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Jiggle TV is back
Greensboro News and Record ^ | Tuesday, May 17, 2011 | Maureen Dowd

Posted on 05/17/2011 11:15:02 AM PDT by wbill

The remake of "Charlie's Angels" that ABC is adding to its fall TV lineup is a masterpiece of subtlety. It takes at least 15 minutes before the three girls get wet.

The "Playboy Club" pilot on NBC's schedule is also a stirring moment in feminism. Set in mobbed-up Chicago in the '60s, the script glories in "chasing Bunny tail" and opens panting: "The Door Bunny at the entrance to the Playboy Club. The ears. The tail. The satin. The breasts." Bunny Janie's "cleavage could pick up a salt shaker."

Our leading lady, Maureen, a Cigarette Bunny in corset, fishnets and stilettos, is described this way: "20, Norma Jean before she was Marilyn, an untethered, unconscious sexuality."

In one scene, naked bunnies cavort in the pool with "men watching them as if at Sea World, only much, much better."

Variety reported that the "Playboy" actors had to sign a clause agreeing to nudity "and/or simulated sex acts."

ABC picked up "Pan Am," about stewardesses in the '60s, harking back to the good old days when women didn't sit in first class, they simply served the men who did. "They do it all — and they do it at 30,000 feet," ABC crowed.

Just as the bunnies have to be checked by Bunny Mother to make sure they show enough cleavage and leg, the blue-suited stews on the trans-Atlantic Clipper must be weighed in, wear girdles and hose, and quit when they marry or turn 32. Sixties-era crooners sing "Around the World" and "Jack the Knife" on the "Pan Am" soundtrack, and a sexy British stew wrapped in bedsheets coos to a handsome pilot getting dressed: "Didn't I just get you out of that uniform?"

"Wonder Woman," a David E. Kelley redo of the campy '70s Lynda Carter show, was so embarrassingly breast-centric that NBC executives used the Lasso of Truth to strangle it.

The networks have picked up an extraordinary number of shows by and about strong, modern women — vehicles for Christina Applegate, Zooey Deschanel, Debra Messing, Katharine McPhee, Maria Bello, Chelsea Handler, Ginnifer Goodwin, Kristin Chenoweth and Whitney Cummings. In addition, ABC ordered a new Tim Allen sit-com, "Last Man Standing," about a man who feels threatened in a world ruled by women, and a show called "Work It" about two men who have to dress in drag to get jobs as pharmaceutical reps.

But Hollywood is a world ruled by men, and this season, amid economic anxieties, those men want to indulge in some retro fantasies about hot, subservient babes.

"It's the Hendricks syndrome," said one top male TV producer here. "All the big, corporate men saw Christina Hendricks play the bombshell secretary on 'Mad Men' and fell in love. It's a hot fudge sundae for men: a time when women were not allowed to get uppity or make demands. If the woman got pregnant, she had to drive to a back-alley abortionist in New Jersey. If you got tired of women, they had to go away. Women today don't go away."

A top female entertainment executive says "it's not a coincidence that these retro shows are appearing at the same time men are confused about who to be. A lot of women are making more money and getting more college degrees. The traditional roles of dominant and submissive roles are reversed in many cases. Everything was clearer in the '60s."

Summer movies are testosterone-fueled, with superheroes like Thor, the Green Lantern and Conan the Barbarian. Even the latest wedding saga, "Bridesmaids," produced by Judd Apatow and starring Kristen Wiig, is a "Hangover" spin on a chick flick, with farting, pooping, vomiting and raunchy humor designed to draw in guys.

The nostalgic TV shows try to put a feminist spin on the jiggle.

Sure, the angels of Charlie (Robert Wagner) look hot in thigh-high black boots, red vinyl minidresses and devil's horns. But they have skills, like building car engines, cracking safes hanging upside down after drinking two Cosmos, and putting "the cat in cat burglar."

Kelley made his Wonder Woman a high-powered executive. The bunnies, it is made clear to surprised, martini-slurping male customers, are not hookers. A pipe-smoking Hef offers aspirations: "Here, we only look up to the sky."

The "Pan Am" producers, Nancy Ganis, who was a Pan Am stewardess 30 years ago, and her husband, Sid, a former head of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, have a couple of their multilingual stews moonlighting as spies. In the one uplifting moment that doesn't involve a bra, a little girl with shining eyes watches the stews wiggling in tight skirts across the tarmac.

