Posted on 11/04/2011 5:30:37 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled and asks, "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
The woman replies, "Its Keith, the midget."
Q. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
A. The position of the dirt bag.
Q. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
A. Doughnuts.
Q. What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?
A. 100 people who don't do dick.
Q. What do attorneys use for birth control?
A. Their personalities.
Q. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
A. 45 lbs.
Q. How do you teach a blond math?
A. Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, and square root her.
Q. What did the pedophile say when he got out of jail?
A. I feel like a kid again!
Q. What's the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before he leaves the factory?
A. Two test tickles
Q. Why did God create alcohol?
A. So ugly people would have a chance to have sex.
Q. What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman?
A. Sexual harassment.
Q. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
A. $3.99 a minute.
Q. What's the speed limit of sex?
A. 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.
Q. What is the difference between great literature and pornography?
A. Literature is frequently dusty but rarely dirty.
Q. Why does a squirrel swim on its back?
A. To keep its nuts dry.
Q. What did one tit say to the other?
A. I hope we get support soon or people will think we're nuts.
Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A. When the kids are in college.
Q. Why do midgets laugh when they run?
A. Because the grass tickles their balls!
Teacher turns to her class and says "Today class, we are going to pick out some BIG words and use them in a sentence. Jenny would you like to go first?"
"Yes Ma'am. Hypocrite. That boy was a hypocrite. He said it was not OK to go outside and play. Then he went out to play"
"Very Good Jenny!"
Little Johnny jumps up in the back of the room waving his hands. "Yes Johnny" "I have a big one!" He exclaimed.
Sighing the teacher holds her hands together and prays silently, "Go ahead Johnny" she says.
"Harassment! " says Little Johnny, "Her mouth said NO, but harassment yes!"
Make sure you watch it until after the credits.... sound on...
http://vimeo.com/user4110239/bob-film
Have you heard about the new Herman Cain Accuser doll?
You pull her string and 15 years later she talks.
THAT WAS EPIC! Posted if to my FB page. My husband did a job in Hawaii many years ago for Mr. Carlsberg. Said he was a super nice guy and always had beers for them at the end of the day! Looking forward to showing this to him!
I was just trying to get her attention, honest!
“I called a suicide hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked me if I could drive a truck,” he said.
I hope that little fellow doesn’t plan to be the GOP nominee for President when he grows up...
“’Ain't’? Where's your grammar?”
“She's in the kitchen washin’ dishes.”
I actually lol’ed. Thanks
Here’s a couple more bumper stickers:
U.S. Marines - Counselors for the 72 Virgins Dating Club
1 shot, 12 kills - U.S. Navy Gunfire Support
Happiness is a belt fed weapon
Boyohboy! Do I every need some Silly! LOL!
I’d do it! LOL!
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