Posted on 01/02/2012 12:19:40 PM PST by illiac
Today from the random-stuff file… Discovery News reminds us that in 2002, British social scientists set out to find the funniest joke in the world.
Researchers from the University of Herfordshire started a “LaughLab” program to test jokes in a cross-cultural context across all demographics. They asked people around the world to submit jokes — and to rate how funny they found jokes submitted by peers.
The winner worldwide? This little gem submitted by a psychiatrist in Manchester, England. It involves hunters in New Jersey — maybe British hunters just aren’t as funny.
(Excerpt) Read more at blog.seattlepi.com ...
Barak Obama says. “Take my wife.. please!”
“Mommy, Mommy, why am I going in Circles?!”
“Shut up, kid, or I’ll nail your OTHER foot to the floor!”
THAT’s the one!
The Smith couple has dear neighbor friends of over 30 years, a Mr. & Mrs. Jones.
One day Mrs. Smith sadly informs Mr. Smith that Mrs. Jones has died.
2 months later she indignantly inform Mr. Smith that Mr. Jones has been seen dating another woman already.
Only a month later she updates that Mr. Jones is engaged to marry his new love and in fact, she has already moved in with Mr. Jones.
Mrs. Smith if further frustrated by her husbands lack of concern regarding this outrage and begins pressing her husband:
She -”If something happened to me, would you remarry so quickly?”
He - “It all depends dear...you never know...”
She - “Well! You wouldn’t let her move into OUR house, would you?”
He - “This is a nice house and we’ve put a lot of work into it.”
She - “Well! You wouldn’t let her sleep in OUR bed would you?”
He - “We only bought the bed 2 years ago, it’s perfectly fine.”
She - “Well! You wouldn’t let her use MY golf clubs would you?”
He - “Oh no dear....she’s left handed....”
:)
That pic of the Kenyan at the link ruined it for me........
obama walks into a bar with a parrot perching on his shoulder. The bartender says, “That’s pretty cool. Where’d you get it?”
The parrot say, “Kenya.”
Wot? It's not a joke?
Sort of liked Emo Phillips religious joke a few years ago judged best.
“Emo Philips
The Guardian, Wednesday 28 September 2005 Article history This morning I received thrilling news: a joke I wrote more than 20 years ago has been voted the funniest religious joke of all time! In case you’ve missed it, here it is:
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”
He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?” He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me, too! What franchise?” He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?” He said, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”
He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I said, “Me, too!”
Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.” I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.
Three nuns get into a car accident, and unfortunately die.
(at this point the muslims would laugh.)
They arrive at the pearly gates to find St. Peter there to greet them.
St Peter says, “Welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I have to ask you each a question about the bible. If you answer it correctly, you’ll get into heaven.”
The nuns look at each other, a little nervously as they didn’t expect this. But knowing a lot about the bible and their faith, they all nod an “ok”.
St Peter asks the first nun, “What was the name of the first man?” The nun answered back, “Adam.” St Peter smiled and said, “Correct, sister, enter into paradise.”
The second nun stepped up. St Peter asked “And what was the name of the place the first man lived?” the second nun smiled and said, “The Garden of Eden.” St Peter said “Correct my dear, enter into heaven.”
Now the third nun was their Mother Superior, and she approached St Peter. He said, “Now, since you are a Mother Superior, I have to ask you a tougher question than the first two.” If the elder nun was worried, she hid it well.
St. Peter paused a second, and said, “What was the first thing Eve said when she saw Adam?”
The Mother Superior stroked her chin as she was thinking about the answer and said “My, that’s a hard one.”
St Peter said “Correct, my dear, enter into paradise.”
Guy comes upon his buddy in the desert, sick and near death after a snake bite on his penis. He dials 911 for help, asks the operator what to do. “First thing, you have to suck the venom out” says the operator.
Guy goes over to his sick friend, who asks “What did they say”?
“She says your going to die”.
I thought the same thing, and then I realized the editor put that specific picture in that specific article to make that specific point.
Then I really laughed.
Two Irish guys walk out of a bar.
Hey, it could happen.
[snicker] [chortle] [wheeze] BAHAAHAAHAAAAAA!!! *thud*
Obama walks into a bar, got a great big colorful parrot on his shoulder.
Barkeep walks up and says,”Man, that’s really cool. Where’d ya get it?”
Parrot says, “Africa. There’s millions of ‘em.”.
Crap like this is why the world is in such disrepair. They probably decided to take on this project after they felt satisfied with their work on global warming.
I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead. (Laura Kightlinger)
Two Irishman walk out of a bar.....................no, really, it can happen
Two Auburn students were riding around in their pickup drinking when they ran out of gas. So, they started walking. After a mile or so they hear this rustling in the bushes beside the road. So, they go over to check it out. There’s a goat, with its head stuck in a hogwire fence.
So, Joe Bob tells Billy Bob, “hey man you thinking what I’m thinking?”. Billy Bob just nods his head. Joe Bob walks over to the goat, drops his pants and has relations with the goat!
Joe Bob finishes with the goat then tells Billy Bob “now it’s your turn.” So, Billy Bob walks over, drops his drawers ....... and sticks his head through the fence....
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