Posted on 07/03/2011 9:53:55 AM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin
(One author says the man-child trend isn't just material for Seth Rogen, it's a nationwide epidemic.)
Has the rise of powerful women turned men into boys? This is the question author Kay Hymowitz asks in her provocative new book, Manning Up. Hymowitz argues that men today are free from the traditional tests of manhood—marrying and providing for children—and this freedom comes at a price: an increasing number of men are stuck in a state of permanent adolescence.
The statistics are shocking. Colleges are reducing the standards for male applicants to balance out the majority of incoming women. Among Americans 25 to 34, 34 percent of women have bachelor's degrees compared to 27 percent of men. Young women in major cities earn more than fifteen times more than their male peers. And before you think this is good news for women, it also means that the field of eligible bachelors is dwindling while the demand for Seth Rogen comedies is exploding.
So, why are men failing to grow up? Is it the fault of radical feminists? Is it the fault of the media? ...Should we blame Canada?
Hymowitz argues that the real problem is our changing culture, which has become detrimental to men. Fifty years ago, men in their mid-to-late twenties were expected to be financially independent, married, and well on their way to starting families. Society expected men to grow up—so they did.
The "knowledge economy" has changed all that. The modern world encourages people to stay in school well into their twenties, all the while accumulating debt that makes it even harder to become financially independent and start a family. Plus, the skills required by a knowledge economy are skills that come more naturally to women. Jobs like those in the design and communication fields emphasize traditionally feminine skill sets. Even the traditional male bastions of law and management are becoming increasingly dominated by women.
Instead, today's men are tending to live lives free of most responsibility. Hymowitz criticizes the empty male culture of Maxim magazine, Spike TV, and lives lived with frat-boy abandon. Instead of shouldering responsibility, many American males have become experts at shirking it.
It's easy for women to say that the turnabout is fair play, but the fact is this: our economy and our culture are not well-served by a lost generation of American men. A healthy society needs a mix of masculine and feminine values. It was stereotypically masculine daring that invented the Internet and landed men on the moon, and women have reasons of self-interest to want a change in affairs, not the least being the desire for a responsible, dependable romantic partner.
Hymowitz observes how many women are finding the dating scene filled with men who are far from marriageable material. Biology and culture have conspired to make women naturally want to seek higher-status males—a natural biological imperative to find mates that can take care of future offspring. In other words, women don't usually want to "marry down." But what happens when the supply of marriageable men is incredibly low? We are about to find out.
Boys are totally harassed by the left wing Union feminazis in majority white schools. The White feminists/homosexual diversity mob hates the nature of boys. I saw it first hand.
In grades: Once my son wrote his paper for English class and his girlfriend was “sick” so he wrote her paper at the last minute for her. He got a C. She got an A. There was no comparison - his was far superior to the one he wrote for her at the last minute for the lesbian teacher. Any subjective grading always went anti boy. Over and over again I saw it.
In false witness: Boys being falsely accused of missing class when they were there or accused of unexcused absenses when they were excused absenses. They are accused of not turning in homework assignments when they did. Atheletic boys were specifically targeted with lies. It got so bad, the coaches made the boys get receipts for homework from the lesbos so they could not harm them.
A lot of this is perception. There are many men in the country. The problem is, the country sees only buffoon-men on ‘tha tee vee’ and in the movies. We watch gangsta’s in music videos. SNAGs abound, to be sure, as do 30-year-old momma’s basement dwellers. But ‘men’ are not stuck in adolescence and more than ‘women’ are all more reasoned, well-educated, and mature.
Anyway, this point is chasing a rabbit. The main part of the article is wrong. Men are in the state they are, mostly because family law is horrendously skewed against them. Combine that with the mercenary mentality of most young US women,,, and marriage is a very bad risk for a young man today. But this article casts everything as perfect women, and immature men.
Before I posted about this article I thought I would look through the comments to find out if anyone would post about what I thought was a ‘biggie’ in the reasons why so many young men are opting out of marriage. Yours mostly fits.
