Posted on 08/29/2011 7:18:08 AM PDT by Jewbacca
Last night, my wife, who is normally a lovely American-born Jewish girl, made me go to dinner with her judgmental, annoying, hyper-orthodox, cousin.
They dissapprove of my Israeli sharp toungue, IAF-inspired language, and occasional lapses in what they consider proper bearing and behavior of Jewish people.
Think: the "Church Lady" from SNL, but Jewish.
Anyway, they made my bride nervous. They make me nervous. I showed up in a seperate car because I had to work Sunday.
Well, my wife is on pins and needles, jumpy and worrisome because, well, they're mean to her, dissaprove of me, disapprove of our daughters, and dissaprove of pretty much everything.
Dinner was, suprisingly, OK. I killed a lovely bottle of kosher meritage over a 4 hour period, remained quiet, cussed only occasionaly (and in Yiddish, and when talking about Obama, which was OK). And, as everyone knows, if you can't say something nice about someone, say it in Yiddish.
After dinner, the in-laws's car would not start, which was discovered after I left with the kids and my wife was about to leave, necessitating "jump," which further discombobulated my wife.
(The in-laws car would not start because, well, they are idiots and left everything electronic on in their car and have a 6 year old battery in said car.)
After the jump was performed, I left with the kids.
Mrs. Jewbacca left at more-or-less the same time, and, because the SUV was parked funny to perform the jump, promptly backed into a poll, doing upwards of $2,500 to the rear end of my new Lexus SUV.
She called.
I told her "no big deal. Happens." I was not remotely mad at her, even though SHE WRECKED MY CAR.
As I was driving home, Jewbacca, Jr., asked me why Mrs. Jewbacca was acting so funny. I told Jr. (very gently)that said inlaws make Mama a little crazy and nervous.
Well, this was repeated by Jr. to mama later when we got home, probably in response to leading and angry questions, designed to get a response to have something to fight about.
And, suddenly, I am told I am a bad father who belittles my wife, and a complete Israeli putz with no manners.
Again, SHE WRECKED MY NEW CAR. And I was cool about it. And yet somehow, this was all my fault.
I should have married that crazy Lebanese chick with large tracts of land. ;-)
“Family. It’s a wonderful thing.”
*sigh* Can’t agree with you enough. Just gotta love them unconditionally — cuz anything else you WANT to do will just end involving law enforcement knocking on or kicking in your door :-)
Just keep blessing your wife and letting her know your love for her is stronger than any disapproval she gets from that(strong yiddish disapproval word*)cousin.
*since I don’t have access to my “Joys of Yiddish” I didn’t want to use the word I wanted without checking first that it meant what I thought. I’ve gotten in trouble before. . . .
Jewish American Princess *ping*
Where is it written you have to associate with people who set a bad example for your children and make you and your wife miserable?
Just because you have some sort of genetic connection doesn’t mean you are required to voluntarily subject yourself to their presence.
If they make you this unhappy, why not tell them to stay away? Who cares if it hurts their feelings? Apparently they have no problem hurting your wife’s.
“Let’s do the time warp agaaaain!”
No time warp.
I left with the kids -— she called my cell, I came back with the kids. I left again.
20 years.
“Where is it written you have to associate with people who set a bad example for your children and make you and your wife miserable?”
Tradition!
Now that right there was FUNNY
You obviously won't collect, but it will keep them away for a few years.
lol...
Won Ton = LOLOL.
Then there was the one about the Jewish couple who went to the deli and were greeted and waited on by a Chinese waiter who spoke to them only in near-perfect Yiddish. When the owner came over and asked how their meal was, they said it was great, “But how did it happen that the Chinese waiter speaks Yiddish?” The owner responded, “Shhh...he thinks I’m teaching him English.”
“Doesn’t matter how gently you said it or how angry you were about the car. She feels like the person who should be her biggest supporter just ditched her when things got tough.”
Oh, now you tell me. Where were you at 8:00?
This is YOUR fault! ;-)
Before you give it to her, add the following line to your hosts file:
127.0.0.1 www.freerepublic.com
Unix/Linux/MacOS: /etc/hosts
Windows: c:\windows\system32\drivers\etc\hosts
Mark
What will that do?
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