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Lesbian Steals Hearse With a Stiff Inside and Heads Toward Beaver
The Smoking Gun via IowntheWorld dot com ^ | September 21, 2011

Posted on 09/21/2011 3:15:30 PM PDT by Bean Counter

SEPTEMBER 21--Meet Angela DeHart.

The West Virginia woman, 23, is facing a pair of felony charges for allegedly stealing a hearse containing a body and driving home in it early yesterday.

According to police, the hearse--parked outside the Ritchie and Johnson Funeral Home in Beckley--was swiped shortly after midnight on Tuesday. The driver, cops reported, had briefly left the hearse unattended--with its door open--while he entered the funeral home.

The driver, Kenneth Bly, “pulled into the parking lot…in order to unload a corpse” from the 1996 Cadillac Fleetwood hearse, according to a court affidavit.

As Bly moved toward the funeral home’s entrance, he spotted DeHart, who “jumped into the vehicle.” Cops noted that, “Bly witnessed the defendant’s actions and yelled ‘Hey!’” DeHart, seen in the above mug shot, then “accelerated from the parking lot.”

The hearse was recovered several hours later in the vicinity of DeHart’s home in the nearby borough of Beaver. A witness had called cops to report that a “very emotional” DeHart “had just pulled up to his residence…and that the defendant had been operating a black hearse.”

The corpse, which had been laying inside a gurney in the hearse, “had been moved by some means and was laying on its side,” reported Detective Jamie Blume. The deceased was an 85-year-old woman.

When officers confronted DeHart early yesterday at her home, she reportedly confessed to boosting the hearse. DeHart, who celebrated her birthday Monday, told investigators that she had engaged in a verbal argument with her girlfriend and exited the vehicle in which they were traveling early Tuesday morning.

As she began walking, DeHart said she “observed the hearse running next to the funeral parlor. She advised that after taking the car, she drove it to Beaver” and contacted a friend seeking advice as to what she should do with the stolen wheels.

Charged with grand larceny and displacement of a dead body, both felonies, DeHart was booked into jail this afternoon. She is being held in lieu of $25,000 bail. (4 pages)


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Local News; Miscellaneous; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: corpse; crime; hearse; lesbian
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"I swear that I am not making this up."

Dave Barry

1 posted on 09/21/2011 3:15:38 PM PDT by Bean Counter
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To: Bean Counter

not gonna touch it . . . haha


2 posted on 09/21/2011 3:16:29 PM PDT by GOP Poet (Obama is an OLYMPIC failure.)
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To: Bean Counter

God I want to write headlines for a living. I do. I DO!!! :)


3 posted on 09/21/2011 3:18:52 PM PDT by GOP Poet (Obama is an OLYMPIC failure.)
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To: Bean Counter

A lesbian heading toward Beaver. Odd! Very odd!!


4 posted on 09/21/2011 3:27:34 PM PDT by davisfh
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To: Bean Counter

FWIW a nearby town is Big Stick, WV.


5 posted on 09/21/2011 3:28:07 PM PDT by re_nortex (DP...that's what I like about Texas.)
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To: davisfh

Especially with a stiff!


6 posted on 09/21/2011 3:28:38 PM PDT by MHGinTN (Some, believing they can't be deceived, it's nigh impossible to convince them when they're deceived.)
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To: MHGinTN

I though Lesbian’s didn’t care for stiffs.

I’m so confused.


7 posted on 09/21/2011 3:29:46 PM PDT by Scott from the Left Coast
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To: Bean Counter
Tomorrow's headlines today:

Stolen Stiff Found Stuck in Beaver!


8 posted on 09/21/2011 3:31:45 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Let us prey!)
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To: Scott from the Left Coast

A Lesbian??? A stiff??? Well this is certainly a hearse of a different color!!!


9 posted on 09/21/2011 3:32:44 PM PDT by Squeeky ("Truth is so rare that it is delightful to tell it. " Emily Dickinson)
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To: Bean Counter
I was going to respond to this a while ago, but it took some time to stop laughing and regain what little composure I have left.

Are you sure Dave Barry didn't write this?

10 posted on 09/21/2011 3:37:49 PM PDT by ken in texas (Can't Afford a Tagline... send money.)
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To: All

ROTFLOL......I love FReepers!!!


11 posted on 09/21/2011 3:38:09 PM PDT by CanadianYankee
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To: Bean Counter

Damn! What a headline!


12 posted on 09/21/2011 3:40:17 PM PDT by dragonblustar (Attaaaaaaaaack Waaaaaatch! Vigilancia de Ataque!!!!!!!!!)
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To: Bean Counter

Well they could have been heading for Exit 69 Big Beaver Road off of 75, North of Detroit. The same exit were Stabenow’s ex -husband had a trist with a lady of the evening....


13 posted on 09/21/2011 3:40:35 PM PDT by taildragger (( Palin / Mulally 2012 ))
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To: Revolting cat!

In the back of a Cadillac, too!


14 posted on 09/21/2011 3:42:32 PM PDT by MHGinTN (Some, believing they can't be deceived, it's nigh impossible to convince them when they're deceived.)
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To: Bean Counter

I’ll bet that is the stiffest thing she has been riding with in a long time.


15 posted on 09/21/2011 3:45:56 PM PDT by central_va ( I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: Scott from the Left Coast
"When officers confronted DeHart early yesterday at her home, she reportedly confessed to boosting the hearse" from the Johnson Funeral Home! The perp was distressed when she discovered the stiff was an 85 years old female. She is filing a claim against Johnson for false advertising.
16 posted on 09/21/2011 3:47:03 PM PDT by MHGinTN (Some, believing they can't be deceived, it's nigh impossible to convince them when they're deceived.)
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To: Bean Counter
Tomorrow afternoon headlines today:

Lesbian Steals Johnson Fun. Home's Stiff!


17 posted on 09/21/2011 3:47:38 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Let us prey!)
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To: Bean Counter

This has to be the frontrunner for “headline of the year.”


18 posted on 09/21/2011 3:52:22 PM PDT by GreenHornet
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To: Bean Counter

Oh this is rich!


19 posted on 09/21/2011 3:52:53 PM PDT by surroundedbyblue (Live the message of Fatima - pray & do penance!)
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To: Bean Counter

I could’ve sworn I read “Horse” not “Hearse” in that headline.

Either way, I’m confused!


20 posted on 09/21/2011 3:53:55 PM PDT by Uncle Miltie (Gore Lauds Romney on Climate Position; 0bamaCare was based on RomneyCare.)
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