A man today in America be he a young man or an old man takes a HUGE leap of faith when they decide to get married. Marriage today can be a walk though a never-ending minefield. Add on the extra’s of children in a marriage and your chances of blowing up increase exponentially.
Now, I believe in marriage and am now in a very happy one. It’s not perfect but nothing is you know. You might think it’s strange but one of the things that helps us out is that the TV isn’t on with shows that depict the Husband and or the parents are idiots and that the wife and/or children are perfect or in most cases just so much smarter than the husband figure.
Unfortunately for most men in the U.S. that ‘Idiot Box’ is out there blaring it’s message all day and night long. The viewer’s can’t help but be influenced by that sort of drivel.
And a young man today? Well I think they are still as smart as they used to be. They just haven’t found their way into analyzing what’s is going on with their lives in relation to women. They just “know” that it’s better to be single than to put themselves in a situation where they are now the “Dumb ass/Idiot/Easily Manipulated Husband” they have been seeing on the TV most of their lives. Once they realize that on an Intellectual basis as well as a Emotional basis. Then they know that if they are going to get married then they need to find a woman who also understands that that TV stereotype of Husbands is not just false but Deadly-to-a-Happy-Marriage false.
Why get married? My lawyer will tell you that getting married is nothing but a legal disadvantage for a man. Sorry but I would rather have relationships without the legal entanglements. The feminists have have made this bed and I could care less about them having to sleep in it one way or the other. I am free and thats all that matters. I know this sounds harsh but its the stark reality of a fast food fast life and fast sex culture. I am only adapting to it. No apologies and no regrets...
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Previously, sex was limited to marriage most of the time. Those who wanted to participate in it had to take on the responsibilities that went along with it.
Now sex seems to be readily available because many women are okay with shacking up for a while, porn is easy to get, and anyway, Libs have turned sex into something essentially boring over the longterm, like going jogging. People who had had sex shoved in their faces all their lives, and whose major sexual experiences have been NOT within the confines of a monogamous, person-oriented relationship, simply don’t have the same interest level. Meh.
Libs have taken all the sex out of sex. After the initial newness wears off, without any relationship context, sex becomes simply another recreation option, like “should we play racquetball or have sex?”
It’s essentially meaningless in terms of connecting one person to another in an emotionally satisfying way. It’s a solitary experience when it doesn’t really matter who or what is on the other “side” of the activity.
“Necessity” has always been the mother of invention. A similar principle is at work in social relationships and institutions. When it was “necessary” to be married to have legitimate sex and provide for children, people got married. With shacking up and hooking up makinng marriage less “necessary” for a the provision of sex and children, people just don’t feel the need to choose to grow up.
A very poignant post. Thank you.
There is nothing wrong with this...we just don’t want to be a bunch of un-loving, boring stuck-up WASP/Jewish/Catholics republicans or democrats...Do you honest think that Harry Reid ever had a fund day in his life? The man has probably been walking corpse his whole entire life ever since his mother shot him out from between her legs....we actually want to have fun with our lives and not ruin it for everyone else...
Besides what do you think what happens when we get married and our wives constantly nag us to act “properly?”
PS...but if you want to go ahead and blame Canada...go ahead, but just remember, they gave us men Dorothy Stratton!
Frustrated women writing a variety of tomes documenting the perceived inadequacies of men has long since become a cottage industry.
If women want men to act “more like men” then perhaps they should try acting more like women.
Or the UK. And I am only partly joking. The "Man-Child" situation is nothing new. You run across it in records of European aristocracy, the first son or "the heir" had to be trained to run the land, the "spares" on the other hand were generally only allowed to consider carriers in the military, the church or politics. If none of those options suited you and your family could afford it you were allowed to be a perpetual child on a allowance. You might or might not get married, if you did it was to a lady who had more money then you.
