Posted on 09/23/2011 12:20:44 PM PDT by Scythian
Has anybody tried this near Perry and watched his response, I often wonder, would he pass the test ...
How to Determine whether or not a person is a true Texan
I’m worried he would pull his sidearm out and fire it into the air!
LOL I didn’t realize Pee-Wee Herman could actually be funny. That clip reminded me of Danny Kaye-type humor.
You have ever rebuilt a motor in the Pep Boys parking lot.
Every time someone sees your car the first thing they say is "what happened to the paint?"
You know how to get more than 3 baby seats into a sedan.
Your idea of cruise control involves a Cinder Block.
You have washed your entire car with a gas station squeegee.
You've ever ridden on a luggage rack. (hold muy beer!)
You've ever listed "Fuzzy Dice" on an insurance claim.
Your wife thinks you drive a CH V O ET.
You've held the hood of your car open with your head while you worked on the engine.
None of the four tires on your truck are the same brand.
You blow your nose and check the oil with the same rag but not in that order.
You have more tools in your floorboard than in your toolbox.
You've found that your truck gets 15 miles more to the gallon because you cleaned the trash out of it.
You've ever had to help get a Camaro out of a tree; you've ever been at least partially responsible for it being in a tree.
Your kids can sketch Richard Petty from memory.
You have ever ran car parts through the dishwasher.
You keep a chainsaw in the trunk--"just in case."
The most effective form of advertisement for you is painted on the side of a car that is going 200mph in a circle.
You can't remember your wife or kids' birthdays, but you know the date of every NASCAR event and who placed in the top 10 of each race and in what order.
You think the NASDAQ 400 is a French stock car race.
You've ever had a conversation about "truck tires" that lasted more than an hour.
Doing yard work involves calling a tow truck.
You've ever gotten carbon monoxide poisoning while driving your own vehicle.
You can't remember the color of you car's carpet because of all the fast-food wrappers.
You have ever broken a speed limit in reverse.
You've ever waited in line for 5 hours to see something jump over school buses.
You've ever used the words "I didn't know it was loaded" in an insurance claim.
Your tools are worth more than your car.
You neighbors call 911 every time you grill.
Your family business requires a "look out".
The nicest restaurant you've ever eaten at has Skeeball.
You have ever been afraid to strike a match in the bathroom after you used it.
You are familiar with Copenhagen, but have never heard of Denmark.
You've tightened more screws with your fingernail than with a screwdriver.
Your High School class voted you "most likely to return fire".
Every conversation you have ever had with a cop involved a megaphone.
The last time you picked up trash you were supervised by a guy with a shotgun and you were chained to two other people.
Your dinner was breathing just 4 hours before you ate it.
The only tree you've ever seen at Christmas has a deer stand in it.
Your bass boat has ever been involved in a police chase.
Three of those are actually true for me and I’m from Connecticut.
I knew the instant I saw this post that it was the Pee Wee clip. I just knew. See...spending much of my life in front of TV has finally paid off!
In VA, we have more class - but I have to cop to these -
You know how to get more than 3 baby seats into a sedan.
Your idea of cruise control involves a Cinder Block.
You have washed your entire car with a gas station squeegee.
You’ve ever ridden on a luggage rack. (hold muy beer!)
You’ve held the hood of your car open with your head while you worked on the engine.
None of the four tires on your truck are the same brand.
You blow your nose and check the oil with the same rag but not in that order.
You’ve ever had to help get a Camaro out of a tree; you’ve ever been at least partially responsible for it being in a tree.
You have ever ran car parts through the dishwasher.
You keep a chainsaw in the trunk—”just in case.”
You’ve ever had a conversation about “truck tires” that lasted more than an hour.
Doing yard work involves calling a tow truck.
You’ve ever gotten carbon monoxide poisoning while driving your own vehicle.
You have ever broken a speed limit in reverse.
Your tools are worth more than your car.
You neighbors call 911 every time you grill.
You’ve tightened more screws with your fingernail than with a screwdriver.
Your High School class voted you “most likely to return fire”.
Your dinner was breathing just 4 hours before you ate it.
The guy is an open-borders LBJ.
Not really a stretch. I was tubing down the Guadalupe a year or two ago, crowded weekend, things got a little quiet. Somebody sang out the same lyric and got the same response.
Your dinner was breathing just 4 hours before you ate it.
HEY!! I resemble that remark!
You Might be a Redneck Jedi If.....
* You ever heard the phrase, “May the force be with ya’ll.”
* Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
* You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
* At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
* You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.
* The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
* Wookies are offended by your B.O.
* You have ever used the Force to get yourself another beer so you didn’t have to wait for a commercial.
* You have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
* Your father has ever said to you, “Shoot, son come on over to the dark side... it’ll be a hoot.”
* You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
* You have a Confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.
* You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.
* Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.
* You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
* You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck.
* You were the only one drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.
* Your business cards read “Billy Bob, Jedi Master”.
* Your Y-wing fighter has a bumper sticker that reads “My other fighter is an X-wing”.
* You know Ewoks squeal like pigs.
* You use your R-2 unit as a beer coaster.
* When your sister wears her metallic bikini, you insist she travels by clinging to you while swinging on a rope.
* Your land-speeder had a light saber rack.
* Your land-speeder has a bumper sticker that reads “Protected by Smith & Wesson Light Sabers”
* If you hear ... “Billy Bob, I am your father ... AND your uncle!”
If he gets elected he would be the first President to return fire during an assassination attempt.
What about Andrew Jackson?
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