Posted on 12/24/2011 9:20:50 AM PST by SeekAndFind
Spanking has declined precipitously in American society, particularly among the educated. Darshak Sanghavi explores why:
Several experts with whom I spoke pointed to tougher laws on child abuse (that is, fear of prosecution), greater use of no-spanking day-care centers and nannies by two profession couples, or beliefs that spanking causes long-term psychological harm. But these don't necessarily support the personal experience of many parents. At my medical center, for example, I recently interviewed dozens of pediatricians and subspecialists about their own experience, and many recalled being whipped with belts, slapped in the face, or hit in other ways as children. Yet not a single one hit his or her own children today as a routine method of discipline. None of the above explanations seemed on target to them. Instead, they chose not to spank for an entirely practical reason: They had, they said, learned more effective ways of disciplining children.
That knowledge didn't come from their health-care providers. As with many pediatrics residencies, mine included nothing on the practical aspects of parenting. And studies show that pediatricians spend only a few seconds during checkups talking about how to discipline a child. Instead, modern practices of child discipline are conveyed through books, television shows, and other forms of popular culture that have shifted parenting norms. When my wife was pregnant with our first child, we sought out books like How To Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen so Kids Will Talk that followed the path first blazed by Benjamin Spock and T. Berry Brazelton. Mass-marketed child care guides, along with popular shows like ABC's Supernanny (praised even in the august pages of the journal Pediatrics), offered an immersive curriculum on disciplining children without hitting them.
(Excerpt) Read more at theatlantic.com ...
Loving discipline including spanking down, abusiveness up.
We live in an increasingly feminized society. I’ll just leave it at that.
“Reasoning” with children and becoming their “friend” is what bubbleheaded parents do now. Mostly out of guilt because they drop them off at day cares and see little of them.
“Reasoning” with children and becoming their “friend” is what bubbleheaded parents do now. Mostly out of guilt because they drop them off at day cares and see little of them.
Interesting how we’ve spared the rod and we now have the most narcisistic generation to date. They all require trophies, or someone else’s wealth, and if they don’t get it they will crap on police cars. Has the child been spoiled? As a side note, spanking was not working with our son so we are now using a time-out chair. It works like a charm.
Golly. I spanked my granddaughter yesterday. The parents don’t object, since I’m the only one she obeys...
“Even Benjamin Spock admitted that he was totally wrong before he died!
Spare the rod and spoil the child is still true!
Yep - the Bible says that he who spares the rod, hates his son. It's not a suggestion to beat the tar out of your kids, but it expresses that without meting out discipline to teach right from wrong, you are doing your child a great disservice.
By a curious coincidence, T. Berry Brazleton was my wife’s pediatrician for our first child. And we got to know Benjamin Spock later from several encounters in the summer islands of Maine.
Nevertheless, we spanked our children occasionally, when it seemed the thing to do. It can be overdone. But, no question, many or most modern parents fail to discipline their children, and have done so ever since the cultural revolution of the 70s. It is well intentioned, but true love for their welfare requires that they learn discipline when they are younger, and in due course from that, self-dicipline.
But it is hard to expect that they will grow up self-disciplined when their parents and perhaps grandparents are not.
There is a difference between corporal punishment and assault, but since Eric Holder’s people are incapable of discerning the difference, zero tolerance must prevail.
I spanked all my kids - - once or twice each, at most. If you do it early, after that the threat alone is good enough because they know you will follow through.
Social animals “spank” their offspring. They will swat or nip at a little one just enough to get its attention and to make it behave. And with good reason. A little critter that doesn’t pay attention to the mother won’t get its share of the food or might become food for another critter.
Yet I’m 54 and was rarely spanked by a male figure. [’cept at school and that was about 50/50]
Exactly!
Also, there is a huge downside to playing psychological games: Kids often draw exactly the wrong conclusion. A spanking inherently makes them realize they have a choice. Many non-physical punishments may be ambiguous. Withdrawal of a privilege, for example, may often be necessary when no discipline is needed. Time-outs confuse the issue when children need to be still and quiet.
Often manipulation makes them avoid the choice altogether. They do what you want because you steered them in that direction. They don't learn that some choices are inherently wrong.
I have also seen children draw the conclusion that they are inherently flawed in such a way that they are incapable of making a correct choice.
A spanking lets them deal with the world the way it is in a way that even young children can understand: Make good choices or suffer consequences. That not only marks the distinction between right and wrong, but smart and not smart.
Have the parents managed to deduce that the occasional and well timed/earned spanking and this factoid may be somehow related?
Any discussion of corporal punishment should include the concept of individualized approach.
Each child is different, and each should be treated differently.
The biggest obstacle to rational analysis is that parents are becoming dumber.(generally)
It is a bad scene when the children are smarter than their parents.
Designer has observed that some kids need it, some don't. Some situations demand it, some call for more of a casual response. There is an age at which spanking is no longer effective. Miss that early training stage, and the opportunity is lost.
I never had to spank my son, but I gave up even thinking about spanking him when he got big enough to hunt bears with a switch.
His big joke now is “Remember, I’ll choose your nursing home. How would you like to spend out your days at The Frigidaire Arms in a refrigerator box?” Takes after his mother.
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