It was a heck of a waste and it drained the country of the bright young educated minds it needed.
A number of them came to America either on their own or as "Remittance men".
Now days we still tell young men that certain types of work are "beneath their station". We let them waste their time in idleness rather then making them get out and do something. It is a resource that we will regret wasting.
Can I ask what the 5 companies were/are?
Assuming they get what they think they want, they find out their “dream man” is nothing more than a stunted adolescent that couldn't be a real man if he tried. It should also be understood that these same women will reject all other males that would be great catches and good husbands and fathers because they do not fit the image of “perfection.”
“. . . the atmosphere of quiet despair and bitterness in the lives of men facing this kind of situation. I speak with many men in their marriageable years and they tell me over and over that it is impossible to find a partner . . .”
I'm a rather average guy and I got sick and tired of watching women go nuts over pond scum. I decided that what I wanted in life was a decent job that put food on the table, a roof over my head, and a comfortable living. I also stopped looking for Ms. Right. If she was truly interested, I'd let her hunt for me because I was tired of having my emotions toyed with and then crushed.
I'm very lucky that I met my wife about 15 years ago. Her first husband had died of cancer and we just sort of “clicked.” We are a complete team and I love her dearly. Both of us just look at the chaos of trying to find a decent mate and shake our heads.
Men aren't failing to grow up - women are. "Power women" are neither. They're just narcisistic sadists who have grown up surrounded by a PC culture that coddles their immaturity. What passes for adulthood in "power women" is actually the neurotic group dependencies of teenagers. Real Men are fine - and will have nothing to do with these creatures. In return, the creatures want nothing to do with real men, because men call them on their endlessly manipulative sh!t.
"Power women" are cruel because they are so weak. Above all, they are terrified of real men, and so they spew endless insults and disrespect at the very concept that they exist - all while huddling together at some bar, pissing and moaning about how alone they are. They're utterly lost, and completely pathetic. Feminism has destroyed them, and they don't even see it. Their only value is their reliably Democratic vote, as profoundly psychologically dependent and frightened sheep - which is exactly what they were designed to do, through careful planning, by their "feminist" controllers.
Diana, thanks for posting this article. Your comment was spot on. I've been seeing quite a bit written on this topic lately.
I was recently a single guy, and my gut feeling is that things are only going to get worse.
Men, the men who used to be the stable, provider-types, are simply turning their backs on marriage in increasing numbers. They are dropping out. And why not? In all too many cases, there simply isn't any reward. This is a segment of the market (men) responding to market forces.
The women most affected by this are the ones who chose to be "liberated" and go bed-hopping with thugs and losers when young because "bad boys are EXCITING". Then, when their biological clocks are ticking away, they decide to land some boring normal guy. "Date for fun, marry for security" is the phrase I've heard and read. Who, male or female would EVER go for a sucker deal like that?
What's funny is that the libs who hurl insults about "man boys" and criticize these men the most are the ones who created the mess. Unfortunately for them, insults and shaming language won't work on a group of people who are voting with their feet.
Well, if it makes you feel any better, marriage isn’t working too well for some of us hard-working, God-fearing, gun-totin’ ConservaBabes, either!
I just got shafted in my divorce last year. Got the honor of paying him gobs of cash to keep my farm while rewarding his immoral, illegal, adulterous behavior. Grrrrr!
Should’ve killed him when I first wanted to - I’d be out of prison by now, LOL!
And at 50, I’m not doing it again. A long engagement? You betcha! But, my plan is to get back as much as I had to give him by collecting on his SS the minute I’m eligible.
(And before y’all beat me up, he gamed the system and got away with it; why shouldn’t I?)
“If women want men to act “more like men” then perhaps they should try acting more like women.”
Agreed! :)
But I can still hunt, and shoot and use my chainsaw and all that, Right? (I’ll wear heels and make sure my nails are done, LOL!)
Was this manager perhaps an “affirmative action” person with the qualifications the same as the Bozo POTUS?
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