This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet cat in his mouth. The cat is very dead and the guy panics.
He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed-up cat into the house, gives it a bath, blow-dries its fur, and puts the cat back on the porch at the neighbor’s house, hoping that they will think it died of natural causes.
A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, “Did you hear that Fluffy died?”
The guy stumbles around and says, “Um.. no.. um.. what happened?”
The neighbor replies, “We just found him dead in the kitchen one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him we went outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him on our porch. There must be some real sick people out there!”
How do you make a dead dog go ‘woof’?
With a can of gasoline and a match