they massacre each other.
99% of divorces are the result of serious misconduct by the husband and/or the wife...or.....serious selfishness/shallowness by either one,or both.