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The Bartender
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Posted on 07/29/2011 1:58:03 PM PDT by conservativegirl

A Damn fine story.....

So a guy goes into a bar, where there's a robot for a bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "I'll have a Martini." The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man,"What's your IQ?" The guy says, "168." The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology, etc etc

The guy leaves, but he is curious... So he goes back into the bar.

The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "A Martini." Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time..

He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini," and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then asks, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh, about 50.." The robot leans in real close and says, "So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?"


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS:
funny
1 posted on 07/29/2011 1:58:07 PM PDT by conservativegirl
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To: conservativegirl

lol


2 posted on 07/29/2011 2:01:06 PM PDT by GeronL (The Right to Life came before the Right to Happiness)
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To: conservativegirl

Bump.


3 posted on 07/29/2011 2:05:04 PM PDT by jimt
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To: conservativegirl

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.

All the typical answers came upfireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman... and so forth.

However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, “My father’s an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes to music in front of other men and they put money in his underwear”.

Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money.”

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little Justin aside to ask him, “Is that really true about your father?”

“No,” the boy said, “He works for the Democratic National
Committee and helped to get Obama elected, but that’s too
embarrassing to say in front of the other kids.”
.


4 posted on 07/29/2011 2:19:55 PM PDT by laterldf
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To: Inyo-Mono

Lol ping to myself.


5 posted on 07/29/2011 2:35:26 PM PDT by Inyo-Mono (My greatest fear is that when I'm gone my wife will sell my guns for what I told her I paid for them)
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Comment #6 Removed by Moderator

To: Tijeras_Slim

Heard this one?


7 posted on 07/29/2011 2:42:47 PM PDT by don-o (Abolish FReepathons. Be a monthly donor.)
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Comment #8 Removed by Moderator

To: FLAMING DEATH

too funny FLAMING DEATH,
What part of W.Va you at?


9 posted on 07/29/2011 3:07:49 PM PDT by Joe Boucher ((FUBO) Don't trust the F.B.I.)
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To: Joe Boucher

Dear Employees:

As the CEO of this organization have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President and that our insurance costs, taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases our prices would have to increase by about 10%. But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead.

This has really been bothering me since I believe we are family here and I didn’t know how to choose who would have to go.

So this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found sixty ‘Obama’ bumper stickers on our employees’ cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can’t think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change...... I gave it to them.

I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

THE BOSS


10 posted on 07/29/2011 4:08:51 PM PDT by Mean Daddy
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To: don-o

Somewhere.


11 posted on 07/29/2011 4:26:02 PM PDT by Tijeras_Slim
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To: Joe Boucher

Gassaway.

Today is a banner day for me, I guess. I’ve been posting for 11 years and I finally got a comment pulled from Freerepublic.

Although I don’t understand why. The “word” in question is a real last name of Indian origin.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheila_Dikshit
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anurag_Dikshit

Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. Moderator...can I get an explanation? How do I address a comment to the moderator?


12 posted on 07/29/2011 4:57:48 PM PDT by FLAMING DEATH (Are you better off than you were $4 trillion ago?)
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To: FLAMING DEATH

Again...bump for help...

How do I contact a moderator?

Am I logged in?


13 posted on 07/29/2011 6:30:46 PM PDT by FLAMING DEATH (Are you better off than you were $4 trillion ago?)
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To: conservativegirl

Heard it before.
On the martini part:
Three measures of Gordon’s
One measure of Vodka
Half measure of Lillet (The original calls for Kina Lillet, but that hasn’t been available since 1986)
Shaken over ice, and served with a large, thin slice of lemon peel.

Called a, “Vesper.”

GREAT STUFF!!


14 posted on 07/29/2011 6:34:55 PM PDT by RandallFlagg ("I can see 2012 from my house!" Jim Thompson, 7-16-2011)
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