Posted on 11/14/2011 10:23:46 AM PST by smokingfrog
Woe to you, oh modern card-carrying homophobe. For it can't be easy to be you right now, what with all the terrifying changes taking place, all the dramatic sexual upheavals and flagrant displays of "unnatural" love being hurled like exotic sushi in your plain hamburger face these days. Oh, you poor dear.
I see you there, glumly sipping your Starbucks gingerbread latte while Googling Swedish fetish porn in between checking the latest news on NASCAR.com in your lightly stained Dockers and beat-up Nikes, Cartoon Network blaring in the background, tattered copy of Shooters Monthly on the bedside.
I see you there, mumbling angrily at how New York has had legal gay marriage for four whole months and so far, no hellfire, chaos, no petrified Christian children melting into goo in the streets. I see you horrified at how seven other states and 10 countries are thriving happily with gay marriage, God apparently not really giving the slightest damn about how anyone expresses their consensual, reverential, wholehearted love, so long as they just do.
To be fair, I suppose it's too soon to tell if the end of DADT means our valiant U.S. military, during our next war, will end up offering the enemy a giant cupcake disco meth party, instead of kicking ass and keeping those pinko commie terrorists from poisoning the beer supply and stealing your HBO.
Did I say HBO? What a shame you have to give that up, no? Same goes for all those other brands, shows, shoes and companies I mentioned above, given how they all openly disrespect you and everything you stand for. Or haven't you heard?
(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...
Mike
Written by a Penn Stater?
More than I ever imagined.
I would count them, but I need to check the latest NASCAR standings and then get back to my Shooting Illustrated mag.
Mark Morford -—> Teddy Walmart???
Notice you don’t see them in the same room together...Kinda makes you go hmmmmmmmmmm...
I’ve got a fool proof (but disgusting) method of proving that everyone is a “homophobe.”
Walk around with human feces visibly smeared on your hand. Attempt to shake hands with others. Record reaction.
Bam...instant “homophobes,” just like me. Playing in human waste is an aberration, it isn’t normal.
We must consider the source.
Then we must get out the disinfectant, vaccines, etc, etc.
This whole article is gay. Seriously gay. It’s so gay... it is a disability. Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay AND gay!
Mark Morford?!?!?
I thought that pathetic bag o’ sh*t had died of AIDS.
They Google and Gargle different stuff.
Gee, the author seems to effortlessly combine the most telling attributes of a mean theater critic, a New Jersey guido, a racist po’bucker, and a misogynistic fashion designer into one big, gooey ball of snarky, homophilic hate. I bet he pictures himself a modern day Oscar Wilde.
“She thinks she’s trendy. We know she’s just trashy.”
Remind me again why it is bad to pour bleach into your eyes?!? I feel like I need a stout disinfectant.
Who is (was?) that FReeper that used to post this deviant’s bile...the keywords he collected cracked me up!
Dilute the meaning of grown homosexual men lusting after each others anuses - Use "purifying" synonyms to dissolve the vileness, disgust, and the filth, of the behavior, and leave an "antiseptic" illusion in it's place.
Use, for example, a pleasant word like "Gay" when referring to the behavior instead.
Scorn and ridicule are all the Gaystapo have. Seems obvious which side is wallowing in hatred, this dork can’t get enough.
Hmmm...I don’t use any of those products he lists and I never knew they were anti anti homo.
Are you not furious, righteous Republican homophobe? I bet you are. I bet you're dialing your angriest, most confused buds right this moment to write letters, post barely punctuated rants to the hate forums on Free Republic, call in to Rush to demand a Tea Party-wide boycott of every single one of these sicko companies.
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