Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

'bout the South
private email | 7/27/2011 | email

Posted on 07/27/2011 11:40:36 PM PDT by boatbums

Alabama

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

"Where's Henry?" the others asked.

"Henry had a stroke o' some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.

"You left Henry layin' out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.

"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one's gonna steal Henry!"

Georgia

The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."

Louisiana

A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."

When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."

Mississippi

The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"

Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"

The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

North Carolina

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, "I got a flat tahr."

The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."

Tennessee

A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"

The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

Texas

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."

"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "

***

Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'about the South, but y'all never heard o' nobody retirin' an' movin' North.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: southernhumor
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-35 last
To: tx_eggman

Oh, I can laugh at ludicrous things. I’m laughing at you right now ;)


21 posted on 07/28/2011 9:27:56 AM PDT by mikeus_maximus (If we can't reimpose conservatives principles on the GOP under these circumstances., we never will.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: USS Alaska

Pockets in Appalachia do that too..all the way into to the Cumberland Plateau of TN


22 posted on 07/28/2011 9:32:31 AM PDT by wardaddy (Palin or Bachman..either with Marco....I'm often on a .hence my spelling..sorry)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: Vinnie; fullchroma; Fledermaus
OK....I will bite...things I actually do say from the list:

40. I'll take Shakespeare....I love the Bard..always have

36. ...I'll take a Heineken...(wifey..from Charleston SC..pedigreed)

34....no sideburns here in Music City as a rule except on Hipster meterosexuals often from up North

32......Graceland is indeed VERY TACKY..Good God.

31....kids in back of pickup...my wife admonishes me all the time...but I let them do it when we are out more rural by the house

30...Wrasslin is fake...but still hurts...see the Mickey Rourke movie

27...my wife would tell me about my weight were it crazy

20...Wifey never goes to Wal Mart or Dollar General...I do

19....I detest beef fat..it's rancid...pork fat on the other hand is near trinity food wise

16...I like fancy lettuce but do like a chilled iceberg wedge with blue cheese and bacon bits..

15...everyone does computers now under age 90..anywhere

13...my son loves Salmon and Trout...broiled..i like Flounder and Pompano...Gulf boy

12...I know folks registered at Tiffanys...a waste..hype for the Blue Box..most gals opt for Pottery Barn, Restoration or one of the big dept stores...or Corzine for Belle Meade folks

9) I play chess...but I'd rather freep when I have spare time

4) I always get salad dressing on the side except for the wedge aforementioned

2) I have two daughters...having them change clothes for the appearance of chaste is as common here as in Utah...look at MTV in New York metro for more trashy women..southern women are not trashy unless drunk or at the lower rungs...and then not all of them...Southern women and some higher end South American women are about as good as it gets...and yes..I actually have been everywhere

1)I don't drink but I enjoy when my wife does and table dances on Lower Broad.

23 posted on 07/28/2011 9:49:45 AM PDT by wardaddy (Palin or Bachman..either with Marco....I'm often on a .hence my spelling..sorry)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: mikeus_maximus
Oh, I can laugh at ludicrous things. I’m laughing at you right now ;)<\i><\P>

Brilliant ...

24 posted on 07/28/2011 12:32:04 PM PDT by tx_eggman (Liberalism is only possible in that moment when a man chooses Barabas over Christ.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: Jemian

Uh, been to Arkansas much?


25 posted on 07/28/2011 2:01:50 PM PDT by Fledermaus (I'm done with political parties. The GOP is useless. Anarchy is perferable to this CRAP!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: wardaddy
Man, you are real, real close to being a Yankee! lol . And NOW you mention table dancing? I'll be calling soon! ;-)
26 posted on 07/28/2011 2:06:06 PM PDT by Fledermaus (I'm done with political parties. The GOP is useless. Anarchy is perferable to this CRAP!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 23 | View Replies]

To: Fledermaus

No. I live in Alabama. I am a G.R.I.T.S.


27 posted on 07/28/2011 2:18:45 PM PDT by Jemian
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: Jemian
"Y'all" is singular.

The plural is "all y'all."

Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)

LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

28 posted on 07/28/2011 3:09:41 PM PDT by LonePalm (Commander and Chef)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: mikeus_maximus
This has to do with some idiot from another part of the company who falls for Hollywood stereotypes of the South, thinks they can fake an authentic southern accent, and is oblivious to the fact that "y'all" is a contraction of "you all"-- plural, never singular.

Shows what you know! Y'all is singular and the plural is all y'all. ;o)

29 posted on 07/28/2011 3:39:59 PM PDT by boatbums ( God is ready to assume full responsibility for the life wholly yielded to Him.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: LonePalm

No sir. It is not ever singular.

“Y’all” refers to a group. “All y’all” ensures that everyone within the sound of the speaker knows they are included.


30 posted on 07/28/2011 3:55:31 PM PDT by Jemian
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 28 | View Replies]

To: wardaddy

“15...everyone does computers now under age 90..anywhere”

I was visiting friends a couple of counties deep into rural NC a few weeks ago. Their 20 something kids are as technologically skilled as my suburban 20 something kids.


31 posted on 07/28/2011 4:26:45 PM PDT by Rebelbase
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 23 | View Replies]

To: The Cajun

Yeah you right! ;o)


32 posted on 07/28/2011 4:26:56 PM PDT by boatbums ( God is ready to assume full responsibility for the life wholly yielded to Him.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Jemian
Well, we did it that way in NC when I was growing up. They did it that way in SC & VA when I was in the Navy and they do it that way in GA where I live now.

Maybe they do things differently in AL.

Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)

LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

33 posted on 07/28/2011 7:18:16 PM PDT by LonePalm (Commander and Chef)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 30 | View Replies]

To: Fledermaus

We look forward to it....


34 posted on 07/28/2011 10:29:23 PM PDT by wardaddy (Palin or Bachman..either with Marco....I'm often on a .hence my spelling..sorry)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

To: LonePalm; Jemian

Y’all is not singular....not anywhere in Dixie I have ever lived

7th generation Mississippian, FFV, Ole Miss grad, married to Charleston born and Murfreesboro TN raised lass

No way...maybe coonasses in Ville Platte say y’all as singular but I always heard “you” in one to one


35 posted on 07/28/2011 10:37:24 PM PDT by wardaddy (Palin or Bachman..either with Marco....I'm often on a .hence my spelling..sorry)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 28 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-35 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson