Posted on 11/29/2011 1:01:34 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
After dropping off their children at their East Side private school one morning, Betsy and another mother shared a secret. “It was one of those things where you circle around each other,” Betsy remembers. “I assumed they had a pretty conventional marriage.”
By that she means, as with most of the other families at the school, the other woman’s husband was a chest-beating breadwinner who set off for Wall Street each morning in his Town Car to bring home the six- or seven-figure bacon. Or, alternatively, both husband and wife slaved away at medium-to-high-powered jobs, neglecting their children, to pay for the August rental in the Hamptons and their $25,000-per-kid tuition bills.
The embarrassing truth the other mother confided to Betsy was that she was her family’s sole support. She worked in advertising while her spouse, an “artist”—predominantly in his own imagination, since he had not a single gallery show nor even a commission to show for his talent—puttered around the house. “She kind of indicated they were living on her money, and I was surprised,” Betsy says.
And perhaps a little relieved. Betsy thought she was the only mother in their grade supporting a stay-at-home husband—especially one who refused to polish the surfaces. “It’s like one of those things,” she says, “where you realize you’re married to people who drink.”
Well into feminism’s second generation, there are finally a significant number of women reaching parity with the men in their fields—not to mention surpassing them—and winning the salary, bonuses, and perks that signify their arrival...
(Excerpt) Read more at nymag.com ...
I see what you’re getting at.
and I agree
I am ALPHA MALE...period...unless she's an heiress then I will not be second fiddle earner wise if I can help it
I cannot fathom it....
“Have a nice day honey, I'll be by the pool” “Can I have that new Dodge Ram honey ..can I ...can I?”..."Yes dear I'll wear that special outfit tonight and shave good...even the back of my neck and be the tiger you need after a hard day's work paying for my food and toys"
I mean...you have got to be kidding.
So glad I am Old School. Southern Man...and screw Neil Young
Nevertheless, recently, and since those books and the current edition of Patriot's History were published, some new research has come out on women and their perceptions of wealth.
One survey of a group of female interns found that none of them were willing to consider marriage to a physician who made less than them. In another test, the exact same male was rated for "attractiveness," once in sweat clothes/working clothes and once in an expensive suit with a nice watch. Women tended to rate the same man two to three points (on a scale of ten) more attractive when he was in the suit. In short, the princess marrying the plumber just doesn't happen.
When a culture is over-awed and the men are cowed into thinking that they cannot protect or provide for their families, then they, the men fall into depression and seek refuge in alcohol
Man's role is as bread-winner. Maybe the wife would be BETTER at earning money. No matter. If the man does not feel like he is contributing as the head of the family, more than likely he degenerates.
I don’t disagree. I also don’t see any way modern economic circumstances will continue to allow the vast majority of men to automatically continue to earn significantly more than their wives.
In pre-modern times most women spent at least 2/3, often all, of their lives caring directly for children. For modern women this has dropped to at most, even for those who don’t work outside the home, perhaps 10 to 20 years.
So what is an woman supposed to do with the other 40 to 60 years of her adult life?
Gilder’s books from the 70s and 80s are amazingly predictive of our present problems. And they were predictive before most of those problems even began to develop significantly.
But they are ignored because they are so amazingly non-PC.
There are plenty of women who are lazy and shiftless. But I do agree with you. There does seem to be a stronger trend of men who never get a job and grow up, particularly game addicts.
I’m not sure what the diagnosis is; maybe it’s perception bias because most women without self-discipline end up with children and are either forced to grow up or they “fake” respectability through the endless layer of entitlements available to single parents?
One thing I have also noticed is that people (male and female) who were brought up under "less than adequate" circumstances seem to be more willing to roll up their sleeves and get the job done. This is true in my (alpha) stated case. Those brought up in opulence, with mommy and daddy providing all the things they DIDN'T have, are the ones who tend to become the deadbeats. They may have sparkle on the surface, but it's only skin-deep. By the time a potential mate sees to the core, it's too late and they're trapped...
Women are valuable adds to the workforce, there is no doubt, but society needs to also value those who WORK at home -- being a "housewife" is a more difficult job than going to the office.
you are correct. it ties down to the degradation of marriage and to the way in which education attempts to feminize boys AND to the contrasting culture in which boys are supposed to remain boys until past 18
If being “a housewife” is a more difficult job than going to the office, why is it important that the husband earn somewhere near his wife’s salary? Why shouldn’t he fill the “more difficult” job of taking care of the home?
Seems to me your two points contradict each other.
work at home is mostly monotonous, yet stressful and physical. It is daily operations and if one compares the job of a homemaker to say a 1920s Ford assembly line worker, then work at home is more difficult imho
Compared to say the job of a secretary, it is difficult in a different way.
Why is it important? Because of man's sense of worth.
“Have a nice day honey, I’ll be by the pool” “Can I have that new Dodge Ram honey ..can I ...can I?”...”Yes dear I’ll wear that special outfit tonight and shave good...even the back of my neck and be the tiger you need after a hard day’s work paying for my food and toys”
LOLOL!
You are a REAL man, and I know that Annette is the beneficiary. ;o)
BTW, I wouldn’t like shopping with you. lol
You would in a good year trust me...nice shoes with red soles and all that fun stuff..I spend like a drunk sailor on my women when I have it
This is not a good year obviously...is it for anyone except federal govt workers?
Seriously though...I simply could not depend on my wife baring tragedy to provide for me while I played manny to the kids and cleaned house and cooked and all that...man...I can;'t imagine
I lived with an heiress, it never came up really except her family had digs everywhere from NYC to Miami to Kingston and London etc which we enjoyed but for living expenses I still paid at least half...it's in my DNA
Women being encouraged to work outside the home has been as big a destroyer of the family as anything
I blame the pill...and so does LS’s book here
great chapters on that
It is not a good thing...maybe a necessary thing at times especially if a sorry man leaves the wife but it is not better or valuable...no way
Women as at home moms is so much better for spawn...every study that has ever been done proves it and all one need do is look around
I am old enough to remember when things were different
No...I wouldn’t like shopping with you.
You are so good to your women, but I’m not a girly woman.
Unless you want to buy me a brand new tricked out Jeep. I think that would be appropriate for my new digs. ;o)
“manny”
Too cute! And, that is one role you will absolutely never play.
You are too much of a man for that.
You are SO right!
In the 70s, you wouldn’t believe how much pressure there was to be Super Women.
According to the feminazis, we could hold down full time jobs, raise acceptable children, keep the house, and do the laundry........because we were THAT good.
Hogwash! What propaganda!
I tried it, and I was dead tired all of the time.
The one thing that they wanted to eliminate from the household was the husband. They wanted women to think that we could do everything on our own with no help from any man.
They are primarily responsible for the mess our adult children are in.
How many grandmas and grandpas do you see at the mall with young children? They are raising them because the generation in between is messed up.
I lay that at the feet of the feminazis.
bump
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