Posted on 03/23/2012 3:20:25 PM PDT by nickcarraway
A man who was heard yelling obscenities at his cat was cited by police in Chaska, Minn.
According to the city’s police department, neighbors called in, complaining of the noise.
The man, who was not identified, admitted to authorities that he had been swearing loudly at the cat.
His defense to officers was that he is “human.”
Police said this is not the first time the man had been warned or cited for disorderly conduct.
He was issued a new citation for disorderly conduct for the recent incident.
You’re right, not really my style. If your dog killed one of my cats I’d hit him with my Ruger 77 .204 just like any other varmint before he took his next dump.
But, you’re probably lucky enough not to have anyone in your neighborhood who really cares about their cat.
You’d shoot someone’s dog in their fenced backyard because you were irresponsible enough to allow your cat to roam loose in the neighborhood resulting in the cat jumping into the fenced area with the dog?
Several questions,concerns and statements arise from this....
1. You have many issues and problems outside of cat ownership....seek help....really...
2. I’m glad I’m not your neighbor...
3. A .204 is a terrible caliber choice......definitely brings your judgement on all issues into question......
Sorry, I also enjoy cheap puns.
Yes. I would definitely shoot your dog in your yard. Yes, I know I have “issues” - I like my cat . . . a lot.
Blam. Take him to the garbage dump. Done. One less varmint in the neighborhood. Then, you can spend the day trying to get the local constable to spring for ballistics testing and a search warrant to make something of it. My bet, they will ring every doorbell within the block and then tell you they have done what they can.
And, the 204 is a perfect caliber for the job. Shows what you know.
This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet cat in his mouth. The cat is very dead and the guy panics.
He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed-up cat into the house, gives it a bath, blow-dries its fur, and puts the cat back on the porch at the neighbor’s house, hoping that they will think it died of natural causes.
A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, “Did you hear that Fluffy died?”
The guy stumbles around and says, “Um.. no.. um.. what happened?”
The neighbor replies, “We just found him dead in the kitchen one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him we went outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him on our porch. There must be some real sick people out there!”
Nice pic!
How do you make a dead dog go ‘woof’?
With a can of gasoline and a match
A man is taking his Rottweiller out for a walk. It is a hot day and after a while he decides to go into a bar for a drink. The bartender tells him dogs are not allowed and he must tie it up outside.
After a few drinks a woman walks into the bar and asks if someone has a large dog out front. He proudly states “Yes, it is my Rottweiller, why do you ask”?
She blurts out “It’s dead”. Stunned the man asks “Did you hit it with your car”? She replies “No, my dog killed it”.
Knowing how powerful a dog the Rottweiller is he poses the question to her “Pit-bull”? “No, I have a Chihuahua” came the answer.
Puzzled he asked “How did your Chihuahua kill my Rottweiller?!” She replies “Well, I’m no vet, but I’d think she got stuck in his throat.”
LOL!
Clever headline writer but the reality is he got a ticket for yelling loudly enough to be heard by the neighbors, disorderly conduct, the target of his yelling is beside the point.
"Burying my dead goldfish".
"That's a pretty big hole you dug for a goldfish"
"That's because he's inside your godd-mn cat"
:)
How about this one. An old joke, but still funny:
A man runs into the vet’s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.
The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog’s body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog’s body and finally looks at the vet and meows. The vet looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too.”
The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.
The vet brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too.”
The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, “$650.”
“$650 to tell me my dog is dead?” exclaimed the man....
“Well,” the vet replies, “I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests.”
That is a great one!
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