Posted on 02/04/2012 4:42:50 PM PST by bkopto
HUNTINGTON, W.Va. - A college student claims he was injured when a fraternity member in a "drunken stupor" decided "that it would be a good idea to shoot bottle rockets out of his a***," and did so, "but instead of launching, the bottle rocket blew up in the defendant's rectum, and this startled the plaintiff and caused him to jump back," and fall off the fraternity's deck.
Louis Helmburg III sued The Alpha Tau Omega Fraternity Inc., of Huntington, West Virginia, and Travis Hughes, a fraternity member, in Cabell County Court.
Helmburg claims - in a statement it would be difficult to deny - that "firing bottle rockets out of one's own anus constitutes an 'ultra-hazardous' activity," which exposes both defendants to strict liability.
Helmburg says he suffered pain and medical expenses, and lost playing time on the Marshall University baseball team. He claims the Alpha Tau deck from which he fell lacked a railing, which violated Huntington building codes.
Helmburg says the fiasco came at about 1:30 a.m. on May 1, 2011, at an Alpha Tau house party he attended with his girlfriend.
"Several of the people in attendance at said house party were under the legal drinking age, including defendant Travis Hughes," the complaint states. "Most of the persons in attendance at said house party were also consuming alcohol with the full knowledge and consent of the ATO fraternity."
Several Alpha Tau members were on the deck when Hughes got his bright idea, including one or more fraternity officers, Helmburg says.
The complaint states: "Defendant Hughes was highly intoxicated on this date and time, and decided in his drunken stupor that it would be a good idea to shoot bottle rockets out of his anus on the ATO deck, located on the back of the ATO house. ...
"Defendant Hughes placed a bottle rocket in his anus, ignited the fuse, but instead of launching, the bottle rocket blew up in the defendant's rectum, and this startled the plaintiff and caused him to jump back, at which time he fell off of the ATO deck, and he became lodged between the deck and an air conditioner unit adjacent the deck.
"There was no railing on said deck at the time of the incident. Upon information and belief, the lack of a railing had existed for at least several months, if not years, before the incident. Upon further information and belief, the deck never had a railing when it was installed, or any time thereafter. The subject deck was approximately 3-4 feet high."
Helmburg says Alpha Tau negligently failed to supervise its guests and members, "such as defendant Hughes, and other under age persons, from consuming alcohol on its premises, which leads to stupid and dangerous activities, such as shooting bottle rockets out of one's own anus."
As for Hughes, Helmburg says, "Defendant Hughes also owed plaintiff and others on the ATO deck a duty of care not to drink under age, or to fire bottle rockets out of his anus."
It is unclear from the 5-page complaint whether Hughes was injured, or how badly, when the bottle rocket exploded in his rectum.
Helmburg seeks damages for negligence and strict liability.
He is represented by Timothy Rosinsky of Huntington.
Its all fun and games until the lawyers get involved...
Obviously, you have not hung around biker chicks much.
Heck, my wife would have lit the fuse!
What!? How did you get out of elementary school without knowing what a bottle rocket is?
Heck, we even had a few cherry bombs and M-80s. You could still get them in SC c. 1970, and our next door neighbors hailed from there.
“I could be mistaken here but I think you’re supposed to stick the skinny, long wood end into your anus and not the short, stubby, fused cardboard end. This might even be worth double-checking before the fuse is lit.”
Thank you coloradan, something about the way you said that just set me off into hoo-haw, tear-leaking laughter.
As to the original question, in the day I lived by the axiom that “No Irishman is ever drunk, so long as he can hold on to a single blade of grass and not fall off the face of the earth”. Yes, I’ve been “that” drunk, but shoving a rocket up me arse, either end, never ocurred to me.
This jerk had to be on that deck to watch the show so he should not be suing anybody.
Friends and fraternity brothers don’t let friends and fraternity brothers shoot rockets out of their anus.
I witnessed some major poor party etiquette at the ATO house in my long and booze fueled college career but the anal bottle rocket is definitely a new twist on dumbazz.
Caught one one time in my pocket, where the fire crackers were. It was quick and painful!
You're working on the presumption that he had any brains to begin with.
It seems Mr. bottle rocket launcher is a wee bit too comnfortable sticking things in his anus. It takes a special person to give that a first, much less a second thougt.
It’s a free country.
“The complaint states: “Defendant Hughes was highly intoxicated on this date and time, and decided in his drunken stupor that it would be a good idea to shoot bottle rockets out of his anus on the ATO deck, located on the back of the ATO house. ...
“Defendant Hughes placed a bottle rocket in his anus, ignited the fuse, but instead of launching, the bottle rocket blew up in the defendant’s rectum, and this startled the plaintiff and caused him to jump back, at which time he fell off of the ATO deck, and he became lodged between the deck and an air conditioner unit adjacent the deck.
See...the problem is the ATOs..............and some complete moron who decided to try to shoot a bottle rocket out of his butt.
Other than that, the UofWVA is completely stupid.
I hope that the plaintiff will be so inspired by this incident as to take a physics course.
“There was no railing on said deck at the time of the incident. Upon information and belief, the lack of a railing had existed for at least several months, if not years, before the incident. Upon further information and belief, the deck never had a railing when it was installed, or any time thereafter. The subject deck was approximately 3-4 feet high.”
Stoopid undergrad.
I hope he learns not to shoot explosives out of his anus. Wouldn’t bet on it, though.
What is the over and under on that bet? lol
I hope not but you never know.
Louis Helmburg III sued The Alpha Tau Omega Fraternity Inc., of Huntington, West Virginia, and Travis Hughes, a fraternity member, in Cabell County Court.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
hehehehehe
Yea and chode, I know EXACTLY which frat house that is at Marshall University!!!
and it's not even the guy with the blown out butt...
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