They are, a pilot says admiringly, "mutations," like the organisms that crawled out of the primordial soup. They're "a new breed of women, they just had the impulse to take flight."

"So don't," he warns a co-pilot, "try to ground them."

Unless, of course, they refuse to wear girdles.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: modo; wouldlazhitit
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To: wbill
I want my J T V!!!
21 posted on 05/17/2011 12:05:08 PM PDT by PBRSTREETGANG
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To: wbill
Mo's subtle campaign for the institution of burkhas!

My how the world has shifted. Suddenly, it's up to conservatives to defend boobs on television. And not just the MSNBC kind.

22 posted on 05/17/2011 12:07:28 PM PDT by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: truthfreedom


How's this?
23 posted on 05/17/2011 12:11:04 PM PDT by RandallFlagg (Let this chant follow BHO everywhere he goes: "You lie. You lie. You lie.")
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To: dfwgator

We have great TVs today and constantly improving with the likes of 3D.
If they bring back this kind of TV, this olde Man would like a TV in 3D/Braille....


24 posted on 05/17/2011 12:18:19 PM PDT by GOYAKLA (Flush Congress in 2010 & 2012)
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To: dfwgator
and special guest star Carol Wayne

Ummm...Carol Wayne passed away many years ago.

25 posted on 05/17/2011 12:18:26 PM PDT by Bloody Sam Roberts (A "Moderate Muslim"? Nothing more than a Muslim Extremist who has run out of ammo.)
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To: RandallFlagg

now that’s what I’m talking about!


26 posted on 05/17/2011 12:19:32 PM PDT by Jeff Vader
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To: Bloody Sam Roberts

Well the skit was from 1977. I wonder how Adrienne Barbeau’s are holding up these days.......back in the day, though....oooofa!


27 posted on 05/17/2011 12:19:57 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: dfwgator
Oh yeah. Adrienne Barbeau. Lordy, Lordy.

Here's a pic from last year.


28 posted on 05/17/2011 12:26:59 PM PDT by Bloody Sam Roberts (A "Moderate Muslim"? Nothing more than a Muslim Extremist who has run out of ammo.)
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To: wbill

Jiggle TV never left. It didn’t even become more subtle, apparently she just never noticed it.


29 posted on 05/17/2011 12:30:47 PM PDT by discostu (Come on Punky, get Funky)
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To: RandallFlagg

Good, but, again, wetter. There’s 30 years of progress toward hot objectification of women and nudity that has been somehow derailed.

They talk about gay marriage as if it’s not mental illness, and they show gay stuff that is not hot lesbians at all, but men who people don’t want to see, but they can’t show perfectly natural and normal thin wet tshirts etc, which clearly the people want to see.

FR really isn’t the forum for this type of discussion though. Of course, more video on the other hand.


30 posted on 05/17/2011 12:34:41 PM PDT by truthfreedom
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To: wbill

Mo sounds like she really, really needs to get laid.

No, I am not volunteering for the job.


31 posted on 05/17/2011 12:39:25 PM PDT by Constitution Day
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To: wbill

What TH is Maureen “bitching” about??

The Hollywood crowd is her people, leftist Democrats just like her. They support homosexual “marriages”, free abortion, etc. What did she think you would get from these people?


32 posted on 05/17/2011 12:49:38 PM PDT by canuck_conservative
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To: Constitution Day
No, I am not volunteering for the job.

Laz will handle it. Surprised that he's not shown up on the thread yet.

33 posted on 05/17/2011 12:49:48 PM PDT by wbill
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To: wbill
and a show called "Work It" about two men who have to dress in drag to get jobs as pharmaceutical reps.

Unnngh.

34 posted on 05/17/2011 12:50:44 PM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: Yo-Yo
Robert Wagner is the new Charlie in the remake.

Better than doing TV ads for reverse mortgages, I suppose.

35 posted on 05/17/2011 1:02:05 PM PDT by Charles Martel (Endeavor to persevere...)
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To: RandallFlagg; namsman
I keep watching and watching that and they never do reach the bottom of the stairs, do they?

I'm going to watch it some more just to make sure......

36 posted on 05/17/2011 1:32:03 PM PDT by SW6906 (6 things you can't have too much of: sex, money, firewood, horsepower, guns and ammunition.)
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